Felishous

I'm a gay kitty

[felishous-blog1]

So I know I never use this websight anymore, but this subject keeps coming up a lot, about how I’m allegedly a dangerous, abusive person. While I can’t pinpoint how or why, here’s the thing:

I recognize that due to my confusing development in growing up autistic, coming out, transitioning, and being introduced to things like “friends” and “relationships”, my social approach toward other humans hasn’t been fantastic.

I recognize that in the past I have done things to make others feel uncomfortable or upset.

I recognize that in the past my attempts at friendships and relationships have been creepy.

And I think it’s entirely possible that I said or did something in recent years that made others skeeved out.

To be completely honest, it’s easy for me to become extremely oblivious toward a social cue that most people can pick up right away. And while intention is no excuse in the end, I’ve had a lot of trouble expressing myself properly and understanding boundaries.

I like to think I’m always improving my behavior one step at a time, but as far as relationships go, I’ve found it easier to be with others who are also autistic, as we tend to speak a similar language.

If anyone that happens to be reading this has ever experienced one of those weird, creepy, awkward, or even frightening moments around me, I’d like to sincerely apologize. I do not expect anyone to accept this apology, nor to feel sorry for me. Simply put: self-awareness is a slow-learning process for me and this is the only way to reach out that I can think of. 

I am not a predator, nor do I seek self-fulfillment through exploiting/manipulating others. I grew up believing some backwards things about relationships because I was a young autistic kid with pretty much no learned lessons about the world and had to “learn” through those around me, like many children tend to do regardless of neurology. I bloom about as quickly as a corpse flower.

Like, if any of you really don’t wanna see me or hear me or even acknowledge my existence, that’s fine. You don’t have to. You have your own boundaries that you wish to remain intact, and that’s extremely valid. 

But I’m not going around looking for people to use for my enjoyment. I’m pretty settled in with my relationships at the moment. I’m scared of everyone (and having been in an abusive relationship didn’t help with this). I usually wait until someone flirts with me first, and whether I accept those flirts depends on that person’s level of trust toward me. I guess this is part of the learning process, and getting older.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I’m not great with words and I didn’t call anyone in to proofread this for me. I just want everyone to feel safe and be happy, and I can’t be happy if I’m making others unhappy.

[felishous-blog1]

Postblocked from Facebook for 24 hours because I apparently produced white tears.

[trashbending]

https://www.instagram.com/queenofluna/

[felishous-blog1]

I think that as a community, we need to have a very important discussion about callouts

TW: abuse

We’ve all seen trans people make callouts about other trans people. Sometimes there’s toxic people lurking amongst your friends, or a public display is made of someone’s problematic politics.

But the kind of callouts that are often times necessary are callouts of abuse. Abuse can come in multiple forms: physical, emotional, mental manipulation, etc.

Sometimes others feel compelled to spread a post about an alleged abuser to their friends to warn them about this person.

But abuse callouts are not always made from the heart. When you see a callout post alleging abuse about a member of your community, there are a few things to consider:

1. Has the person making the callout ever had a personal connection to the alleged abuser? Such as being in a relationship with, a relative, a friend, coworker, etc.

2. Is the person making the callout doing so on the behalf of the victim? Do they know the victim?

3. Does anyone know what happened? Are there any helpful details other than a blank/vague statements (x has abused multiple people and is very dangerous, etc).

This isn’t to say you should doubt callouts of abuse. Abuse is something to be taken very seriously. Reach out to people, see if you personally know anyone involved, and understand what happened and see what you can do to help.

However, sometimes a callout is made to mask one’s own misdeeds. With the way the internet works, especially popular social networks such as facebook, abusers know full well that they can be put on blast at any moment.

So what some abusers may resort to is picking a target to project their own abuses onto someone else, sometimes those they’ve abused themselves, but often as a distraction.

They will refuse to include any details and use generic language. If the callout is made to imply someone else was abused, they will be vague to avoid accidentally changing their story (“a friend of a friend reached out to me about x’s abusive behavior”, etc.)

They may also attack anyone they can find affiliated with their target in any way, and shame them for being “connected to an abuser”. They will relentlessly do this, and even use their friends as their personal army.

So all I’m saying is, yes, take abuse allegations very seriously, but also be cautious of how they can easily come from an individual’s own manipulative agenda.

[felishous-blog1]

Kinda feel like dying, at least that would please half of this town that's trying to kill me anyway.

[felishous-blog1]

Erik Peterson died and basically I'm incredibly sad because the world lost a great songwriter today. RIP.

[felishous-blog1]

Tumblr: a place where bad people project their own sins unto others.

[felishous-blog1]

I don't get people who joke about praising Stalin. There's nothing funny about being a tankie.

[sweetbeanscomix-deactivated2020]

[felishous-blog1]

Primmies are basically cave hipsters.

[felishous-blog1]

Tumblr is bad ok

[felishous-blog1]

I swear the Portland trans scene is one of the shittiest ones I’ve seen. Seems like everyone is always competing for radikewl cool points, and the only way they can think of to do that is by targeting each other and threatening those who do not cut ties with whoever they hate for whatever reason.

[assignedmale]

Trans lives are “opinions”, but fighting back against bigotry is intolerance.

Yes, this is an analogy of Facebook’s community standards.

[felishous-blog1]

You: “We must ban the trans from the bathroom”

Me: “Why?”

You: “To protect the children!”

Me: “Shouldn’t we be protecting them from guns inst-”

You:

[felishous-blog1]

While we're all having a laugh about Cathy Brennan being a "fake goth", let's not forget that she has fucking blood on her hands, and is a goddamn payday lawyer. Cathy Brennan is a fucking MURDERER.

[felishous-blog1]

Seriously tho, what is it with Portland and the fact that everyone drives either an Outback or a Forester?

[felishous-blog1]

Mark Zuckerberg sure as hell fucking loves dead trans women, doesn't he?