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this is nothing but an enhancement of the person already within you. this is not to say you arenāt perfect in your own beautiful way and you need to change your whole self because youāre ānot up to parā. i make this post to tell you to never put a limit on your growth because change is constant and the smallest things make the absolute biggest difference. this is an endless self improvement journey where you will make clear of your beautiful qualities buried underneath, embody the person youāve always wanted to become, and find new lovely sides of yourself in the process.
the idea of change, even in the slightest, shouldnāt be feared but instead welcomed. there is nothing better than evolving and being a better person than you were yesterday. remember that you can change at any time. you donāt have to wait until a new year, month, or week and note that itās never too late to do so. there is no other time than now. this post will always be here for you to look back on. and of course, despite the mentions of dream girl, this post is for EVERYONE.
to start and this is very crucial, ask yourself a series of questions:
what are my deepest values in life? envisioning the dream person i desire to be, do the habits i hold support me on this journey? what are some things i need to let go of that iāve been putting off? how have i been feeling these past few months? do the people i socialize with inspire & encourage me in my endeavors?
really take your time to think about what you value, ways you can support them and analyze things in your current life.
now that youāve got the foundation, letās begin and become the dream girl you want to be.Ā
do right by you. you canāt do right by others if you abandon yourself for the sake of them.
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bring out the journal because we are going on a self discovery journey!Ā
what are your goals that youāve been wanting to achieve? start a business, do better in school and be at the top of your class, getting to places on time, be more open to meeting new people, reading more books a month, being more elegant, gentle, and kindā¦
what does the dream person in your mind look like? what habits and kind of friends do they have? how do they spend their time? how do they carry themselves?Ā
what are some things you need to let go of in order to successfully embody this person? socializing with toxic people, not having structure in the day, excess social media usage, substance consumption, sleeping in, procrastinating, victimizing, the negative self-talk, gossip, letting people step all over youā¦
what are some habits youāll need to cultivate? lessen social media usage, waking up and going to sleep early, eating healthy, exercising, picking up old and new hobbies again, more walks, starting work right away, being kind to yourselfā¦
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digital declutter: delete any and all useless apps. most of them are to be real with you. you donāt have to check your influencerās new posts and vlogs and you will be okay if you miss out on the newest internet trends. for a little more push on letting go of social media, read my post on digital minimalism here.
remember, that this is a self development journey. you canāt and wonāt accomplish the goals and habits of the it girl you want to be if youāre on your phone for more than half the day. be raw with yourself. let go of social media.
social group: really take some time to think about the people you hang around with. are they supportive? negative? do they talk bad about others? criminals? are they goal setters and high-achievers? do they support you and your goals? do they hang around with bad people?
the people you socialize with tells a lot about your character. seriously! if you hang out with people who treat others like garbage (for no reason), if THEY knowingly socialize with people who do tons of horrible things, where do YOUR morals lie? yes, they have been nice to you and youāve known them for years but that excuse begins to fade when you are striving to be a better person and morals come into play. the environment you tolerate will hold you back.Ā
donāt feel bad about doing this. i did at first but itāll go away, trust me when i say youāll do so much better.Ā
most importantly, self care: how you carry and treat yourself shows others how to treat you. once you acknowledge what you are worthy of, you will not allow yourself to settle for anything that doesnāt meet your standards and much less allow yourself to tumble back into old, unhealthy ways.
enforce boundaries on yourself and others. get rid of the habits of bashing yourself when you make an honest mistake or your work performance/grades are low, stop saying horrible things when you look in the mirror, stop complaining and staying up at night for unnecessary reasons, damaging your health, stop letting people insult you, quit over explaining yourself.
detox ending note: again, take it easy with yourself. the more you exercise and strengthen your self-discipline, the easier this detox will be for you. you can start by applying a few habits at a time until itās basically a part of a routine and go on from there but you have to remember to take it seriously in implementing it into your daily routine/life.
tell yourself that you are doing amazing because you are! you are striving to be better you every single day! how is that not admirable? you are always doing your best even if it may not feel like it.
