BUCKY BARNES ➝ gvenstacy
bucky had accepted that it would be impossible for him to shed the winter soldier. he may not have been in control at the time, but james buchanan barnes and the winter soldier were one and the same. wakanda had let him believe, for a short amount of time, that maybe they didn’t have to be. without the arm that hydra had attached to him, he felt cleaner – but it was a false sort of feeling though, an empty one – because he was alone, and he could never, even without his weaponized limb, forget what he’d done, or take it back. and it was only a matter of time before the fight found him again – and it did. the new arm was a relief, but a mild one. he was still who he was. he had to become the winter soldier again… but at least this time he held the reins.
he felt himself change when he’d met lorna dane in arcana, with a damaged arm and unsaid words – the ghost of steve’s image standing before him, fading as the unfamiliar terrain of meraviglia became clear. if his arm wasn’t attached to the remaining nerves and muscles in his body, he probably wouldn’t have felt it – but the mechanics sparked, sending painful shockwaves through his body. without stark or shuri, he wasn’t sure there would be anyone on this planet who could help him without first studying first the biomechanics and then the vibranium. it was lucky that, at the end of the day, all of it was metal, and there was lorna.
bucky decided then that, even if he would always be the winter soldier, the winter soldier didn’t have to be the machine that hydra made him. he could do good. he could work every day to be the man that steve thought he was. he held on to that thought when he a asked lorna to fix his arm rather than remove it completely.
bucky sought out lorna and dawn in the park near the apartment buildings. there was a fountain and the grassy areas were surrounded by flowerbeds; at night, some of them glowed, and the ones that didn’t were sought out by light insects. he’d made the mistake of calling them fireflies once, and was abruptly corrected by a meraviglian who’d found the name to be insulting, but he never could remember what they were really called on this planet. mostly he just avoided calling them anything out loud. he was holding a package under his regular arm – a small box wrapped in colorful paper, with a poorly tied bow (he’d done his very best). inside was a very tiny pleather jacket that had taken days to find, and not one but two new children’s books, as recommended by the arcanan librarian. when he spotted them he grinned – a soft smile reserved for the people he felt comfortable and safe around. lorna was one of the few. a surprise, really – but a welcome one.
“hey,” bucky greeted raising his gloved metal hand in greeting. the locals weren’t as disturbed by his appendage as humans often were – still, it startled a number of them. but when he approached, he tugged the glove off to greet dawn. he loved the way she smiled when the vibranium caught the light. he leaned down in front of her little smiling face and held a closed fist next to her, waiting for the fist bump he promised he’d teach her before she was two. she put her little palm over his knuckles and he laughed. “we’re getting there,” he teased, and looked up at lorna.
“i’m glad i caught you guys,” bucky said, and held the box in front of him. “i’ve been wanting to get dawn a gift, since it’s been a year here and everything,” he explained, and shrugged. “it’s not much, but… turns out i’m a sucker for kids.”
there were moments that lorna wished she could pause and live in forever – the good and pure glimpses of life that perhaps she didn’t deserve but were gifted to her regardless. watching has her daughter toddled about on unsure but determined legs to explore all of the beautiful lights the flowers and insects had to offer – it felt like one of those moments. everything seemed so much more simple right then, as if all the trouble of the past didn’t exist and the future didn’t suddenly seem so unsure.
her thoughts drifted back to the overheard transmission on communicator, the smile that watching dawn brought to her lips began to fall as she knew the possibility of a fight on the horizon. whoever sent that message was looking for war on this planet, this place that for the last year she’d let herself hope she could safely raise her daughter. the prospect of fighting wasn’t something lorna feared, she found herself in the thick of it back home until it became a normal part of life. even now, a year of peace later, she still hid knives on her as if everything could change in seconds. in her experience, that was how it usually happened and she wouldn’t find herself ill prepared.
lorna was pulled from her thoughts as dawn collided into her, landing excitedly in her lap where she sat on the grass. her attention turned to where her daughter’s was, spotting bucky’s approach and suddenly the one year old’s bouncing behavior made sense. it warmed her to see how happy dawn was to see him, and a smile made it’s way back to her expression as she looked to him. “hey, stranger – i think someone missed you.” lorna pointed out, helping dawn stand back up. a quiet laugh passed her lips as he made another attempt at the fist bump they were working on.
bucky was welcomed company, someone lorna was quick to find herself comfortable with, despite that being a rarity in her life. maybe it was because she knew the familiar look in someone’s eyes when they were trying to reconcile with their past, or perhaps it was because he was so quick to trust with something as important as repairing the mechanics in his damaged arm.
“you know you didn’t have to do that.” lorna pointed out, her words softer than she would have awarded many other people. “but thank you.” of course, dawn couldn’t properly say thank you yet, so it was up to lorna to say it for her as she accepted the gift. that didn’t seem to stop dawn from ripping into the wrapping paper. as she worked on that, lorna patted to patch of ground next to her, offering him a place to sit with them. “how have you been, bucky? everyone has been so busy lately with all of the new arrivals and... everything else going on. how are you making out in it all?”
