YOU ARE THE REASON
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@fkobrien
t e x t {shelley&dylan}
s: ur dick
s: ps i'm not a punk ur a punk
d: do you mean up ur vag
d: ps ur the real punk here
t e x t {shelley&dylan}
s: fiiiiiiine
s: hi babe
d: yay
d: what's up punk
t e x t {shelley&dylan}
s: d y l a n
d: why not babe
t e x t {shelley&dylan}
d: b a b e
{ don't run my heart around } shelley&dylan
A shy smile formed on her lips as she listened to the younger boy speak, her heart warming with each and every word that escaped his mouth. “Fuck, Dylan, I want all of that so much. I can’t even begin to put it into words.” The young woman was practically glowing at this point, his words igniting a happiness inside of her that was unparalleled by anything else she had ever felt.
Shelley nodded, listening to each of his words with a careful ear as he spoke. Her heart broke for him as he explained the situation. Not so much the disorders or the meds or the therapist, but the fact that it was something he felt he had to hide — from her of all people. “Dyl, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She spoke with clear sincerity. “Listen to me. If you think something like that could ever change the way I feel about you, you’re so wrong. I swear to whatever almighty power is out that there that I’ll be here with you every step of the way if you want me to be.” She placed her fingers against his chin, lifting his head so that he was forced to look her in the eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here for as long as you want me, probably longer. Don’t ever let yourself think any differently.” She smiled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss against his lips.
"I know it's nothing to be ashamed of, I just.. I don't.. I just don't want to tell people, I don't know," he let out an aggravated sigh, disappointed at himself for not being able to form the correct words. He combed his fingers through his disheveled hair, keeping his head down until she hooked a nail underneath her chin. "Okay," was the only word he could manage before their lips crashed together, letting himself melt in the all-too familiar kiss. Dylan cupped both of her cheeks this time, his body leaning into hers when he decided he wanted more. The boy pulled away after a moment, his eyes meeting hers for one last time. "Shelley, I don't... I love you, okay? A - and, I guess the only thing I can say now is that I am so proud and so god damn lucky to have you as my girlfriend now, right?" He didn't have to ask, he was sure. The label was inevitable, at the end of the day. She was his, and he was hers, and that was all to it. He wouldn't change a thing about their situation now, he could feel his insides fluttering with joy as he kissed her again, this time putting all his passion into it.
Some of the weight on his shoulders had finally been pushed off. He felt as if he could call Shelley his own way before this moment, but it felt so surreal to have it official now. There was something about it that was so different, that made him feel all the actual responsibilities of being in a relationship. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he knew it felt so much better. The dark-haired boy thumbed the line of her cheekbone, smiling into the kiss.
{ don't run my heart around } shelley&dylan
Shelley smiled softly as she saw him blush, taking comfort in the fact that she wasn’t the only one who started to feel like she was a teenager again while they were together. “We’re so screwed.” She laughed softly, closing her eyes. Shelley flipped the hand that was currently under his so that she could hold it properly. “I want to be yours, Dylan. I want you to be mine. The list of things that would drive me away from being with you is pretty damn short, Dylan. I mean, yeah, if I find out you’re a mass murderer or something I probably won’t want to be with you. But I know you, and I know that there’s nothing you could ever do that would drive me away.” Shelley hoped that he could hear the sincerity in her voice.
"I understand if there’s something that you don’t want to tell me, I get it, and I’m not going to push you. That’s not what I want. I just… I want to know if I can kiss you in public, and I want to know if I have a right to get jealous when I see other girls flirt with you, and I… I don’t know.” She ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. “At the end of the day I need you in my life, Dylan O’Brien. Whether or not we’re together isn’t going to change that, I promise.” She raised her hand and ran it through his hair in what she hoped came off as a soothing manner. “Don’t be sorry, Dyl. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you so randomly."
"Well.. I am yours, you are mine, always." He squeezed her hand. "You don't have to worry about girls stealing me away, because I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what. You mean everything to me, I know, but I want to be yours more than anything, Shelley.. God, no, this isn't your fault, baby, don't worry.. I guess it's better to tell, right? I want to be in this relationship with you, I want to kiss you in public, talk about you in interviews, Shelley, I just don't want to keep any secrets from you.. I want you to know, Shelley, it's just - this is something serious, and I just never really thought about telling anybody.." Dylan gave a small frown.
Hearing her words made him realize that maybe letting her know was the better idea, maybe their relationship was more important than some personality disorder that could actually be treated. He bit down on his lip, thinking for a second before finally making his decision. "I want to tell you.. Now it's just a matter of how to tell you, hah," he gave a weak chuckle, shaking his head. "Uhm.. I guess, earlier this year, I learned that I have anxiety and panic disorder? Clinically? That's why I've been skipping parties and whatnot. I've been seeing a therapist and I've been taking meds.. Lots of them..." He faced towards his lap again, not sure how she'd react.
