Happy birthday to my dearest black cat๐๐๐ฅณ!!! May all your world saving wishes come true, may you save the princess in the tower and gain his hand in marriage, may you spend the rest of eternity content, happy and at peace
Help me ๐ซ๐ซ, Kuyu has been edging us these past two chapters about the reveal of Yuder being Hellem's potential grandson. To think that Kishiar was trying to ease into this conversation knowing that both Hellem and Yuder would probably react somewhat sensitively to any kind new information and I'm over here clenching my fists in anguish because Kuyu wants to put us through the edging wringer ๐ฉ๐ฉ.
There's too little information regarding Pasca's (Hellem's son) little family, including his wife and child. Hellem didn't even get into Yuder's potential parents' appearances, but I was leaning towards Yuder being more similar to his mom. Not only was she an orphan, but she was a commoner as well. She rose to a position in both the Pearl Tower and even transferred over to the Royal Court Wizards through her own capabilities. There's no way she's not Yuder's mom. Their stories are too similar.
Though there was another baby involved in the list of villagers who had died who could potentially have been Yuder, that wouldn't provide enough information on Yuder's magic sensitivity. Though magical potential isn't entirely reliant on genetics, it is greatly influenced by it.
To know that Hellem remembers every single building, animal, and individual who were involved in the incident, down to the exact numbers, down to the last detail, really shows how much she regrets and mourns over her son's death. Her pride as a noble and wizard prevented her from properly maintaining her relationship with her son, and as an extension, her daughter in law and grandson. As a person who practically helped raise Kishiar from his teenage years to adulthood, her openness to Yuder being Kishiar's love interest had been surprising. Listening to this part of her story really shows how willingly Hellem accepted Kishiar's love for Yuder, seeing as her opposition against her son's relationship had been the demise of their connection. Both Yuder and his potential mother had been commoners, orphans, and of questionable reputation, but the difference in how Hellem handled each parallel shows her growth as a person as well as her immense regret.
In the scenario that Yuder is Hellem's grandson, I feel like she would have so many questions about Yuder's background. So far, Yuder had never been clear about how he grew up or who raised him to the large majority of the people in the story because his background doesn't align with his capabilities. He had been allowed to be vague about his background with some individuals such as Gino and Nathan who would typically pry for safety reasons. Hellem herself had been able to notice how similarly Yuder functions with Kishiar.
It's as if, in ways Kishiar wouldnโt, Yuder handled things in a Kishiar-like
manner. If Hellem had seen Yuder elsewhere first, she might have suspected
Kishiar had picked him up somewhere and secretly taught him. (Chp. 945)
So far, only Kishiar and Enon know about Yuder's time traveling and his main objective. In the scenario where Hellem would even question what had happened to Yuder and if Yuder is even willing to share (this is a very big IF), Hellem's knowledge regarding monsters would be extremely helpful in further delving into the nature of the world, the nature of the red stone, and in turn, the nature of Yuder's time traveling.
I bet you Kishiar would've put a ring on that finger already (and the royal family would've been more than welcoming) if marriage between Awakeners, regardless of their first gender, had been formalized already.
In fact, I still wonder if the Awakener laws that were mentioned in the chp.576-577 range have been processed through by the legal scholars. With more accomplishments stacked on the Arcane Legion's back, I'm assuming that officializing those laws wouldn't be as difficult as before. There would be some stigmatism against Alpha and Omega pairings even if these laws are passed, seeing as the general populous can't grasp the differences between the first and second gender quite yet. However, public opinion would be less harsh then, seeing at that point, the perception of Awakeners would be most likely even more positive then currently in the story.
I also remember Kuyu mentioning in the Q&A that Kishiar enjoys the lengthy and difficult process of officializing his relationship to the public, which would probably include the publicization of the Awakener laws, so that it would be normalized for him and Yuder to be together. Kishiyu currently serve as the forefront "poster children" of the dynamic between Alpha and Omega Awakeners. Even now, they don't make the particular effort to hide their relationship, but they aren't explicitly showing it either.
By purposely slipping out bits and pieces of information regarding their relationship, alongside the positive reinforcement coming from the Arcane Legion's reputation, the idea of laws regarding Awakeners being officialized doesn't seem far off. Maybe, give or take, less than 5 years? (I'm just being semi-realistic here, a law being passed takes way longer than 5 years. But this is a monarchy based in a fantasy world, perhaps it will take less than that. Who knows).
