Fen'Harel Enaste

"I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." [Independent RP Blog]

[mageoftheinquisition-deactivate]

Cracking...

[mageoftheinquisition-deactivate]

The evening went on with his story and many days after that when quests were finished and all was settled in Haven Katelyn would go to Solas for more stories. The Elvhen and the Fade being the most prominent subjects but either way she listened intently to every single one with some making her heart leap in joy while others made her stifle tears.

"Solas.." She interrupted one afternoon as he recollected the story of a spirit who drove mountain passers into ferelden. "Josephine says I shall have to speak with people from many diverse places and I would like as best I can to cater to the guests of the inquisition. I would be very interested in learning Elven, if you would be willing to teach me.."

[fenharillen]

"The Dalish do not know much themselves," Solas confided in her, "But I will teach you what I can. In fact, I would be delighted. You have shown yourself to be understanding of the suffering of my people..." 

It was strange to think of a human being so compassionate toward them. Even those who felt badly for the Elves where not usually so interested in them or their culture. She was different. Perhaps it was her naivety in having been raised in the tower that made it so, but either way, it was remarkable. 

"That is a unique trait, one not many share. I am afraid we are invisible."

Perhaps she understood something of that, he thought. Before the Mage Rebellion and the Conclave, how visible has she been? 

[fenharillen]

            d u t y means doing the things your heart may well regret.

[lxvellaninquisitor-deactivated2]

He frowned, “You had your reasons, Solas. I don’t know how the Dalish ended up painting you as a bad person, but… You have your reasons to be upset with us.” Slowly, he reached out to lay a hand on Solas’ shoulder—a gesture of comfort and understanding.

"I do hurt. It was hard enough to come here on my own, I won’t lie. Perhaps it was fate—or maybe just luck—that we ran into each other again, and I am glad you are here right now. You’re still my friend, and I’ll do what I can to have a better understanding of who really were my ancestors." He looked down at the corpse, his frown changing into a sad smile.

"At the very least, I should give the Keeper a proper burial—and perhaps keep these trinkets close." It was probably what his family would have wanted; it was better than allowing looters to steal away their belongings. At least now these figurines and totems would be in a safe place.

[fenharillen]

"Would you like my assistance?" 

Solas walked toward his friend, standing beside him, looking at the body. "I know the old songs, the songs sung when we laid our dead to rest, and I would sing them now, for these people. You cared about them... It would not do to leave them here."

Once again, he leaned down. 

"Ir abelas, da'len," he muttered to the corpse. "I am sorry that my actions even caused the situation you lived in in the first place. Perhaps you will find rest in the Beyond. Falon'Din can no longer guide you, but I can." 

[fenharillen]

"Solas? /Solas/?" Her voice is panicked as she wakes, jerking up, pain shooting up her arm as she untangles her hand from the blankets to look at her glowing palm.

Solas reaches out and grabs her hand, his own magic soothing over the Mark. “Enya,” he mutters, his heart racing, concern in his eyes. 

[clanculum]

But for a mortal, the condition of the immortal was terrifying. The Anchor was not meant to occupy the body of a mortal. She should have died, but the Anchor had saved her. So often, she should have died. Something about her body was wrong, and it showed in her dreams.

She cradled his arm against her chest, nuzzling her face into his palm. The tiredness of sleep still hung over her, despite her shaking fear.

"I know. Thank you. Just… stay. All right?"

[fenharillen]

Stay.

Stay.

The words seemed so heavy. He wanted to. For now... For now he could stay, yes. He would stay with her. Even though it was selfish of him... 

"Yes..." he muttered, laying them both back on the sheets. "Come... to rest. I will show you beautiful things. I will fight away the demons in your nightmares. I will guard your sleep." 

[fenharillen]

"Solas? /Solas/?" Her voice is panicked as she wakes, jerking up, pain shooting up her arm as she untangles her hand from the blankets to look at her glowing palm.

Solas reaches out and grabs her hand, his own magic soothing over the Mark. “Enya,” he mutters, his heart racing, concern in his eyes. 