{ don't run my heart around } shelley&dylan
She allowed her eyes to flutter to a close as she felt her lips on her forehead, the small gesture relaxing her considerably. “Don’t say that, please. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.” She sighed, pressing a short, loving kiss to his jawline. It was those small signs of affections they shared that truly got to her — the acts meaning so much and not quite enough all at the same time. “I know you are, Dyl. I do. You couldn’t possibly comprehend how much that means to me. Just being here is more than I could ever ask for. You’re amazing. I don’t quite know how it is that you can so easily make me feel better, but I’m not going to question it.” She chuckled softly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. You know that, right?” It was pure fact. He made anything and everything better, from the most mundane of things to the most exciting. “There’s no one I’d rather have with me right now than you.” She admitted, resting her forehead against his.
In that moment of since she stared with Dylan, staring into his eyes, she couldn’t contain herself any longer. Taking a deep breath, she mustered all of her courage and maintained eye contact with him. “Are we ever going to figure out what this is?” She asked, waving her free hand between the two of them. “‘Cause It’s confusing the hell out of me and I need to know, Dyl. Even if you flat out tell me that it’s nothing, I need to know.”
He leaned into the affectionate little movement, a smile reaching his own lips. It was the little things that comforted him, even though he wasn't the one in need of comfort. He could feel the blood rush to his cheeks as she continued on about how grateful she was, realizing that she reciprocated those exact feelings that he felt when he was upset. "I don't know what I'd do without you either," he mused, taking in the warmth of her skin as they made contact with each other.
There it was. That question. It'd caught him off guard that she'd been the one to ask him, he hadn't planned out an answer for the question. He lowered his head, his eyes staring at his lap now. "I - I don't know," he mumbled quietly, his eyebrows pulling together. Dylan knew what he wanted it to be, but that wouldn't answer the question. With her hand on her knee, he dug his fingers underneath her palm, holding it from behind. "I don't know," he said finally, shaking his head. He was still hesitant to tell her about his clinical disorders. "I - I want you to be mine, be my girlfriend, but I have this.. thing, I guess, this thing that you would need to know about before I can be committed to you, but I'm not sure if this thing would drive you away or if I'm even ready to tell you, I just.. I'm sorry.." The boy looked up at her finally, letting his fingernails dig hard into the palm of his free hand.
{ don't run my heart around } shelley&dylan
“You better have, O’Brien.” She felt a heat rise in her cheeks with the sign of affection, averting her eyes shyly. Nodding, Shelley bit her lip and allowed herself to bed led back inside the room. She gave his hand an affectionate squeeze as they walked, a smile radiating across her face. Falling down onto the couch, her body melted into his side, enjoying the warmth that was radiating off of his body and onto hers.
She loved that they could so easily fall in with one another even after spending time apart. Being in this foreign environment with so much pressure surrounding her was definitely a whole lot easier with him by her side… whether it was as her friend or God knows what else. Whatever the hell they were calling themselves, nothing made her happier than being with him. Although she knew the question was coming, Shelley didn’t exactly know how she should respond with so many emotions hitting her at once. “I’m…” She considered lying to him — telling him that everything was a-okay and it was something she had come to terms with on the time. But in that moment, staring into his eyes… she couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Pretty horrible, actually.” The brunette admitted with a sorry excuse for a laugh. Resting a hand on his knee, she stared directly into his eyes. “Thank you for coming over to keep me company, though. You have no idea how much I appreciate it, truly.”
He pulled her body towards him, letting her lean on his chest. He pressed his lips to her forehead, rubbing her back soothingly. "I'm sorry," he frowned, closing his eyes. "I'm here for you though, okay? I just.. you know, it breaks me to see you like this.. if there's anything I can do to make you feel better, Shells, I'll do it, but I'm here for you.." Dylan loved the girl more than anything, and all he wanted was for her to be happy. He understood her sadness, especially with it being /that/ week, but even the smallest smile would light his world. She didn't deserve any of it. He shook his head, "don't thank me, Shellster, you should know by now that I'd do anything for you without a doubt." He placed his hand on top of hers, his digits filling in the empty spaces between her own fingers. He never broke eye contact, her chocolate brown eyes making it impossible for him to look away.
Sometimes, he'd sit by, watching her act - and it was mesmerizing, to say the least. How she'd move so gracefully, even through the blocking, how her lips formed to create certain words, the way her voice changes according the tone and mood of the script. if you asked him to name a flaw about her, he'd come up empty. She was so beautiful, so perfect to him in more ways than one. It scared him to think about how head over heels he was about this woman. And Dylan wanted more than anything in the world to call her his. Only his.
