Alpha's 101 Thoughts @fefetea123 - Tumblr Blog

Thought 7: I’m sorry that I’m not your cup of tea

So I thought of this title whilst on the bus so let’s see how this blog turns out.

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In the world there will be many, many and MANY different types of people. But two of the types will be. People who like you aannnndddd people who don’t like you.

Listen, in life we are always going to meet someone that we don’t click with. You’re chalk and their cheese. You’re DC Comics and their Marvel you’re Minecraft and their Fortnite. You’re a glazed doughnut and their a custard doughnut. Do you see my point here?

Speaking from personal ‘experience’ I’ve met people who don’t vibe with me. AND THAT’S OKAY. I’M NOT EVERYONE’S CUP OF TETLEY TEA. For some reason it took my quite a while to understand this situation. I’m very thankful that I finally got somewhat of an answer for it.

Every person is different.

Listennnnnnnnnnnnn. You might feel the need to change the way you are in order to be ‘their cup of tea’. No one needs to change as cheesy as it sounds being yourself is the key to your destiny.

LIKE GIRL/BOY (or whatever gender you identify with) don’t change yourself for whoever because who the hell is going to replace you? NO ONE.

We need more people in the world that stay true to their self.

Everyone’s taken boo, so stay true to yourself.

-Don’t be someone’s tea when you can be your own coffee.

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I don’t know where i was going with this whole beverage analogy - I had English today, thought I’d showcase some of my writing ‘talents?’ -not. Yes, the whole thing was very cliche but haven’t you noticed this from most of my ‘blogs’. See you in the next one <3

-Alpha

There's no grain on these brown eyes, but they can be green if they really want.

Jonathon Ng

Isn't it crazy that there's a world full of people out there.

Thought 6: It’s crazy to me.

I’m thankful.

I have a family. I have friends. I have a home to go to. I don’t worry about where my next meal is coming from. I have clothes even if I don’t like them. I have devices like a phone and laptop. I go to a good school.

I have so many things that I take for granted. If I want something my parents will try their best to meet my wish or compromise in a way. I have so many possibilities to achieve what I want to be whilst having support. I.

My parents mean the absolute most to be. Oh yes we can have our disagreements but I love them nevertheless. I mean the stories they tell me, everything they’ve been through just so my siblings and I can have a head start in life. It’s crazy to me. Maybe because it’s my age, experiences or I’m not wise enough yet to understand the reality of some lives in the world.

My mum came to this country when she was a teen She is the daughter of a Colonel so grew up great with her siblings. She had soldiers pick her up to and from school. She went to a private school, received great education. Her mum and dad also did everything for her and her brothers and sisters. Until her motherland had some sort of war, something to do with government if I remember quickly. She left home to move here. The land of hopes and dreams. Of course the road wasn’t straight and she dealt with so many difficulties. Getting a job that didn’t have the greatest of salaries, working in the early hours of the morning. Having all her qualifications that didn’t really count here. All of that, so I can be alive and well.

That’s one of the stories out of millions of children that experience the same thing. I’m grateful because if she wasn’t brave enough none of my siblings would be here and she might have not met my dad.

It’s crazy to me how the future unfolds its self to have everything in place. It’s hard to comprehend that millions of people are faced with so many bad things. Yet I am here. A girl in a over sized green t-shirt with unicorn pajama bottoms. (I’m a fashion icon everyone). Sometimes we need to stop, take a breath of the polluted air and think how wonderful it is to be alive.

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Hello again! Welcome to thoughts and rambles I’m your host Alpha. If you didn’t understand a word I written previously - neither did I. Well catch me next time probably writing another post that is very erm ‘interesting’.

-Alpha

I'm not waving my white flag just yet.

Thought 5: theoverwhelmingfeeling

So recently I have started school and have entered a new academic year. When I tell you I felt overwhelmed. I WAS AND STILL AM OVERWHELMED.

Honestly, it’s like swimming in the deep end, when a) you can’t swim b) you can’t touch the bottom and c) the lifeguard isn’t in sight. I mainly felt overwhelmed about the following two years that are coming for me. As I said before I am not the strongest in Science and Maths and that’s worrying me. As soon as I had two out of my 3 Science lessons I felt like an absolute idiot. A fish out of water. It was like everyone knew what they were supposed to do except me. Like my brain decided to pack up it’s belongings and told me ‘see ya!’