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now that you have a clear vision of things even if itās little! you need to do in order to fully embody your dream self, itās time to put things into motion.
how can you do this? enforcing self-discipline and setting boundaries.Ā
think of motivation as a power boost at the starting line and your foot pressing on the pedal of your car is discipline, itās what keeps you going forward on your journey. motivation, as fleeting as it is wonāt bring you far but self-discipline will.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā DEVELOPING SELF DISCIPLINE
self-discipline: the ability to control oneās feelings and overcome oneās weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.
a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.
remind yourself of the life you want to live and the person you desire to be, remember that all of your desires have always been within reach. you just have to break out of the barrier youāve put up for yourself, fight through the fear and the āwhat ifāsā and just do it! the person you wish to be is already within you.Ā
thinking of and wanting to start is one thing but actually starting, no matter how small has already moved mountains you canāt yet see.Ā
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self-discipline and boundaries go hand in hand. setting healthy boundaries will shine light on the path you want to take by making sure youāre staying protected by actions made by you and other people and discipline keeps you in check so that you can go about your self improvement journey the best that you can!
overcoming the urge to wallow in past failures and instead looking forward to a chance at a new beginning.
putting yourself first. taking care of your mind, body, and soul.
getting out of bed to finish your tasks even if you wanted to sleep in.
correcting yourself when you were slipping up on an old habit without self criticism.
making sure your boundaries allow you to grow and fix them as you seek fit
learning the best ways to say no and yes
being more considerate and kind to yourself and others.
not letting futile thoughts, ideas, and actions hinder your progress.
finally putting forth projects youāve pushed aside.Ā
picking yourself back up after a difficult time even if it took a while.
more on boundaries here: BOUNDARIES 101
thinking of which times you felt down and uplifted and figuring out what contributed to those feelings. avoid habits and situations that donāt serve you and bring in more of what made you feel good about yourself and how you can further enhance that experience.
not rushing your personal journey
having a set routine. morning + night ideas.
standing firm on your boundaries
becoming a digital minimalist
identifying with old habits and perceptions of yourself
investing in your appearance (because pampering is relaxing!)
not caring about what others think of you
taking care of your mind, body, and soul. tuning into what you need and what is best for you, fully influenced and putting things into motion because itās what you truly want, not for pleasing others or trying to āfit inā
indulging in old and new hobbies every day. make it a priority!
CONTINUING TO STRENGTHEN DISCIPLINE
how do habits form? how do people get better at what they set their minds to? by figuring out what works for them and what doesnāt, what their roadblocks are and from then on, repetition and consistency.Ā
keep in mind that healing and improvement is subjective. make it work for you so that you are setting yourself up for success. take what you see from posts like these, videos, and books and refine it to make it fit perfectly with how you would like things to go.
take the habits you intend to leave behind and the ones youād like to acquire and map out how you would go about leaving the past in the past to welcome in the new.Ā
figure out what your roadblocks are. when there comes a time where itās hard to continue forward on your path, tune into your body and mind. what is it telling you? there is something that is bothering you that needs to be addressed. are you well rested? have you had enough water today? are you overstimulated? are there any illnesses that can easily flare up and be the reason why youāre feeling this way?Ā
donāt beat yourself up for feeling demotivated and unreasonably drained. most of the time, itās really not the case. you just need to figure out what is going on and address it gently and sometimes you wonāt really know whatās going on until later on and thatās okay!Ā
i would always feel drained or overstimulated with my depression, adhd, and chronic fatigue. it would cause me to flare up and enter episodes (depressive and manic). the things i would realize was that it was either caused by: an triggering/traumatic event, intense emotions that didnāt have an outlet, continuous outings. and sometimes flares up will just happen and i began to understand that.Ā
i didnāt blame myself for having illnesses. i just grew aware that what really matters is: i get through it every. single. time. and i will be okay even if i literally felt my world was crashing down on me yet again.
something that can help when dealing with episodes is that when you feel it coming on, prepare yourself so you can get through it even if it makes the experiences just a little bit better by 1%. taking a shower and brushing your teeth, cleaning up your space, gathering snacks and easy to make meals, telling a trusted loved one you wonāt be available but might need their support, trying your best to go on walks even if itās hard, putting on comfortable clothes, etc.
which one works for you? working your way up, going all in or both? it really all depends on what this method applies to. if you think changing your routine by the slightest will be a good step, do it or if you feel confident that deleting all the apps on your phone all at once is something you want to do, go all in.
keep track of your accomplishments. tracking your accomplishments will show how much youāve done and keep you on your feet! nothing beats the feeling than looking back at all the things youāve done before heading towards the rest of your goals with your head high. anything is possible. remind yourself that you can do it. sort it to yearly, monthly, and daily to do lists! itās always the best thing to look at when there are times where you donāt feel like you did āenoughā. your effort is more than enough!
and so you take a few days to rest.Ā relaxing, taking a vacationā¦ does this mean youāre being inconsistent? absolutelyā¦ not. duh? resting is being productive. putting yourself first IS self care! reward yourself with relaxing days spent by traveling, resting, going out etc. do what makes you happy and be safe. keeping a balance is SUPER important!