This chapter was entirely focused on delivering all the gifts the Emperor had prepared for Yuder and Nathan. It was wonderful to see the endless mountain of gifts and how bewildered Yuder and Nathan became as the Emperor continued speaking.
Among the gifts are:
A monument in La Orrban commemorating the duel and a record of the duel so that future generations will know what happened (all paid for by the Emperor and Empress);
ceremonial swords from the imperial collection;
protective gloves and belts, enchanted with levels of magic that can no longer be used today;
plenty of holy water straight from the Grand Temple;
decorative buttons and brooches with the emblem of the imperial family (something normally reserved only for members of the imperial family).
There is no way the Emperor and Empress could demonstrate more openly that, in addition to holding them in high esteem, they practically consider Yuder and Nathan as part of the family in this respect. And they are adorable for it.
The wave of gifts that continued without end finally stopped only around the point when Nathan Zuckerman's gaze had gone beyond flustered and begun turning blank.
Poor Nathan. He was suffering silently while the emperor kept adding to the list of gifts.
Receiving all these gifts would already be considered by everyone as one of the greatest honors of their lives, but it's obvious that Keillusa, as a legitimate older brother of Kishiar la Orr, wouldn't be content with just that. So, of course, there's even more to come.
Nathan will receive the title of hereditary count and lands. In other words, he will become a legitimate nobleman, just like his descendants. The lands in question are the Manteva Basin, an arid land near Peletta, chosen by the emperor both to avoid political strife and to expand Peletta's territory without opponents being able to easily start a fight. A decision that, in addition to giving Nathan more power and influence within the Empire, will also aid in the growth and development of Peletta.
And Yuder, after returning from Nerlan, will be officially appointed as the master of the Emperor and Empress (Keillusa will assume he is an Awakened), receiving the title of master of the nation, or in other words, the one who guides the heavens (yet another title for Yuder's collection). Yuder will become one of the most important people in the Empire, the person literally tasked with teaching the nation's rulers. His fame will reach unimaginable levels when this is announced, even more so if Yuder does something noteworthy in Nerlan as well.
And Kishiar, even without having received any other gifts yet, was more radiant than ever watching his beloved and his best friend receive all the recognition and honors they deserve.
And don't forget: Kiolle is present in the room, observing all of this. The poor man must be having one internal breakdown after another, overwhelmed by the countless unparalleled gifts the Emperor is handing out as if they were sweets.
Tell me more pretty please? ๐ฅบ (letters, asking from main)
๐๐๐ ok this is gonna be long but basically from my pov it's how 1tl kishiar's actions and intent do not exist in a vacuum and examining how it affects and the implications it brings on his relationship with yuder is a really interesting point that i just microwave over and over again. it's how it's easy to say that yes kishiar's intent wasn't at all to manipulate or power abuse yudrein and how it did come from a genuine yearning and love but it doesn't mean that the inherent power dynamic of commoner/royalty, subordinate/commander, 20/29 doesnt affect that relationship, that it doesnt fuck it up a lot too. 1tl kishiyu was not at all on equal terms lmao and i think that it's okay (and fun!) to put that into discussion when talking abt 1tl kishiar
CONTENT WARNING: Discussions of and allusions to sexual coercion, dubious consent, and nonconsent
DISCLAIMER: first of all, i want to say that i understand where the fandom's reluctance on discussing this and the discomfort around this topic comes from, esp for a beloved character like kishiar. it can feel like condemnation, because a lot of people for some reason think that liking a character means endorsing everything that they do. however, i do believe that there is merit in discussing this aspect to their relationship as it not only provides depth from a narrative standpoint but also that engaging with fictional media with awareness of what it can entail is an important mindset to have, and that it shouldn't always have to reflect on what your personal beliefs are. saying this just in case, but this post is not made to condemn kishiar as a character nor anyone liking him (if you know me im like Big Kishiar Fan guy here) nor will i appreciate anyone using this post in that way. please be aware of your own comfort levels.