For me personally I absolutely dislike when I’m behind in a class or not up to the standards of what the teacher would like. It KILLS me. Every time you go into that lesson knowing you’re doing well is like have a massive note on your forehead saying’ you’re the dumb one’. Right now I’m sick and tired of feeling this way as well. That’s probably the reason why i get overwhelmed because it’s like I’m at a stand still and can’t do anything about it.

To sum up everything I just wrote. I don’t like being in a class where I feel stupid or brainless, at times, because I don’t know the basics of a subject. I guess the good things about this situation is knowing your weaknesses. Now I know them I can identify and work on them easier. With the some what limited time I have left, I can maybe achieve the good grades I need to take the next step in my educational career.

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All this might not make sense to some people as sometimes my quote on quote ‘feelings’ don’t translate well on a Tumblr post.However, bare with me because I’m almost there I guess.

-Alpha

I wonder where I'll C myself in the future.

Thought 3: It’s 11pm okay.

(Bare in mind I typed this at 11pm and let’s be real most of the time i write rubbish, so enjoy even more rubbish. <3)

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I know what I want. But at the same time I don’t know what I want. I know how to get there, but also don’t. You see my problem here? A constant battle that goes around in a vicious cycle of what I know and don’t know. Again another part of growing up and being forced to experience ‘life’.

Time does play it’s lead role. I have time but don’t. Honestly this game of knowing and not knowing is so tedious. It’s true when people say time flies when you’re having fun. Often I daydream and think about the past I’ve had. The songs I remember, the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been and so on. Reminiscing on my history makes me have some sense of triumph that a) I’ve made it this far b) still haven’t played Fortnite and c. Well c) I don’t know what c) is. The only C I think about is where I’ll C myself in the future.

I would like to become a Journalist one day. Of course the field is fiercely competitive and I need to work my socks, liver and brain off to gain a high position in this career - would be a dream come true, though I want my liver. (I suck at making online jokes if you haven’t noticed).

Okay back to the ‘main’ topic which is indecisiveness. I somehow have to do everything i can dream of doing under a time limit. Time limits will be my new friends in the upcoming years. I can’t wait to write essays and complete tests in minimal time. #yayschool. No, I’m serious i just want to get all my exams over and done with so i can get that paper with awesome grades, and head to Nando’s to have some Peri-Peri chicken and some scrumptious chips.

To wrap things up, some what nicely. I hope whilst experiencing new things and learning, that I can hopefully answer the questions I have right now. That I can enter this big, bad world with knowledge in my head, love in my heart and power in my words - and occasionally fists....

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Well that’s late night talk with Alpha, hoped you enjoyed it.

-Alpha

There's nothing more wonderful than freedom of speech.

Ilya Ehrenburg

Thought 1: Take my tongue away

Sometimes in life things don’t always go to plan. There are moments when your head is filled with a hurricane of thoughts. But that all gets lost in translation as soon as you open your mouth.

But what if your tongue is taken away metaphorically speaking. Imagine talking without a tongue - hard right. This metaphor I made up also can show how my freedom has been taken away too. Rights to speech. However, in some places in the world and in some situations talking is a no.

I found this unfortunate. I always have things to say, whether they come out in proper English is a different matter. Difference is unique right. I am always told being different is a good thing to be. Standing out of the crowd. Difference is great for the most part. When it comes to power and age and backgrounds does different still count.

To clear up what I am saying is that sometimes having the right words to say and saying it in the best way possible isn’t enough. Then you start to question that what’s the point of speaking if that right has been stolen from you.

Why?

Why should my voice be taken, cause someone doesn’t like what I said. Or why should I be stopped because people can’t acknowledge truth.

Which side is at fault? The one who speaks or the one who silences.

Is there even a party to blame?

Alpha

---As you could probably tell that what I write can be confusing but I probably do a part 2 to this blog. There is more to write but should silence be the better option?

#beginner #blog #take my tongue away #thought1 #alpha

You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

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