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@fitdaddydays
There always has to be a starting point. Today I woke up and told myself I have to do better for my son… for myself! So the journey begins Dec 15, 2024. No better time than the present:
Day 1 - 54yo 206.5lbs
Let the “fun” begin!
REFOCUS... RECONNECT... REDIRECT!!! Reclaiming my life for a better tomorrow!
Taking the necessary steps to move forward in life... one step at a time!
STRUGGLING to find my SMILE! 🥺
Adoption Gut Punch
“Hey Guys... I have something to share with you. I did cocaine last night!” Five half months pregnant... we rode the roller coaster of trying to help the day before and this is the call received. I watched the smile wash away from my husband’s face. I felt... nothing! NUMBNESS!!! A conversation with the social worker provides insights that these are classic signs of an addict and it needs to be assumed she has been an active user throughout the pregnancy. My heart just crumbled. Poor baby... she/he deserves a better beginning!
Today more than anything I know I am going to need a healthy outlet to move pass this numbness. In the past, ironically, my comfort would be found in the bottom of a bottle, but today it just seems so much more appropriate to just go out and run! 🏃🏽♂️
Adoption Roller Coaster is Real
The messages started rolling in just after lunch. “Help Me! I’m being evicted, I haven’t ate all day. Please do something!” I sat there staring at my phone... wanting to help but knowing my ability to help is/was limited by law. I sent numerous emails and made several phone calls throughout the afternoon into the evening trying to find help, but I learned a valuable lesson. You can only help those who truly want to help themselves. Miraculously monies where found, evictions were avoided and happy texts were received and even an apologetic phone call danced upon my phone. And yet the adoption roller coaster was real. Thousand miles away... I found myself on a treadmill trying to run from the coaster ride! And than there’s today... radio silence!
My thoughts keep wandering... the idea that adoption is within our potential reach has caused me to reassess my current existence. Am I the best person I can be... for a child in my everyday life... am I that role model that is appropriate for a child? In most ways... sure! I’m not a horrible person by any means but I do have the ability to be better. Well I guess any of us could claim the same, but for me, at this moment, I know I can make some changes to be a better version of me for my future daughter/son. So the transformation has begun... starting with my focus on running with intentions to add weight lifting, of course better nutrition is a necessity, but I also want to be just a better me!
Ok... one step at a time. Today it was a run in the neighborhood 🏃🏼😃
Motivation can be delivered in so many different packages... for me it came as a phone call this past Thursday afternoon. We’ve been trying to adopt for the last year and with one simple phone call we learned that we been selected by a birth mother. Of course, nothing is definite yet but the interviewing of each other now begins... time will tell if she trusts us enough to raise and love her precious baby! So the last few days as you can imagine have been an emotional roller coaster... a potential glimpse into the next 7 months for us!
So I decided that I need to use this as my spark for the placing myself on a course for a better me for future child. She or he deserves the very best version of me when they come into this world... and I intend to be that person! So follow me on this journey!
Some days the biggest accomplishment is just staying FOCUSED on the goal!
Life lessons... learn from them or be destined to repeat them!
Some days are easier than others... today wasn’t one of those days! 😔
FaceTime with my son instantly changes my mood... every damn time 😍
Take witness to the small wonders that make today AMAZING!
49th chapter of my life has begun... and although I have been planning for my 50th for the last few years, I never gave much thought to the end of my 4th decade of existence. This year is closing a chapter of my life, that has taken witness to amazing blessings and the lowest of moments. So with a new sense of focus... I intend to chronicle the 365 days of 49!
A weekend of running... but definitely needing to focus on consistency! Gotta commit!
Starting the new year off with a healthy run!
Happy New Year 🥳
#fitdaddydays #fit2019 #fitgoals