[clanculum]

The gentle hand in her hair and the arms around her body did serve to calm her shaking, to banish the panic from her mind. Gradually, the memories of the dream faded and the pain of her arm fell away. She listened to the pounding of his heart and mirrored her breathing to his, drawing her knees to her chest to curl against him.

"I am. Of course I am."

She felt childish, crying from a dream, curling in his lap.

[fenharillen]

Solas didn't want to let her ago, to lose the warmth of her body. Selfishly, he held on, his own breathing calming down. It was seldom he had nightmares -- For Eravirelan nightmares were something else entirely-- but to see her so shaken...

"I am here. I am here for you, ma vhenan. My heart... "

What would he do without her?

Had he really fallen so deeply in love? 

[tevinterxredeemer]

"As if simply being a mage means you’re filled with hundreds of demons and simply speaking can set them on someone. Varric told me about a Qunari mage he met in Kirkwall with his friend Hawke over drinks one night. The ones that came looking for him acted like simply hearing him speak meant they were all instantly possessed by demons and tried to kill them.” He shook his head.

"Yes, I’d heard about that…the number of tranquil in Tevinter alone." Another shudder. He’d never been comfortable around the Tranquil, perhaps, in part, due to being a mage, himself.

[fenharillen]

"That... From hearing them speak? Ludicrous. Even the darker spirits need permission to possess bodies. It's not as if they can go about possessing whomever they wish without permission. To be that utterly ignorant of magic... I cannot possibly imagine."

He snorted. 

"I mean, it's not as if the south is savvy. Mistress Vivienne is a very powerful and competent woman, but she hardly understands the full extent of magic. I still cannot comprehend being that backwards..." 

[fenharillen]

"Solas? /Solas/?" Her voice is panicked as she wakes, jerking up, pain shooting up her arm as she untangles her hand from the blankets to look at her glowing palm.

Solas reaches out and grabs her hand, his own magic soothing over the Mark. “Enya,” he mutters, his heart racing, concern in his eyes. 

[clanculum]

Death did not frighten her. The prospect of an end did not paralyze her. Infection, disease, consumption, possession — these terrified her. The idea of her mark conquering her, leaving her powerless, changing her into something else. Robbing her from Solas. Tightening her fist to hide the mark, though the light still seeped between her fingers, Enelya dug into his embrace, clinging to his shoulders. She rubbed her face into his shoulder, wiping her tears on his skin.

"I am yours…"

[fenharillen]

Solas held her close, could feel his heart hammering in his chest still, wanted to take away her anxiety into his own body and clam her fears. Closing his eyes, he did his best to comfort her. 

His chest ached and his heart swelled with deep affection. 

"Enya..."

[lxvellaninquisitor-deactivated2]

Tarathiel sat up in an instant, a look of confusion in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed anything like that—even if I’ve been taught the wrong thing for most of my life.” He pushed himself to his feet.

"I just… you’ve been around longer than any of the other elves—you’ve seen things that others have not, and you’re… immortal. That’s why I consider you higher than myself—why I’ve always seen you as a god." The Inquisitor straightened himself. "However, if you don’t want to be referred to as such by me, I’ll do my best not to."

[fenharillen]

"Do you remember what I said about a god having no need to prove himself? I failed at that qualification long ago," Solas' eyes scanned the other man's face for a moment, but he let himself relax; he didn't want to be seen as a threat. Not now, at any rate. 

"I'm not a god. Not any longer. If I ever had the right to be called that, I fore fitted it. In any case, you are the one in pain," Solas said, turning around and glancing back toward The Keeper's body. "Real pain. I should be more sensitive to you. I apologize." 

[fenharillen]

"Solas? /Solas/?" Her voice is panicked as she wakes, jerking up, pain shooting up her arm as she untangles her hand from the blankets to look at her glowing palm.

Solas reaches out and grabs her hand, his own magic soothing over the Mark. “Enya,” he mutters, his heart racing, concern in his eyes. 

