I NEED A NEW BRAVERY.

north. queer. scholar of asian characters. it doesn't feel like a time to write when all my muses are begging for their lives. pendulum_north on ao3. blog nav

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

having exclusively lesbian friends is so funny because I get the range of “even with race and class being extremely salient axes of oppression, all men have access to social capital that is out of reach for non-men and the first step to dismantling heteropatriarchy is through the acknowledgement of that” to “well I just don’t think men are ensouled”

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in life one must strive to operate with a degree of blind optimism and hope found only in late night decisions to move freezer meat into the refrigerator for cooking the following day

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sometimes a piece of media or book will crawl inside you and die and fossilize there

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I see both sides like chanel, see on both sides like chanel

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not on blonde but chanel really is thee brutaliakhoa song ever… #whoremembers……

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blonde by frank ocean ten year anniversary.. happy birthday bisexuals everywhere‼️‼️

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it’s Wednesday. keep your wits about you.

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“dishonest people should not in academia”. no one should be in academia. end higher education.

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when you start to like an album more after listening to it multiple times like turning a pearl around in your mouth

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WRONG GIF…. but sure yea falling in love with new-old music that makes you feel like you’ve done a fresh line

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

when you start to like an album more after listening to it multiple times like turning a pearl around in your mouth

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

my harried thoughts in the last post was brought up bc today I was reviewing the author contributions section for my manuscript and saw the visiting scholar I was supervising put herself down as the one who did some key experiments + imaging + manuscript writing (basically what I did). I had a talk with her and edited her author contributions so that she could still get some credit from this program. But genuinely racism bleeds through the cracks of everything.

Misrepresentation happens in big and small ways everyday in academia and it’s “interesting” how we only ask questions when the culprits in question are not white

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

the late prof. Jason Arday exposes how academia and higher education continue to be vitriolically racist and specifically anti-Black. every single Black academic is hypervisible and always liable to answer to anyone who “is just asking questions” that seek to cast doubts on your accomplishments, no matter if the evidence is circumstantial at best or not, and that witch hunt is going to stick with you for the rest of your career, making you less employable and less likely to be selected for the tenure track

in the accomplishment escalator/hamster wheel that is higher education which prof hasn’t been less than truthful on their cv or how they present to the public eye? esp when clout means more funding, either from your university or from federal grants. white academics plagiarize and falsify data all the time to epic proportions without being called into questions, where is the inquisitive crowd there? one in recent memory is marc tessier-lavigne who was found to be directly guilty of research fraud and data manipulation and still was allowed to keep his tenure professorship at stanford (even after resigning his presidency at the uni)

I guess what im saying is that higher education and academia that tout diversity and the excellence of their faculty incentivizes people to misrepresent themselves in one way or another, and the fact that the institution again and again demonstrate how willing they are to turn a blind eye to their white scientists doing this while leading huge spectacles for Black and Brown academics, demonstrate just how racist to the core academia is

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

the earliest albums in a band’s discography that are in a completely different genre than their most recent work is also a dead wife

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muse’s new album… close enough welcome back black holes and revelations (2006)

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overspelling words are so fun….. like tee bee aytch… woagh… or perhaps the elusive eauxkay

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putting on music is like a hard restart for you start a new task. my brain chemistry is balanced and normal.

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

sometimes being grateful that you didn’t kill yourself earlier in life can come with mundane sensations. the lukewarm and frankly below average water pressure of my shower head. being slightly sick and drowsy on the train. running your finger over imperfectly cut book pages while trying to concentrate on the words.

there is nothing after death, just a darkness, an abyss. and how fortunate am i that though i feel trapped in a bottomless pit where sometimes the sky is but a pinhole of steel grey in the distance there are still sensations to be had. things are happening to my body and i am exerting change on everything else around me.