love will fuck you up more than drugs ever will
i have yet to take a drug that made me go as insane as she did
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@finndanvers-blog
love will fuck you up more than drugs ever will
i have yet to take a drug that made me go as insane as she did
I…I’m just worried about some stuff. I’ll be fine though, Finn. Really I should be asking you how you are.
Well, yeah, we’re not really that close but -- you can tell me if you need to get something off your chest. I’m really the last person to judge. What is it the talk of the town? Everything is just peachy for me, you don’t need to worry, not at all.
Finn.. I am still here, I haven’t left you. Can’t you see I’m still here for you? Please, you should stop saying or thinking like that because I am never going to change my mind and leave your side. You’re trying to get better, and that’s what matters. If people can’t deal with you, then it’s only their fault, okay? You’re not bad, you just need to focus on making yourself happy. Do things that are good for you because drinking is certainly not going to help you out.. come on, give me your hand. Trust me, everything is going to be just fine.
Thanks, Sophie. I really don’t think I give you the thanks or recognition you deserve for everything you do... and put up with. Sorry I’ve just been getting in my head lately, you know. I just didn’t think one person could mess somebody up so bad -- or maybe I’m just overthinking it and doing it all to myself, you know? Like what? I don’t know anything else. This really is all I’ve ever known. I trust you, I really do, but right now, everything isn’t alright.
Very possible. He has an adorable face. He doesn’t understand, but I understand, and I love him. Okay, okay. That sounds like a plan. Thanks for helping, by the way.
How could you put me and my features in competition with a pug? Fine, I’ll cool it on the jokes and save your heart. Of course, it’s no problem. I mean searching high and low for a little pug on my day off isn’t exactly the most appealing but I’m not just going to leave you to search alone.
“No, I want to stay outside because I want to stay outside. Whether or not you’re acting like a top class asshole, that doesn’t change. If you were pissing me off that much, I would make you move and it would be highly entertaining for everyone.”
“Oh, please there are worse drunks in there every day of their lives --- though, maybe I am acting a bit more out of character than normal. Look, I don’t want any real trouble. Guess I’m sorry for running my mouth.”
“I didn’t start anything– but now you are, so please, continue. Hit me with your best shot.”
“I feel like if I do continue you’re going to claw my eyes out.”
Jude’s laugh was the soundtrack to which the woman walked away. He was finding the whole situation far more hilarious than need be, as obvious by the way he clutched his stomach. He regained some composure as he straightened up. “Once. Or twice. It’s bad shit. D-don’t try it man. Ever.”
Jude’s laugh was contagious and soon Finn found himself in the same mechanism, laughing much louder than they both needed to be. The moment passed and he raised a brow, “Never even been tempted. Just sounds deadly.”
Yeah – y-you’re right. Sorry, I just didn’t want to bother you, but I guess me failing to walk stealthily behind you is more of a bother if anything. That sounds like a plan. Any reason why you’re out here alone… and drunk?
I mean it’s good to see you now, but definitely get my attention next time -- just don’t worry about it. Eh, you know, just finishing out my usual day. Just been a long week to tell you the truth.
“What? Don’t gimme that look, I’ve been working hard all day studying.”
“That’s what they all say.”
I don’t think I have to worry about you – I know. I see you taking a road I’m going down and I really don’t want you to follow. I will worry as long as you’re my best friend Finn. –There will never be a day that I stay sober.. maybe hours but not days. I know I have a problem but I’m not ready to fix it. – Why did you think I was heading to the bar..
Look, I just don’t want to talk about me and my problems anymore. You should already know this isn’t a brand new road I’ve been tumbling down, it’s been taking it’s toll for a while --- and yet I have one bad week and suddenly everyone thinks this whole problem in my life is new. Exactly, you’re my best friend and I have to worry in return, you know. I don’t want you to think you have to hide anything from me. Come on Soph, right now, in this moment, you have the chance to walk away. You can take me home and you don’t have to come back here --- I already fucked up but you can do it. I know that I can’t... force you to stop, I know you can only stop when you’re ready. But even if I feel that I can’t help myself, I can at least sleep better knowing I can help you when you need it.
indiwilliams:
“I can make up a lie if it makes you feel better!”