[clanculum]

The dream haunted her wakefulness, the scorching pain from the Fade lingering in her arm. Tears bubbled at her eyes as her breathe came quickly, even as Solas crushed her to his chest. She stared at her shaking hand, the stable, unmoving mark piercing the skin.

"But what if it does? What if it spreads?" She clutched him, burying herself into his arms. Despite his skill, Solas was not invincible. He did not know everything.

[fenharillen]

"Then I will do anything in my power to find a way to save you. I will... I will defeat Corypheus on my own and take the Orb back from him if it means saving you. ANything, ma vhenan. You are my world..."

The thought that he could really lose her paralyzed him.

He coudln't...

He coudln't..

[mageoftheinquisition-deactivate]

Cracking...

[mageoftheinquisition-deactivate]

"Tell me all of them then, I grow tired of my duties for the day and wish to enjoy myself for a time. I have seen so little of the world that all you share will seem wondrous to me Solas." Allowing herself to laugh the snow about her flurried in time with her joy until it at last settled upon the ice as well.

"I had met elves before, in the circle I mean, but all of them seemed so bitter and distant that I never knew them really. If I am to be a herald, a leader, I need to know as much as I can about those I protect and that includes the elves so please teach me Solas." He might have never guessed it, but Katelyn held great respect for the elven mage and his knowledge and her eyes shone with a curiosity that she could not suppress.

[fenharillen]

"The Elvhen..." he muttered, and his eyes were far away, far beyond the dark ice and the swirling snow and the human mage, looking toward a different time when things had been different. 

Time had changed so much. It made made his heart bitter and cold like the ice he could command to creep and crawl with a tilt of his head and a whisper of a thought. It ached now, in his chest, a pain that time could not lessen or heal, a pain that had come to seem insignificant in the thousands of years that he had been privy to the suffering of others. 

"Long ago, the Elvhen lived in cities in the sky. Magic was different then, more common. Every Elf lived forever, and some spells would take centuries to cast. The song of every spell would ring out at once, overlapping in glorious symphony that made the heart ache with joy. The Elvhen were magic, immortal and beautiful, never changing." 

[fenharillen]

Question for the Mun: would you ship your Solas with a male character if the chemistry was right?

Yes. Of course. :) 

[tevinterxredeemer]

"He may be a bit dense in the ways of personal hygiene, however, he certainly has an analytic mind. I suppose I can see the appeal of the certainty of purpose on some base level, but I’ve never been one for blind following. I much prefer to see and decide where I’m going on my own. Also, the way they treat their mages? Ghastly. It makes Tranquility almost seem a kindness." He suppressed a shudder at the thought.

[fenharillen]

Solas made a face, his lips curling up into a snarl. "Lips sewn shut... The thought of it is disgusting. Cassandra recently revealed to me some new information of hers to ask my magical opinion, as she apparently has come to trust and value my knowledge. Apparently, Tranquility has a cure. That is more than can be said for being a serabaas... That kind of abuse..." 

[fenharillen]

"Solas? /Solas/?" Her voice is panicked as she wakes, jerking up, pain shooting up her arm as she untangles her hand from the blankets to look at her glowing palm.

Solas reaches out and grabs her hand, his own magic soothing over the Mark. “Enya,” he mutters, his heart racing, concern in his eyes. 

[clanculum]

Her dreams were aggressive, rampant, terrifying. They plagued her mind and made her shake, her eyes glued to her hand. “The Anchor spread, and it moved up my arm, and consumed half my body, and my eyes, and my mind, and—”

Did her dreams show her a terror, or a future? She shivers beside him, her hand’s light shuddering and flashing in Solas’ grasp.

[fenharillen]

He ran his hands through her hair but did not sense the Mark spreading. It was responding to her fear. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he pulled her close and wrapped her in his arms. 

"It is over now. The Nightmare cannot reach you in my arms, da'vhenan." 

[lxvellaninquisitor-deactivated2]

The elf stiffened at the question, slowly turning his head back to Solas. His eyes were huge—full of confusion, doubt and a small amount of fear. He jumped to his feet and stumbled backwards, toppling over the splintered remains of an aravel and onto his backside with a clumsy yelp.