{ don't run my heart around } shelley&dylan
The past few days hadn’t exactly been easy on Shelley. Not a single day went by that she didn’t miss her brother desperately, but it understandably a whole lot worse around this time of year. More “i’m fine”s had tumbled from her lips that day than the rest of the year combined eager to appease those who were concerned about her mental-wellbeing around this time. Easing their concerns had made her feel better, but now quite enough. The nightmares had kicked in like clockwork, and she wanted nothing more than to be home with her family. Unfortunately, that simply wasn’t an option right now, and she’d have to live with it.
The offer Dylan made to come over and keep her company was one she could never refuse. Then again, when was she ever able to refuse him? He had a pull over her that she could never quite understand nor trust; it terrified her, especially considering she never knew quite what was going on between the two of them. Staying in what she had already been wearing since her earlier shower — a pair of denim short and a loose-fitting shirt — she waited impatiently for him. The instant she heard a knock at the door, she jumped up, almost stumbling over her own feet as she raced to answer the door only to be met with a hug. Shelley smiled, wrapping her arms around him and taking comfort in the embrace. “Hi.” She mumbled, pressing her face into his neck. His presence instantly relaxed her, the fiery nerves that had been overwhelming her all day settling down to a slow burn. The girl sighed, pulling away to look at her ‘friend’ while still maintaining her hold on him. “I’ve missed you so much.”
"I've missed you too," he replied, removing his hand from her waist and cupping her cheek. He traced the line of her cheekbone with his thumb, leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth. When he pulled away, he looked into her eyes, giving a soft sigh. "C'mon, let's get inside." He found her own hand, weaving his fingers with hers as he stepped inside her place. Dylan made it straight towards the couch, sitting down first before pulling her down with her.
The boy moved in closer next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he turned his torso to face her. He tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ears. "How are you holding up?" he asked quietly, trying not to frown. He knew how much that day meant to her, and that it wasn't something that you could ever get over. He let his stiff posture relax a little bit, reminding himself that it was just Shelley he was sitting next to. His best friend, his somewhat girlfriend. The cast had made something of an inside joke about it, but when they were serious (which is rarely), they would ask the both of them why they weren't dating yet. Dylan had no answer for it. It was an odd case, he had to admit, and he wanted nothing more than to get over his fear of telling her the reason why he was being held back from actually being with her.
{ don't run my heart around } shelley&dylan
Yesterday had marked the 13th anniversary of Shelley's brother's manslaughter, and he couldn't be anymore heartbroken. Shelley had become more than a friend to him, not sure exactly what, but the strong chemistry and the off set make out sessions definitely didn't mark them as friends. She'd become an important part of his life, and he knew every little detail about her; especially those concerning her feelings about her beloved sibling. Of course, he couldn't imagine what she'd gone through, what she's still going through. The boy had a sister of his own, and he couldn't bear the thought of a life without her. It only made him look up to Shelley, for being so strong through the darkest days.
Of course, there were times that she needed a shoulder to cry on. Almost by default, it was usually his own shoulder. And he was okay with that. He wanted nothing more than to let her know that he was there for anyways, through the good and the bad. His t-shirt and sweatpants were all he needed to make the short journey. He knocked on her door a few times before it opened, a small smile across his lips and a positive facade taking over. "Hey, baby," he let out a soft breath, pulling her in for a tight hug. Every touch between the two sent him head over heels, then again, just talking to her made him happy. It was no secret to anyone that he had a huge crush on her; hell, even she knew it. But after having been diagnosed with the anxiety disorder that nobody still knows about, he was trying everything in his power to be cautious. Obviously though, that never works out well.
{ t e x t } shelley&dylan
s: love you too
s: yes please
d: mkay i'm on my way
{ t e x t } shelley&dylan
s: i'm fine, but thanks
s: i didn't really want to talk to anyone i guess
d: i understand, baby.
d: i love you, you know that?
d: do you want me to come over?
{ t e x t } shelley&dylan
s: i always do
s: i'm... dealing.
d: fine.
d: do you need anything? i heard you were alone yesterday.
{ t e x t } shelley&dylan
s: aw, i feel special.
s: no way you're getting frick fracked with that attitude.
d: you are.
d: fine, fine, you win.
d: but, hey, you okay?
{ t e x t } shelley&dylan
s: you call people you hate baby often?
s: yes.
s: i'm always right.
d: no, just you.
d: you're always wrong.
{ t e x t } shelley&dylan
s: we'll see
s: no you don't :*
s: yes
d: mmkay
d: yes i do baby.
d: no.