local elementary teacher seeks sanity @finncunningham - Tumblr Blog

Cardelle couldn't help but chuckle, head falling forwards a little so that their foreheads touched. "Yeah you did," he laughed again, "don't be sorry, it was nice. Real nice." And it was. God knows how long he'd been waiting to make a move with Finn but waiting for the other to express interest first. Something was different about Finn, and he'd been happy to wait.

"Do...you wanna do it again?" He was smiling, a glint in his eyes that showed he was more than eager but it was Finn's call. "We don't gotta do anything you don't wanna. But I really want you to kiss me again," his hand came up to brush against Finn's cheek, other hand coming down to rest back on Finn's thigh. "Again and again."

finncunningham

finn breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't got the wrong idea. he joined in with the laughter in disbelief that he'd finally made the jump. it had taken him so long and it paid off. he held onto cards shoulders, hoping to keep himself grounded instead of floating away to cloud nine.

he hadn't expected the question. he had spent so long preparing himself for failure that he didn't think of the other option that card wouldn't be against the idea. card's confirmation gave him some more confidence to answer "i-i want to do it again" he nodded, hands moving to hold card's face to pull him again "again and again...if you'll have me"

#c; card

oxtofmydcpth

In Card's mind there was nothing Finn could do that would be considered dorky. He read books, so what, that was cool these days, and it helped him to educate kids, which was also cool. As much as he probably shouldn't, Cardelle really did think Finn was cool.

Still, he wasn't convinced that Finn was okay, given the intense beating of his heart, and Card was already primed to leap from his seat, Finn in his arms, and carry him to the closest medical person, whether night was approaching or not, ghosts be damned. Although, maybe it was Card who'd need the help, Finn coming in close and pressing his lips against Card's, and it genuinely took him by surprise. He'd wanted to do this for so long now, sure, but he'd been waiting for Finn to make the first move; Cardelle Coulson was very sure of himself and what he wanted, but Finn Cunningham wasn't.

The first kiss had been initiated now, and Card rolled with it, one hand coming up to rest against the back of Finn's head, keeping him gently in place so they could continue. Card was eventually the one to pull away first, a dopey smile across his face. "You...just kissed me."

finncunningham

there was a strong chance that finn may blackout from the stress alone of the situation. he was already anxious and overwhelmed, and he was still uncertain how card would react to the abrupt kiss that was sprung on him. his brain was in overdrive and he was sure card could feel his heartbeat threatening to burst from his chest.

when he thought card was going to shove him away, he felt the hand on the back of his neck pull him closer. this was good. card didn't hate him. he was smiling. "uh- i- yeah i-i did" he stuttered his way through his answer. "sorry" he apologised on instinct.

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#finnmirror

oxtofmydcpth

"Of course," his smile was bright and genuine. It was almost expected that the significant others of the various members of Card's friendship group would at some point become integrated, not as much as the core members for sure, but they could appear at a meet up and nothing would be awkward, welcomed with completely open arms. Finn would be the same, Card would make sure of it. "I always introduce the important people to the other important people." And right now, Finn was important. The most important.

Card's hand remained against Finn's chest, not wanting to move it for the moment, especially when he felt the beating increase. "Your uh...heart's kinda jumping right. You okay?" He could guess the answer but didn't want to, didn't want to say something stupid and get it wrong, but his own heart was doing the same, beating fast to the point it felt like it was climbing up his throat. Nervous. He hadn't been this nervous in a long time, and he wasn't sure why, not completely. Something about puzzle pieces. "You won't ruin anything," he said softly, wetting dry lips with a gentle swipe of his tongue, letting them set into a smile "I promise. Just...do what you gotta do right? I'm not going anywhere. When you got me as a friend, I'm a friend for life. Like a Labrador. Or if you don't want a friend or...like...whatever you want...okay?" He finally took his hand from Finn's heart and rested it on top of his hand. "I'm here for you. For whatever you need."

finncunningham

he'd gone his whole life so far without being told that he was of some sort of importance to someone, it was why when card told him that he was important to him that finn had looked so caught off guard. he could've cried at how genuine card sounded. "if i ever get to meet them i'll try not to be dorky" he smiled followed by a laugh. he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of card or his friends.

feeling cards hand on his chest only prompted his heart to race faster. "uh-wha- yeah, i'm okay" he sounded unconvincing, stuttering through his sentence. this man was stressing him out. something about card's reassurance that he wouldn't ruin anything had finn feeling a little braver. everything card was saying had finn thinking that he was found out, that maybe card had figured out he had feelings for him. it was now or never, he couldn't chicken out again like he'd done all the previous times. this was as much a window as he was ever going to get. finn scooted forward in his seat, closed the distance and sealed his fate.

#c; card

oxtofmydcpth

Cardelle smiled. Watching it via video wouldn't be the same, not when he could have been there, in person, in the thralls of celebration, and it saddened him to think how he was yet to organise any kind of party since being here. Maybe he'd ask Teddy to take over the restaurant for a day, for something. But Card was getting distracted now, missing the point completely. "Yeah, I'll ask him about it when we get out of here." Because Finn would watch the wedding with him. That was a given. "I hope you like my friends," still talking as if it were happening next week or something, "they're a bit full on, but they're really cool."