He pushed himself up, sputtering to get the leaves out of his face. He swallowed hard and, for the first time ever, he looked at Solas with a sense of reverence and fear. “Th-That’s why you think of the Dalish as children…? Y-you know the truth, of what happened centuries ago.” He whispered. In an instant, he was groveling—either out of respect or terror, he wasn’t sure.

"F-forgive me, Fen’Harel, I didn’t know…" Tarathiel was shaking from head to toe, as did his voice. 

[fenharillen]

Solas heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. "I don't... I won't hurt you, Tarathiel. I am not a heartless, soulless monster and I do not strike people down for speaking to me. If you wanted a god full of anger and vengeance, you would have to address Elgar'Nan, but he is beyond your reach at the current time." 

Sadness flashed across his features. 

"Do you really think me so changed just from finding out the truth? That I am somehow a different man just because I know my real name?"

[tevinterxredeemer]

Yes, and I can honestly see why he and Vivienne don’t get along. Personally, I’m not all that massive a fan of her. I think Dorian really only gets along with her as well as he does because they’ve both had privileged lives and she’s the only one who really “gets” his frustration with the lack of the trappings of a noble’s life that he’d been used to until joining the Inquisition. Just my opinion, though.

I think Solas reminds Varric too much of Anders, maybe? That sounds feasible.

They really do. It’s a complex but necessary relationship for both of their developments. Dorian needs to see the things that are wrong with Tevinter- aside from the wrongness he already sees- and Solas needs to see that not all humans (or even Tevinters) are the same.

Omg, Fenris and Dorian is a trainwreck waiting to happen. They’d butt heads even more than Solas and Dorian do- and with even more viciousness that Vivienne and Solas do. It would be one hell of an explosion- multiple explosions, most likely. They’d be civil if someone *cough*Hawkeand’Quisi*cough* forced them to, but  the instant they had any opportunity they’d be butting heads and verbally tearing into one another.

Dorian might be willing to try to be friendly with him, at least mine seems open to the idea of trying to talk to a Fenris, but even Dorian’s good nature only goes so far.

[fenharillen]

Solas isn't anything like Anders, but I guess that's possible. I know it bothers Varric that Solas likes spirits so much, probably because of Justice, and that's why Varric wants Cole to be human. Varric's opinions of Cole really bother me, but that's a discussion for another day. Solas wouldn't have blown up the Chantry because that was a terrible solution to a problem that could have been solved with cloak and dagger lies and diplomacy, which is SOlas' specialty anyway. I can see why Varric would feel that way on the surface, though. 

Dorian is a very good person. If he weren't that and intelligent, Solas wouldn't bother him. Fenris doesn't... He has very severe PTSD, and I understand why he would treat Dorian the way he would be probable to, and Dorian would for sure say insensitive things to Fenris, but that doesn't mean Dorian deserves to be treated like slime for something he can't control. Their relationship woudln't be edifying because Fenris isn't capable of self control around anyone who even smells like the Magisterium. 

The point of Solas' character was to be subtle. A lot of his growth happens through banter. You see the affect he has and the way he is affected by the people he associates with. It's important to the growth of his character to interact with people like Dorian and build friendships with them. 

[fenharillen]

"He is rather surprisingly intellectual for such a lummox. I must admit, he's shattered a few illusions of what I was always taught Qunari are like."

"I’ve always believed them to be more intelligent than they believe themselves to be. I hate the Qun, and I do not understand why anyone would practice a religion that involves selling your freedom of thought." 

[fenharillen]

"I could see the Inquisitor doing that, actually." He laughs at the mental image. "According to dear Krem, Dalish does it to him all the time- with her bow, of course. He says it's the only way they ever get him to bathe."

"Yes, of course, with her bow," Solas smiled and shook his head. "And I… yes, the Inquisitor would do that. I am not that foolhardy, though Bull doesn’t seem to mind when I beat him at chess."