ātake things slow with yourself. if your body wants to rest, let it rest. let your mind rest as well by letting go all the worries of āwhy youāre not activeā. who cares if you take a slow day? do you know how much youāve been through? the least you can do for yourself is be comfortable in your own bed without a care in the world. youāve experienced enough guilt. let yourself be free knowing that you deserve to rest. you deserve moments of stillness. enjoy the now. itās all we have. weāre not always meant to be up and running. we simply werenāt made that way. there is beauty in stillness, peace, and quiet. donāt put it to shame. instead, let your mind, body, and soul experience more of it.
do things at your own pace. if you think you can get up, brush your teeth and thatās all that you can do for the day, so be it. donāt force yourself to do things you canāt handle. youāll be doing more harm than good. take it day by day. add an extra task as days go on. do something you believe will be fulfilling like going on a quick walk around the block, going to the store to get a drink, baking a treat, sitting outside for a few minutes at a time.ā
ā blushydior in be kind to yourself. healing is a journey.
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read this with conviction:Ā
āas of this very moment, i am leaving my old and undesired self behind; the past mistakes, the unhealthy habits, how i used to treat myself and the way i allowed others to treat me, and all the pain i have held on to for so long. itās all gone now. even if i may or may not have a clear vision of the dream person i am now embodying, i will remain open minded and brave into learning and growing each and everyday. i am not my past mistakes nor my trauma. iām safe and secure now. and because iām aware of my infinite power of having full control of my reality, i am rewriting my story.ā
you are not your past mistakes. you are not the negative words you have been told. you are who you want to be. everything in your world holds absolutely no meaning unless you assign it meaning thus, giving it power. turn a blind eye to things that donāt serve you, put yourself first and watch how you will bloom vibrantly.Ā
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NOTHING IS OUT OF REACH. everything you want is already within you, donāt let anyone tell you otherwise.Ā
GIVE PERFECT A MEANING OF YOUR OWN! you are still an it girl if you make mistakes, you are still a healthy, recovering person with a few very tough days this week.
always trying your best even if it doesnāt feel like it
making a mistake and learning from it
telling yourself: āi had a tough day today but itās okay! iām going to rest and take it easy. iām okay. i am always doing my best. thereās nothing to worry about. tomorrow will be an amazing day.ā
allowing yourself to cry, feel, and express your thoughts and emotions
using fear as an opportunity to grow
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā REMEMBER: THIS IS A JOURNEY
you will grow at your own pace naturally.
donāt compare yourself to others, they too had a past and obstacles to overcome (and still do!) to get where they are at right now.Ā
donāt rush into things, handling more than you could at once.
donāt beat yourself up for not knowing certain things earlier. everyone learns and realizes things differently.Ā
this is not a race, thereās no routine that is supposed to be one size fits all. this is a self paced journey. you will realize and see things at a different perspective as events unfold, you will outgrow the people around you and the bad habits as you find yourself at a more stable chapter in your life. donāt rush, donāt compare, just keep looking forward.
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i have fully embodied my definition of a dream girl/boy/person.
i carry myself with full confidence and elegance.
there is not a day that goes by where i donāt do my best.Ā
iām beautiful, intelligent, hardworking, kind, and gentle.
i am the best version of myself.
success is inevitable for me. i am successful at everything i do.
i have all of my desired qualities.
i become better and better each and every day!
my self awareness increases every second. i have the most perfect mental diet.
itās so easy for me to persist in new and beneficial thoughts. flipping thoughts is just way too easy.
i am in full control of my reality. i am fully aware of my potential and i will never let anything or anyone affect me.
āA flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.ā
ā here is the google doc (and better) version! ā