Card looked up at Finn, their eyes meeting, and he listened. "Not the shape?" He swallowed, breath catching a little in his throat and coming out wavered and jittery. "I think I get it?" His head hurt if he thought too much, but he could understand the feeling in his chest, and he pressed his hand to it, his pulse beating quicker than it normally did, like he'd been exercising but hadn't. "Is it here?" And he moved his hand over to press it against Finn's chest now, gently resting it over the spot where Finn's heart was.

finncunningham

card was always optimistic about getting out of town. if he had any doubts about the possibility, he never let out a clue to finn. finn hadn't lost hope but he didn't exactly carry it either. he was content to live his life to the best ability he could in town and if there ever came a day where everyone got to leave then that was a bonus. "you want me to met your friends?" he asked a little surprised that he was considered cool enough to meet card's friends "i mean i'd like to if we ever got the opportunity."

the moment he locked eyes with card he felt like he was under a spotlight. his first instinct was to run, however in a moment of bravery, he stayed still. he shook his head "no, not the shape" feeling card's hand on his chest sent his heartbeat into overdrive. he was panicking and he didn't want to mess this up. it had taken him long enough to get here. "y-yeah it there. it's always there. i don't know what to do with that feeling and i don't want to ruin anything. i've never had to navigate this before."

#c; card

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oxtofmydcpth

There was a glittering that came to Cardelle's eyes the more the prospect of showing Finn the world crossed his mind. Sure, he'd suggested Miami and the beach, but there were other places too. Paris. London. New York. Mountain tops and national parks and places that did safari tours. "I mean, it's sad thinking about what I've missed, especially Taz getting married 'cause the bachelor party was so good up until I ended up here. But I keep saying everyone that saw me got a good view," and he still had that gold thong stashed away somewhere safe. "But like...I know going forwards, getting out of town when we can, there's so much shit out there still to do." He smiled, his free hand coming to rest a top Finn's, "yeah...and I wouldn't have met you either."

Finn was so easy to talk to, despite how clever he was and how unclever Cardelle appeared in comparison, but somehow it never made Card feel dumb. He chuckled. "I'm not a very good puzzle piece, but I suppose my head and shoulders have that puzzle piece shape," his brows knitted together, a deep thought picturing the shape of a puzzle piece, and how the little knobbly section would have been his head. "And I'm not complicated," he added, tapping his temple, "not much to work out y'know?"

finncunningham

his dad used to always say 'it's the hope that kills you' and maybe he was right. now that seeing the outside world with card was an idea on the table the thought of that never becoming reality had him feeling the weight on his chest. "maybe your friend got a videographer for the wedding. i know it's not the same as being there but you could at least be able to watch the wedding." he offered as a consolation. he chuckled at his comment of everyone getting a good view of him, it sounded like it was a bold arrival into town for card. the words stuck in his throat when he felt cards hand on his.

whatever he planned on saying had long died in how brain and now his mind was frantically searching for words that would explain himself. "i don't mean puzzle shape, card. i mean you in my life. you've become an integral part of it, and since i met you i guess i've been figuring things out that i needed to but i'm not sure if i ever would have if i hadn't met you. this feeling, it sits in my chest and i never know what to do with it and then when i met you it all sort of started making sense..."

#c; card

oxtofmydcpth

“Well we can have an eternity sunburnt together. I love the sun. I miss the sun,” he smiled, “when we can get outta here I’ll take you to the beach, a proper beach like Miami or something.” Maybe it was stupid planning a life outside Huntsville, but despite his slowness sometimes, Card couldn’t help but stay positive where he could, optimistic that the future would be as full of fun as the past few years had been. He smiled again as Finn gave his hand a squeeze, and he reciprocated, holding it tightly and not letting go of it. “It’s fine, it’s just hard y’know? I just feel like I’ve missed so much being here, but that was my own fault. I was the one that got blackout drunk and ended up here.” He paused, head tilting to face Finn again, “but maybe it’s not a bad thing? Being stuck here?”

Watching Finn struggle over things wasn’t a new thing, Card was used to it now, the nervousness and the uncertainty that often ran through his head, but this seemed different somehow. It seemed like he genuinely couldn’t work out his own thoughts, confused by something, conflicted against something else. Card could relates; that was how he felt most days. He continues to play with Finn’s hair, hoping to ease any stress he was experiencing. “I’m here man. If you need help with the pieces. I ain’t really good at puzzles but I can like…hold them or something while you work it all out?” He smile widened, eyes glittering as he kept staring at Finn. He’d hold those pieces as long as Finn needed him to, help organise them if he could. It was getting to the point Card would do anything for Finn.

