A Fern Guy

My adjective collection: Australian genderfluid zoomer planty(?)

[depsidase]

[pirateprincessjess]

“Covid game me narcolepsy” no you fucking pervert it didn’t. You’re just a weirdo with a gross fetish. Covid didn’t make you suddenly want to fuck dead people. Keep that shit to yourself you gods damned weirdo

I have type 2 Narcolepsy. Studies have shown that serious viral infections can cause people to develop Narcolepsy if they are already genetically susceptible to having it. This includes covid. That is what happened to me.

You on the other hand might want to google the difference between Narcolepsy and Necrophilia….

[junglejim4322]

I’m gonna be real this might be a contender for one of the best posts of all time im going to be thinking about the anon who thought narcolepsy was necrophilia for months

[dorothylarouge]

[girlblocker]

me if meowing was a sin tbh

[girlblocker]

& heres me if meowing was illegal

[mysonglady-deactivated20230606]

But it’s not so enjoy

[girlblocker]

so true, here i am happy and free because nobody can morally or legally stop me from meowing

[doubleca5t]

two year anniversary of my vocabulary being permanently changed for the worse

[th3-bl00d-on-yr-hands-rom3o]

my friend's band opened for The Used last night he said they talked about me, Bert McCracken knows i exist im pissing myself. The dude who sends me Gerard Way thirst edits and goes on multi hour discord calls with me played on the same stage as the fuckin used and i cant even yap about it bc no one i know is emo

[image descriptions:

first image: a screenshot of an instagram story posted by danwhitesidesdrums which consists of a photo of a band consisting of a drummer bassist guitarist and singer playing on stage with the text "salt lake city night 2 of three tonight, @ robbietheused surprised @ valhalla.band" the screenshot has been marked up in different colours with the guitarist labled "my looser emo internet friend" and the singer labled "Bert McCracken" in all caps.

second image: the group of people playing on stage, bert mccracken, labled "guy i've read gay fanfiction of", is fistbumping the band's guitarist who is labled "guy who tried to help me smuggle frank iero merch into australia through the mormon church without paying for international shipping (it didn't work)" rest of the band is labled "guys who send me memes and reviews of oreo coke (i do art for their band"

end I.D.]

[ffernn-things]

Im friends with someone Bert McCracken knows, im not quite pissing myself but this is still awesome!!!

You’ve also just reminded me I need to listen to their new track

[anthropwashere]

I'm being so real rn, you do actually, truly need this Son Lux/Woodkid crossover song to live rent-free in your brain. It will better you.

[ffernn-things]

Oh my god I love this song so much <3 you should also check out Never Let You Down by Woodkid and Elle Fanning from the same festival!!

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[lizardywizard]

i love this because it's like. why did paleolithic peoples paint the hunt. perhaps to celebrate and honour brave deeds that kept the community alive. perhaps to bring luck for future hunts. perhaps to instruct those who came after how to slay the beast. perhaps to remind us we can: that the mammoth is not unkillable.

this graffiti, too, serves those purposes!

[beardedmrbean]

[bigasspants]

stop eating gruel with the fools and come eat a leek with a freak

[madmaxyuriroad]

this post got me laid

[amygdalae]

finding out that ‘dont treat me rough treat me really niceys” is an actual lana del rey lyric and not just a funny meme phrase was damaging enough to my psyche

but then i looked up the lyrics and not only is that line directly after the lyric “drugs, suck it up, like vanilla icies” (rhyming niceys with icies) but also the first line of the song is “my pussy tastes like Pepsi cola”. ms del rey this is disastrous what are you doing

[amygdalae]

this post had femcels telling me to kill myself

[knightowlet]

Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

[frnkieroismydaddy]

Oh my GOD

[rimonoroni2]

tomboyism is so funny to me. gender non-conformity for girls is acceptable for like two minutes between the ages of 8 and 10. beyond that it’s appalling and you’re a freak but for those two years…… they could’ve had it all

[servuscallidus]

I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself

[bunnymedley]

did u see them btw...

[bunnymedley]

they cast a spell to ward off evil

[fluorescentbrains]

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

[girlmostlikely]

This is insane

[the-prophesied-disco-gay]

[mildlyautisticsuperdetective]

the podcast ‘endless thread’ did an episode on this called ‘catfish for dinner’ where they investigated the origin of the story! tl;dr a tiktoker who posts fake drama stories made it up for clout and it’s based on nothing.

[gorefudge]