motherfucker!

hi i'm zoe. 20-something, bi, jew, leo. she/her. this blog has been a multifandom clusterfuck since 2010 so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ao3 ☀️ fic tag

[flawlessassholes]

Bite The Hand by @flawlessassholes

Outside, bugs swarm around the porch light. A half-moon hangs over the dark swath of lake, spider-spun white daubed across the oil-spill surface. That perfect day on the water was less than a week ago. The scabs on Ilya’s ankle haven’t even healed. He knew the rest of their lives would be an uphill battle; he just hoped they could lie in the grass for a little longer.  There’s a hitch in Shane’s breath, a catch that brings Ilya’s attention back to him. He’s seen the ice tilt, analyzed the offense, and realization freezes across his face.  The whistle blows. Ilya’s been caught.  “You don’t want to figure this out,” Shane says finally. “You want him to billet with you.”

Last season, Ilya broke his jaw. Next season, he'll break from Boston for Ottawa and a shot at making an impossible relationship work. This season, he breaks every promise he’s ever made.

(aka the sequel to Alligator Bites Never Heal)

ch. 1 🦷 ch. 2 🦷 ch. 3 🦷 ch. 4 🦷 ch. 5 🦷 ch. 6 🦷 ch. 7 🦷 ch. 8 🦷 ch. 9 🦷 ch. 10 🦷 ch. 11 🦷 ch. 12 🦷 ch. 13

shane/ilya, explicit, ongoing | banner by me | fic tag

[pensburghs]

WAR IS OVER!!!!!!!

[slutforpringles]

Daniel at Wimbledon

[brawngp2009]

the fog of war

[crankylex]

The 3 car doing 3 car things I see.

[crankylex]

THE 3 CAR DOING 3 CAR THINGS I SEE

[crankylex]

THE 3 CAR DOING 3 CAR THINGS I SEE

[crankylex]

THE 3 CAR DOING 3 CAR THINGS I SEE

[crankylex]

THE 3 CAR DOING 3 CAR THINGS I SEE

[crankylex]

[crankylex]

from @theraininspa

[crankylex]

[crankylex]

[flawlessassholes]

bro fuck this shit

[multiseb21]

they sent fernando out to start the race in his lego car and he didn’t even notice. much like when dementia patients are given a baby doll and think it’s a real baby

[flawlessassholes]

go on zak brown give us nothing

[shanepervert]

it's like nobody wants to talk about shane on his back with his head hanging off the bed getting his throat fucked these days...

[shanehollandered]

for your consideration

[shanepervert]

OMFGGGG

[flawlessassholes]

genuinely incomprehensible 😭

[yolkylemon]

💪 💦

ilya version

[creamsiclemelt]

something we don't talk enough about is the blowjob against the windows slash glass walls in the cottage episode because. man. walk with me here, hold my hand and picture it:

it's been forever since ilya's been with shane and longer since he's been with anyone, and we know Ilya's really pent up. it's not gonna be a long blowjob but that also it's not gonna be a gentle once because ilya's worked up.

he's excited. they're out in the open, with big bright windows and a whole week ahead of spending time with shane. and ilya just raised the blinds and grabbed shane's jaw and moved him where he wanted shane, kissed him like he has every right to put shane where he wants.

and now shane's on his knees, his back against the windows and ilya standing above him, one big arm braced against the window and his other hand down in shane's hair, pushing.

and shane's desperate and needy and so, so, so empty. ilya's already hard by the time shane's got him in hand and leaking by the time he's got his mouth wrapped around it, big enough to stretch his jaw.

and shane's licking, drooling, trying to get it in even halfway because fuck, ilya's big and shane had four fingers in his mouth, gagging and drooling just last night but nothing compared to ilya's cock.

and as shane struggles, above him, ilya drops his other hand too, grabs shanes head in two massive hands and guides him.

he holds shane's head still long enough to slide in deep, hear the sounds of shane's throat struggling to deal with the sudden intrusion. wet and disgusting and tied only with the sound of the final buzzer when ilya won his cup for his favourite sound.

and shane, overwhelmed and overstimulated and so full, thinks he can't breathe, thinks he needs a second, thinks he knows what he needs. so he tries to pull back and get a moment break from ilya's cock.

but as he retreats back, ilya's hips move forward and—well, there's the windows. the walls. the cool glass pressed against the back of shane's head. shane has nowhere to go, no ability to back off.

and ilya just grabs shane's head and moves it where he wants, eyes half lidded and says, "don't worry. this will be quick."

[genderkoolaid]

i am largely out of touch with a lot of stuff and dont even know where it came from, but sorry nothing said or done will make me hate on 6/7 as meme. its part of the time honored tradition of dumb jokes that exist entirely to be dumb jokes that annoy your teacher. its added to the canon of Funny Numbers and in such an unavoidable way (69 and 420 are way up there so its rarer to see them in the wild, and neither 6 & 9 or 4 & 2 & 0 are naturally next to each other when counting, but you are forced to say 6/7 before you even finish counting on your fingers, no matter what, which is hilarious). as a moral and political stance i feel its important to protect the youth's right to whimsy and mischief, for therein lies the true democratic spirit suppressed by the state. gen alpha get behind me

[canadianwheatpirates]

(XKCD 3184)

[shaneswetbrowneyes]

i actually think that what's being missed in the 'why does everyone love heated rivalry' conversation is just that it's good

it's well made, well shot, well directed, the music is interesting, the costumes are both thoughtful and subtly period accurate, the sex scenes are intentional and, again, accurate to what hooking up when you're like 18 actually feels like...the actors are of course attractive but they look like real people. the characters are varied and well fleshed out, the acting is really, really strong

so many shows and films shoot and then slot in whatever music kind of fits or could be licenced in the budget after time, but you can tell that the scenes in hr were shot with that specific music in mind. and the same intentional approach runs through the whole thing

it feels...so nice to watch a show that cares about itself

[raincitygirl76]

Nobody knew in advance that this show would become a massive international phenomenon. It was a mid-budget Canadian show (which means low budget by US standards) adapted from a Harlequin romance novel. The deal with HBO for US distribution rights was only signed a few weeks before it began to air.

But everybody involved treated it as if it was serious art anyway. Not just some little Canadian streaming show that might well disappear after airing. Based on a book from a genre that is usually ridiculed by people who consider themselves serious film people. The cast, the crew, the writer/director, the music supervisor, everybody. They all did their best work for love of the game.

[bambicoded]

shanebug multipack :)

[hvllander]

the exact moment when shane decided to be the hole rather than the peg

[cages-boxes-hunters-foxes]

Habemus Papam, Taylor's version

we were laughing but she was serious