The Remains Of My Wasted Youth. @flawed-and-second-best - Tumblr Blog

Wake up. He isn’t the boy you loved; the boy you loved is long gone. He’s a stranger now, and you know it. You know it but you’re reluctant to accept it. He tells you he loves you, so you believe him and since you love him, you convince yourself that he means it. But just because you mean it doesn’t mean he does too. Just because you fall asleep imagining him pressed against you doesn’t mean he’s thinking about you. For all you know, he could be thinking about the girl he met at work, the girl who laughed at his dumb jokes and gave him her number and her best smile. You couldn’t even smile for him. Just because you know his favorite book and his sisters doesn’t mean you know what he did last night or last Saturday at that party. Maybe he didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to know he was drunk when he drove home, but maybe he just didn’t want you to know he was drinking with the girl you never liked. Just because you text back a few minutes later doesn’t mean that he’ll text back soon, it doesn’t mean he’ll text back at all. He has other things on his mind now, other people, and you’re not one of them. You’re not even worth a text back anymore, let alone a late night phone call. How does that make you feel? To know someone you meant everything to two months ago doesn’t spend a second thinking about you?

thoughts 10/6/14 (via depresant)

Hit me like a train

(via phucking-d0pe)

Wow…….

(via v-ogued)

italyfnf

It makes no sense you’re probably thinking. I told you it was over. I walked away, not you. So how can I be so hurt. It was MY choice. Thing is I didn’t wanna let go. But I had to. I put you first for so long. I took all the pain and hurt you caused. All the lies, all the other females. All of it. I was so focused on not giving up on you, on not loosing everything I worked hard for I lost myself. So no, it was not my choice. It was yours. You had the choice of treating me right and you never did. You had the choice of loving me and you never did. So for once I put myself first. I still get tempted to call you. I still get tempted to text you. I still burst into tears at random moments. I still get sad when my phone rings and its not you. I still can’t sleep. I’m trying to cope as best as I can. I’m trying to gain my confidence back. I’m trying to stop blaming myself for your inablilty to commit. So while you’re out living your life not caring because “I gave up” , you remember this.. I NEVER gave up. I put all my energy into making us work. I let you suck all the good out of me and still wanted to love you. I changed myself because i felt i was the problem. I took you back no matter what , and no matter how hurt I was. I loved you, and i still do . But i was hoping that if I stayed around you’d change. I was hoping you’d see how much i care. But you didnt. So for the first time in a long time I put myself first and that was one of the hardest decisions of my life so don’t you ever make me feel bad about that. Don’t you dare.

(via italyfnf)

thotclout

You never apologized to me for hurting me, but I apologized to you 12 times for being angry about it.

(via discontenting)

ohthativy

You are stronger than you realise. You are crueller than you realise. The smallest words will break your heart. You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago. People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires. You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep. You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat. You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to. Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again. Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place. You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders and clowns and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself. Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it. You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed. Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive. You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call. You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter. You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin. Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you. People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening. You will be okay. You will be okay.

(21 things my father never told me)