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AnasAbdin
Kaledo Art
Not today Justin
RMH
cherry valley forever
JBB: An Artblog!
pixel skylines
🪼
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Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
DEAR READER
Cosimo Galluzzi
styofa doing anything
Monterey Bay Aquarium
YOU ARE THE REASON
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$LAYYYTER
izzy's playlists!
seen from Bulgaria
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@first-order-cleaning-crew
Blue milk in the toilets
Sanitation department here. Whoever replaced all the water in the toilets with blue milk has a lot to answer for. We would suggest giving in your identification soon, so we don't have to waste any time sending you to reconditioning. @first-order-cafeteria, have you noticed a problem with your blue milk supply? You might want to look into that. Have a clean and productive day.
I think there should be a prize for space ball. Also, the competing team will have Captain Phasma on it.
No prize but losing team had to take over sanitation departments nightly duties for a week. And Phasma, prepare to lose.
Woooooo! General, what’s our team name?
Team Kick Ass
Clearly this is a win-win situation for us, so we’ll just sit back and watch the best team win.
what would you do if I stood outside your quarters with a boombox and played your favorite song
I would kill you.
what if i did it instead?
I would kill you, cremate you, and keep you in a jar on my desk.
What if we did it?
I’d kill you too. And I’d leave your dead bodies hidden all over Kylo Ren’s room.
That seems extremely hard to cover up, sir.
I wouldn’t even cover it up. I’d kill you and just move your bodies. Sanitation can deal with the rest of the mess.
What if we did it? Then there'd be no one to clean the mess.
General, someone drew a picture of Lord Ren and that scavenger girl on the bridge windows.
Sanitation, please report to the bridge and clean the window.
We'd do it, Sir, but whatever they used seems to be rather, um, permanent.
would you rather kiss the general or kylo
Sanitation department here. Is this a test? Well, both Ren and the General are ABSOLUTELY wonderful, they're married. The real question is whose wrath are we're willing to face for kissing their partner. We feel like Hux might be more understanding, but kissing Ren might lead us straight to our death beds. But jealous Ren seems scary, so we're just going to suck it up and kiss Ren.
Would you rather take a bath in rotten bananas or drink/eat milk curd?
Sanitation department here. If we're in a bath full of rotton bananas, we can at least cover our nose to avoid the stench, and then pop in the refresher after the fact. Milk curd sounds absolutely horrid, so we'll take a pass on that.
Would you rather lick the floor of the Finalizer clean or lick Stormtroopers's armor clean?
Sanitation department here. We're pretty sure all of the dirt and grime that gets on Stormtrooper armor ends up on the floor anyway, so we'll take our chances with just licking the armor, thank you very much.
Would you rather fart in general hux's face or projectile vomit on kylo's hair from a safe distance of 6 feet away
Sanitation departmemt here. Well, farting in the General's hair would seem way too deliberate, and we could at least play the projectile vomit off as a mistake. But then again, we'd prefer not to get force choked. Eh, we'll still take our chances with Ren. Have you seen the General get angry? His face gets all red and scrunched up and it looks like he's popped five veins, we'd rather not be on the receiving end of that.
Welcome!
Hello, and welcome to the First Order’s newest department! We are the First Order Fab Crew, and we make sure everyone knows the sheer fabulousness of Kylo Ren and our wonderful General Hux. We also spread fabulous vibes, throw parties and make sure all First Order personnel are happy and feeling fabulous. Thank you and have a fabulous day.
In case you’re wondering we got permission from Kylo Ren and no we do not use the word fabulous too much
Some of the many First Order departments for your convenience -
Human Resources: @first-order-hr Cafeteria: @first-order-cafeteria
Healthline: @first-order-healthline Security: @first-order-security-department
Legal Department: @lawyers-of-the-first-order Cafeteria: @first-order-cafeteria
Kylo Ren Damage Control: @kr-damage-control Sanitation: @first-order-cleaning-crew
The Fabulous General: @therealgeneralhux And the wonderful Kylo Ren, @imtherealkyloren
Anonymously ask me some "would you ever"s
Official Slumber Party Invite/Announcement
As you may have heard, General Hux has graciously allowed us to have and agreed to attend a shipwide slumber party.
Members of all departments, including but not limited to @first-order-hr @first-order-healthline @first-order-security-department @first-order-cafeteria @first-order-cleaning-crew @lawyers-of-the-first-order are invited.
The party will start at ten pm in the officer’s break room and slowly expand as the number of attendees increases. Unfortunately if you are on duty at this time and unable to find a replacement, you are required to stay at your post. However, feel free to stop by before/after your shift for a cookie (provided by Sanitation) and/or a chat. Hope to see you all there!
Someone cleaned Kylo's prized ashes and now he's suuuper pissed
Human Resources here. Kylo, may we redirect your attention to @first-order-cleaning-crew who we are sure will be thrilled to explain exactly what happened to your ashes. Have a productive day.
Sanitation department here. We aren't exactly sure what happened to the ashes, but we do know that we would never touch them without Ren's permission. We don't have a death wish, and we value our existence. It may help to check in with @first-order-security-department to check the security tapes around Ren's room. Have a clean and productive day.
I have no idea what a weta is, but there are ridiculously huge crickets in the refresher. They were MATING in front of me Help
Sanitation department here. There are two eays we could go about this. We could just KILL the crickets, but what's the fun in that? We'll just send the crickets to reconditioning for inappropriate behavior and indecent exposure instead. Just for the hell of it. Either way, we'll be right over to help you out. Have a clean and productive day.
It was you wasn't it
What was me?
You with your cleanliness. You cleaned it didn’t you. The ashes. You ordered them to be clean
I didn’t do anything to your stupid ashes.
Then who did!?!
I don’t know! Ask the cleaning crew!
We did nothing, please don't drag us down with you, General. We suggest asking security to check the tapes so you can see who stole them, Ren.
I'M ALREADY SPARKLING! I AM A GLITTER! I HAVE ALREADY BECOME ONE WITH THE SPARKLES!! SOON ALL WILL JOIN ME. ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN! :D
Sanitation department here. Um, @first-order-security-department, we seem to have a sentient form of glitter onboard, and we have no idea how to proceed from here. We're assuming your department is the best one to contact. Please, save us from this glittery hell. Have a clean and productive day.
first-order-healthline|| There's an infestation of Weta's a medic just found one
Sanitation department here. We know this is entirely unprofessional, but @imtherealkyloren, could you just force choke the wetas out of existence? If that’s how the force works. We’re just the teensiest bit terrified of wetas. If not we’re stealing stormtrooper armor so we can protect ourselves from getting bitten. Please, we’ll do literally anything to avoid wetas. Have a clean and productive day.
We didn't do it, we swear
Sanitation department here. @therealgeneralhux, we believe we found your datapad in the restroom, Sir. We’re sure there is some very sensitive information on it that you don’t want to get out but there’s a little bit of a problem.
Someone drew some, er, let’s just say inappropriate images on the screen, and it has proven rather difficult to remove them. We can keep trying to get it off if you want, but it seems like a lost cause to us. Have a clean and productive day.