Normally I’d say yes, but nowadays I’m just a little bit sick of lies. Kind of make you feel shittier than before in the end.”
“Maybe you do. After all, you did break the pact.” Phoebe noted, her drunken self a little hurt by him breaking it, even if she had broke it a few weeks of total soberness and trying to be better. “Honestly, I thought you were just a gentleman Danvers.” She raised an eyebrow, a little hurt by his shady comments but she pushed them off–not wanting to spoil this. Not wanting to spoil some serenity between them. As his hand slipped into hers, a small smile appeared and as he tugged her, she stumbled, “God, you’re eager,” She joked letting out a teasing grin to make sure she was joking. When they reached his apartment, she just followed him, not wanting to outstay what they had. Following him into the kitchen, she bent down the cabinet and grabbed the bottle “HAHA! Here it is.” She blew the dust of it jokingly and took two tumblers out, sadly knowing where everything was. “A drink for you-” She passed over and then started walking around his apartment. “Glad to see there’s just you in here..” A form of envy in her voice, to be honest–if he had moved on, she would get over it. But not quietly, nothing was ever quiet with Phoebe.
“Well I usually don’t suck at promises like that,” he shook his head, laughing it off gently. Of course Finn was normally great at keeping promises, but a promise to keep him away from something like alcohol was a promise that he obviously could not keep. It was always the alcohol that was able to keep him away from drugs, but as of late even that seemed a little too tempting. “I am,” he pointed out, “How am I not?” He challenged playfully. Maybe he really was showing an undertone of rudeness, and yet he’d just continue to blame it on the alcohol that was stocked up in his system. “Yeah, yeah, shut up Phoebs,” he rolled his eyes at her joke, glad for the comfort of just holding hands and yet the nickname that so easily rolled off his tongue in the past felt a bit foreign now, weeks later. Reaching his apartment seemed quicker than usual, the time seemed to pass quicker from the intoxication both of them were in. Of course he led them both straight to the kitchen, slipping off his jacket to place it haphazardly on the singular chair at the table. He turned as she pulled out the bottle from the cabinet and his heart sunk now, letting the feeling sink in that she was actually here with him in this moment. He let out a chuckle, grabbing the glass from her fingers, gratefully taking a sip. After all the alcohol he indulged in tonight, he really didn’t need another drink, but how could he refuse now. Finn gave off an incredulous look at her comment, masking his expression with yet another sip. As if he could have actually moved on quicker out of the duo. The silence soon became a bit too apparent so he let out a laugh, but it came out more awkward then the silence that was there before. “Always is just me,” he approached softly, his voice bearing a more honest tone.
You’re actually a scientist? Wow, you don’t meet many of those nowadays. I think it’s more a psychological study than chemical study, but it could very well be both. I’m sure there’s lots of different types of scientists that take part in a study like that.
Biochemist, to be exact. I know doesn’t really sound or look like it but yeah, guess I got a knack for this stuff. You think it’s more mental than anything?Why’s that? Just curious, been a while since I’ve had an actual conversation with anyone like this.
And you are?
You don’t know? Wow, I’m shocked.... Kidding, just call me Finn.
Three years? Wait – is that an option? I might just have to try that one out… I really shouldn’t be this lazy, doesn’t teach the little one anything good, does it? Thanks, Finn. You’re the best.
Well, not the best option, but still an option. Nope, but what the little guy doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? So long as his things are unpacked. Wow, I’m terrible at advice.
“Oh, wow… Sounds like that… yeah. Definitely a turn for the worse there. – Oh, me? I’m a… I work for… New York City Ballet. I’m a dancer.”
“Well, I’m exaggerating, kind of. The storm kind of decimated it, but either way... yeah. Male dancer? Never met one of ‘em, but I respect it. I guess it takes courage, gender roles and all that crap.”
Oh? Really? Well, I’m not drinking at the moment, but I’d love to sit with you all evening. Just you, and a very sober me. Can you imagine all the fun? Can you?
Seriously? --Why do you have to be such a dick and pull a dad move on me? Not necessary.