warm

Love Begins

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Sweet Seals For You, Always

Origami Around
đȘŒ

if i look back, i am lost
Peter Solarz
wallacepolsom

â

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
Stranger Things
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
I'd rather be in outer space đž

shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap
$LAYYYTER
No title available
we're not kids anymore.
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
taylor price

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@ferinahtejada
warm
blue
blood and peace and war and harmony
geometry
truth
Change
But as the days go by,
and all the leaves fall,
and the wind becomes strong,
and the sun has gone,
I as well wonât be the same anymore.Â
Long Live
There it is again --the shadows surrounding the lamp post. I couldn't tell where it is exactly but it's somewhere out there, crawling. It's slowly eating me alive as I feel it getting closer. The darkness starts to engulf me, and drowning me to void.
I can see it now: my fears, anxieties, and insecurities affecting my self-esteem have been in my life for god knows how long now. I can't remember when and how it started. It's like I just woke up one day with all these dark, insecure thoughts plunging on me like a hot meal. I couldn't think clearly, I get impulsive, I misunderstand people a lot, and I let go of the things that actually make me happy. For years I've been trying to find a solution. I even went to see a doctor. It worked. Or so I thought.Â
I resent every compliment that comes my way, I don't even know why. I push away all the good stuff.Â
Maybe I'm just afraid to feel genuine happiness. Maybe I got so used to the feeling of emptiness and loneliness that I start to cling onto it. Or maybe I just haven't found myself.Â
But whatever it is, I couldnât wait for it. I couldn't wait to smile, to breathe, to love, to live.Â
To live. I couldn't wait to live.
No Endings
I don't even know where to begin.Â
Should I start from the very beginning? Or just explain the situation I'm in now and then gradually tell what happened before that?Â
Should I start from the night you invited me over to watch a musical? Or should I jump right in on the first morning you texted me 'good morning'?Â
Should I start with how I'm becoming uninterested now? Or should I tell first how I told you I like you?Â
I don't know where to begin because even us didn't have any significant beginning. We're stuck nowhere and pretend we're okay with this kind of set-up. And mind you there are no endings. We'll just be off to different paths. No labels, no goodbyes, no endings. Just us, slowly fading away along with the clouds around us.
Lire le premier mot de chaque paragraphe
Don't ever hate the heat-- Â
Instead, love the breeze in summer trees,Â
And the fiery sunsets at the sea,Â
And the ice cream we had that melted in minutes. Â
Know that the winds are with you,Â
Guiding in every episode of your blues.Â
It'll try to make you smile until you do,Â
And it won't ever leave you, it's true.
If you ever love the rain,Â
And the way it hits at your window paneÂ
Then it's time to get out of your cageÂ
And love the one who loves you instead Â
You will never know when a rainbow will appearÂ
And when it does, the fearsÂ
And the color in our tearsÂ
Will eventually searÂ
Notice how the waves crashÂ
Some come by in just a rushÂ
And some even leave a gushÂ
Would you still risk and catch? Â
But when the winter comesÂ
Equipped with their frozen gunsÂ
Do not be afraid to jumpÂ
For I told the blizzards to warm you up Â
I could use everythingÂ
Related to nature, that is.Â
But the hope of you getting the idea of all this,Â
Remains as small as a fling.
Like the birds in the skiesÂ
Or the shells in the seas.Â
What about the insects in the trees?Â
Or even the dust in the sheets? Â
You would never notice withered leavesÂ
But would always comment on the heatÂ
You would never notice where the sun and the moon meetÂ
But would always want someone you could never reach.
unparalleledÂ
orange and darkness
plaid
high
Cold showers and questions
I sit naked on the bathroom floor. I forgot to adjust the heat to my shower so the cold water pours on me. But I couldnât feel the cold, not even a little bit. I focus on the drops of water running through my hair and falling onto the cold tiles of my bathroom floor. I focus on how fast they come and how fast they go, and the sound of pat-pit-pat as they hit the floor. I focus and donât feel. I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts.Â
I wonder, as the cold water falls onto my back, why on earth do I feel so sad and alone? Why do I keep feeling this overwhelming sadness? Why do I feel like Iâm constantly being left in the dark? Why do they always let go of my hand when Iâm ready to jump?
I was at a bar Wednesday midnight. I already had several shots of booze but the dizziness hasnât embraced me yet. Then someone asked me, âsaan ka nagkulang?â I was dumbfounded but I had to give them an answer since we were playing a drinking game and they were already counting down.Â
âFive... four... three...â
âHindi naman talaga ako enough âe.â
I laughed after those words slipped off my tongue. It was humorous at that time because the truthfulness of my answer hasnât sunken into me yet. I try to focus on everything inside my bathroom, but my mind keeps finding its way back to that question. Now my rib cages are hugging my heart and soul tightly, and my arms and legs seem to be responding to the cold shower as it begins to quiver.Â
But what bothers me the most was what I mindlessly answered that night. It was almost as if an impulse. As if I had been asked that question several times before and gave similar answers. Did I feel like I wasnât enough? Do I really feel like Iâm not enough?Â
 Until now I still question myself, âwhat do other girls have that I donât?â. Am I really not girlfriend-material? Do they only see me as an option? The one you talk to when youâre waiting for someone youâre sure with? The pampalipas oras. Am I not worthy of their love? Am I not worthy of anyoneâs time? Am I too much? Am I not enough? Do I make it seem like Iâm a heavy baggage? Am I really the type of person not worth pursuing?
Or...
Am I simply not looking for love at the right places? Is it the time? What else could make my life go oh so wrong?Â
The question lingers. It pops up unwantedly, goes away momentarily, then suddenly reappears whenever it feels like it, completely crushing my soul into tiny million pieces. It creeps in the wrong places and at the wrong time. It sucks the living shit out of me.Â
Finally, I stand up.Â
I lather my whole body with soap. Then I rinse, hoping it could wash away my anxiety and insecurities just like how it washes the dirt away.Â
bloom
light me up on thursdayÂ