[goatpolice-deactivated20250128]

[morepopcornplease]

the chaos of 2020: unimaginably painful. miserable. quite literally deadly.

the chaos of this past week: e x h i l a r a t i n g 

[recaption]

[especially]

[xicamatl-deactivated20201127]

I have to tell you about the Abuela on my street.

She is nearly 70 years old, with wonderfully brown gnarled, wrinkled hands and eyes that are creased from smiling. She hand-makes all of her own clothes and sews dolls for my little sister. Abuela is very lonely… her husband already passed and her kids live far away. She misses her grandkids. Abuela comes around our place for the company almost every other day.

So this morning, my little sister and I went to visit the Abuela to return the kindness of her vegetables with some homemade soup.

It’s a funny joke we have, that if you can make a perfect posole you are wife material. I was joking around with my friend beforehand to see if I was worthy of marriage, and my little sister thinks me failing is the best thing in life, so of course she wants to ask Abuela when we arrive.

We’re wearing masks and gloves and can’t give her the big hug like we want to, but Abuela is always happy to see us. We bring the pot of soup to her table. My little sis, the little shit that she is, immediately asks, “Abuela, is Reina ready to be a wife yet?”

And Abuela immediately shifts her entire mood. Her face literally becomes this:

Abuela’s look pierces through my heart.

“Who are you trying to impress? A man or a woman?” she asks, deadly serious. We have broached the topic of marriage. It is her domain now.

And I, Rei, gay as the fourth of July, cannot believe that either Abuela clocked me instantly or that she could possibly have a fascinating past of her own. 

I thought about lying, but my little sister was there and I don’t like to lie in front of her. So I was honest and said I was trying to impress a woman.

Without a response, Abuela carefully tries the posole. The room is silent.

“For a man, it’s good,” she says after a moment. “But, you’ll need to work harder to impress a woman.”

All I can do is politely nod. I have so many questions.

Now Abuela is tired. She wants to eat and relax in peace, so she waves us away. We make sure she’s settled, and then my sister and I go home.

I can’t believe my 70 year old Abuela said BI RIGHTS

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

this is the funniest fucking thing ever

not only did the grandma say bi rights but like

she had two separate scales of food judgement for men and women AT THE READY and there’s something inherently hilarious in “FOR MEN IT’S FINE, FOR WOMEN DO BETTER” 

[fernlom]

That’s just how abuelas are

[jawnkeets]

[heatherwitch]

Thunder: *shakes entire house*

Lightning: *illuminates night sky*

Me sitting at the window:

[livingyoungwildfree]

[bardacinderella]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[e-lodicolo]

[matialonsorphoto]

prepare to evacuate soul

more on my instagram @matialonsor

[the-winter-witcher]

Oh no...

Do you think he'd wear it in bed? 😅

[darkfrog24]

HE DID!!

“It’s not just a role to him. He wanted, for instance, for the armour to look like it had been worn for years and years. So he made breakfast in it and he would sleep in it.” (And this is a guy who literally played Superman.)

Cavill was method acting, but he wasn’t being mean or putting dead rats everywhere, so no one noticed.

[istezada]

Cavill, like the rest of us born in the ‘80s, got to watch the LOTR films as a teenager and hear about Viggo Mortensen spending the night camping in his costume on location shoots and fishing for his breakfast and just generally existing as Strider... and went “Oh. That’s cool.”

And now here he is...

[thateagleguy]

[catchymemes]

[ikilledtherpc-deactivated202011]

“terf is a silencing tactic!!!” you’re damn right it is! shut the fuck up

[boota]

americans be like its 400 fahreinrhefight and im like girl what the fuck are you saying 

[jackandniall-deactivated2021100]

here’s the link to donate to george floyd’s official memorial fund if you are able to contribute. if you can’t donate, please share. being black shouldn’t be a death sentence.