clementine @flemishangels - Tumblr Blog

saw this and started praying

#mine #rural #small town #digital camera #digi cam #horror #power plant #electrical god #taken from a bus on the highway somewhere in the middle of nowhere

Down south. Driving around. Drunk texting. Embarrassing myself.

#mine #original pictures #photography #rural #small town #digital camera #digi cam

under construction #faith

#mine #original pictures #photography #rural #small town #digital camera #digi cam #church

Footage from tempest in my hometown

Going away at the end of the week, seeing my best friend. So stressed still about final essays and doctors appointments and birthday presents. Did I ever mention I am a terrible gift-giver? I'm really insecure about it. Anyway, this week has been hot but bearable, and I have seen my friends drunk on the street at night and held back every single thing I wanted to say about L, of whom I dream each night. Every single night. When I wake up, I think of him. I think I made him up inside my head. My friends back home send me footage of the storm tearing up their gardens, while the delta remains unmoved. Home in 2 weeks, staying nearly a month. All for L, who doesn't even think of me, who doesn't even care if I kiss him or not. It's pathetic. I wont know the truth until I see him again. Until then, I am having a very insidious love affair with idealism, and I am dreaming of him showing up unannounced and giving me that smile of his. God. Meanwhile I'm looking at the tempest through the phone screen, editing and editing and editing my essay on wordsworth. Contemplating the politics of submission, which is the underlying theme of everything I write. Confrontation summer. Praying for something good. Love, C.

#mine #original pictures #photography #rural #small town #digital camera #digi cam #horror #digital diary #journaling #journal entry #diary #storm #tempest

bleached out & mastering betrayal

After the weekend's 40°C heat, things are moving begrudgingly slowly towards certain destruction. I can't pinpoint it; it's a White Album. N stabbed her hand with a knife in her kitchen yesterday and I spent today carrying bottles of water to her apartment, along with the rest of her groceries. Now that it's cooled down I can make my bed again, and put on clothes, and laugh out loud in the hallway with my friends. Finals coming up, I'm not worried. Or maybe I am. I think I'm just really good at bridging over these gaps, if you knew me you wouldn't suspect I'm freaking out. Still thinking about December even though that was 7 months ago now. I was a different person then, and all I wanted was to disappear. What now? I have to deal with the aftermath, clean the dirt off my halo or whatever. Nightly, the only solace comes from thinking about L, the boy I left in my hometown, who likely never thinks of me. The last few times I saw him, it was almost like we suddenly recognized each other all over again. We've been friends for ages, but something changed. I think about his stupid hair cut and his eyes. They keep me up at night. Going home in August, I'm hoping he'll want to see me. Maybe I just miss the east.