finncunningham

finn smiled at the idea of life outside of huntsville, getting to take a trip to somewhere like miami and seeing a beach with card. "i'd like that. i've never seen anywhere other than here. i don't remember much of life before huntsville, i was too young when my family moved here." he didn't remember much of his family either, if it weren't for his uncle he would know anything about them. "i'm sorry you've missed out on your life outside of here with your friends and family. having a night of drinking doesn't mean you deserved to end up stuck here." he looked over to card and gave him a smile "yeah? maybe not. i mean if we weren't stuck here i wouldn't have ever met you"

he hated not being able to figure something out and this had stumped him the most. how was he supposed to explain it? he had the answer right in front of him and he didn't know how to express that. cards fingers in his hair was soothing, it calmed him down and pulled him from the edge of panic. finn closed his eyes to savour the moment before he would blow it up. "i mean...you're part of the puzzle"

#c; card

oxtofmydcpth

Card chuckled again, childishly, "I think the red would fade off you eventually. But we could be the lobster squad if it didn't. I'd go out in the sun a lot so we matched." It seemed like a fun thing to do, a way for Card to show off his body and for Finn to not feel so self-conscious in his complexion. Besides, being in the sun was preferred to water that stung the skin, right? Like what? He hadn't expected to be pressed for an answer, and he shrugged again. "I dunno man. My head doesn't get screwy often. But I got the restaurant and Teddy to think about. I got people that aren't in Huntsville that are probably worried about me 'cause I missed the wedding. I got-" he paused, turning his head a little. "-you. I worry about you, sometimes." And the he sat forward, grinning, "but that's like everyone I care about y'know? Perspective on people that are important, and I said you 'cause you're y'know-" he motioned towards Finn, "-here, with...me."

Again, Finn's perspective towards the children of Huntsville was welcoming to hear, and Card agreed with him whole-heartedly. Childhoods shouldn't be ruined, no mater what was going on in the world around them. As Finn patted his leg, Card's hand came down, fingertips resting against it gently, his other hand still idly playing with Finn's hair. "What are ya thinkin'? Where's your head at?" He could see the cogs turning in Finn's brain, and the guy was so smart, he had to be thinking of something."

finncunningham

"the last time i got sunburn, it felt like eternity before it faded" finn laughed at card's promise to go outside to get sunburned as much as finn would. the thought of the other shirtless and sweating didn't run through his head on a loop. he could feel the stress radiating from card and it wasn't a sight he liked seeing. finn was the one that was usually a ball of anxiety. he gave card's hand a squeeze to let him know he was there for him. "i'm sorry. i can't imagine what it's like being stuck here when you know you've got people on the outside. i don't have people outside of here, i grew up here, but i do have people here i care about...yourself included"

card was right, this town put everything in perspective and it forced people to look at what they really valued in life. "i-i don't know" he mumbled, distracted at card's fingers in his hair "i guess being here makes you think about everything, makes you come to realisations quicker than you might have if you weren't stuck here, getting burned by water or avoiding the ground swallowing you up." he looked over at card "honestly, i-i feel like my head is all over the place. i'm trying to figure stuff out but i don't know if all the pieces fit"

We’re okay. Sometimes that was all he needed to hear. He couldn’t be optimistic all the time, as much as he tried and as easy as it was for him, sometimes the outside influence helped a ton. Finn helped a ton. “Let’s agree not to be lobsters, yeah,” he chuckled, and he grinned. There you are Card. He leant back, a little more relaxed than he had been since arriving at Finn’s place. “I dunno, lots of things, I think?” Which made a change, “I guess all the shit that happens puts things into like-“ he tapped his forehead, and in slow motion pointed forwards, “-perspective, right? Makes you think about what’s important.”

Again, he gave a small laugh, a slight blush coming to his cheeks as Finn recounted the day at the restaurant. "To be honest, I was just trying to look busy to impress you. Most of the time I feel like I just walk back and forwards and smile at people." Everyone else there was definitely more experienced than him. "I think you're doing right by them," he comforted, "they're kids. Isn't the main thing letting them just be kids, no matter what's going on? At some point they'll realise the shit they're in, and they'll look back and be glad that someone just let them exist how they wanted to. Fuck knows I wish I'd had a teacher like that." He looked at Finn, getting lost in those caring eyes. "There's no point making the world horrible on purpose, if they feel like it isn't."

finncunningham

"we're okay" he repeated to reassure him. "agreed, no lobsters. i don't think my irish skin would recover from the red anyway" he laughed. seeing card visibly relax had finn allowing himself time to breathe. "like what?" he asked, hoping it would act as some distraction to keep their minds off the latest trauma in town. he nodded and let out a hum in agreement "you're right there. it gives you a harsh reminder that time isn't infinite here and anything can happen"

he raised an eyebrow, surprised that card would go to such effort to begin with "you never need to worry about impressing me, but if you need confirmation for the record then consider me impressed. you nailed it" card was impressive all round. he struggled to figure out why card would want to be around dorky him. "some think it's easier to prepare them young but i can't do it. they know the dangers but i can't ruin their childhood" he felt validated that his approach to teaching wasn't as naive as he worried. finn gave card a pat on the leg, he stared back at the other in awe. he felt his brain buzz like he just got a fresh hit of dopamine just from looking at the guy and his chest feeling that wave of adrenaline that washed over him whenever card was this close. he wanted to say something, he had tried before and by the time he had mentally hyped himself up enough, he chickened out. he couldn't keep this up, it was going to end in tears. likely his.