ramble ahead >>
in your (letters) og post, you brought up the dubious consent nature of 1tl kishiyu, and i agree! it's interesting because i agree that kishiar is not at all someone who'd force himself onto another (ESPECIALLY yuder) if the other had said no, but that's the catch. on top of their power gap, we don't know how and in what state yudrein had agreed to the whole fuckbuddies thing, and frankly it's kinda hard to imagine he was enthusiastic about it considering the Incident. one would argue that yuder isn't one to bow down on nobility and would've outwardly refused if he Truly didn't want to, but I beg to differ, and I come bringing evidences. Perhaps if it was other nobles, but kishiar is evidently different in context, and we HAVE actually seen 1tl yuder being reluctant to talk back to kishiar (chap 540):
both yuder and yudrein had also always subconsciously held kishiar in a pedestal. that's why even if yuder had outwardly said yes to the whole fuckbuddies thing, i would argue that, at least from our current information, it didn't seem like an enthusiastic or healthy one to warrant saying that it was perfectly consensual. ntm the flashback scene of the fuckbuddies proposition, which while not elaborated in the novel, the manhwa made it look like it was made not long after the incident (novel 37 and manhwa 25)
which add onto the dubious pile because yuder didn't seem like he was in the position to clearly think about it, had he agreed at that moment. and i would even argue that even after that too, considering he never realized his feelings for kishiar.
yuder's impression of the fuckbuddies situationship was also never good, even after he had gotten together with kishiar 2tl. even if he did had feelings for kishiar that he didn't know of, i think it shouldn't negate the bad experience either. it'd make the dynamic of 1tl kishiyu more interesting imo with the dubious angle on top of its already tragic nature. the fact that 2tl yuder got a sense of liberty over having a semblance of choice over his sexual activities also say a lot about the unhealthy nature of 1tl kishiyu, me thinks (ch 459)
so in conclusion my take on the fuckbuddies consent situation is that it was dubious as hell. even if yudrein had secretly liked it and yearned for kishiar's affections, i still think that it doesn't at all negate the dubious nature of it, plus the power imbalance it sits on really doesn't help. sure one can argue that expression of consent in writing can be dynamic (like, narratively speaking, sometimes having that scene of a healthy verbal discussions of consent in smut can break the flow of smexy and come off as therapytalk), but considering circumstancial evidence i really do find it hard to believe that yuder would be enthusiastic about this arrangement.
next, abt the power dynamics. i've already said it but there IS inherently a power gap with 1tl kishiyu, multiple ones in fact (age gap, status gap, mentor/student, subordinate/boss) that it really is such a cherry on top to the already noncommunicative nature of 1tl kishiyu. taking from letters' og post abt it too, kishiar was also the sole source of information and mentorship yudrein received, in which information that flows is controlled by kishiar. kishiar has power over yudrein in a lot of ways, and whether kishiar truly realizes the full scope of that or not is tbh anyone's guess. and kishiar was absolutely using yudrein for his own goals, was aware of it, felt guilty of it, and continued to do it (hence the stone pieces scene). he felt fit to entrust yudrein with a huge responsibility despite their mutual noncon tragedy. they were never on equal grounds, and power imbalance is like toxic relationship 101.
and here comes my favorite part: Kishiar, specifically. because this all looks bad on paper, but we know kishiar. we know that he never intended any malicious intent and that it all rooted on desperation and love, plus his own spiraling mental health. and my take is that both of these can coexist and is also simultaenously the cause of it. this is why i said kishiar's intent and actions do not exist in a vacuum, because said actions still bore consequences despite his intent. it's Tragedy in the way that he held so much love and yearning, but in his quest to quench it he had exerted power and hurt over the very person he loved with all his being. the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and good intentions alone won't undo the harm it causes. this is exactly the point that gets me so crazy abt 1tl kishiar because??? wow his fuckbuddy situationship (that HE started) is dubious as fuck and his power imbalance (which, in kuyu's qna where kuyu said 1tl kishiar was very aware of the age gap, id assume hed know too to some extent) is dubious as fuck and hes being intentionally cruel too a lot of times, damaging yuder's sense of self-worth thoroughly and irreversibly changed him while also simulatenously holding such deep and painfully yearnful love. his extreme self-awareness and guilt about it too is so deliciously gutwrenching for me, like fuckk i eat that up so good. i speculate too that another reason why he never revealed his love overtly other than the fact that he's dying is that hed think it rlly would be insulting. imagine if your whole life got uprooted and youre being pushed and pulled around (heh) by your superior seemingly on a whim, then you were told that it was done out of love. i'd be on the news. maybe thats why 1tl kishiar never bothered with apologies either; because he thinks that it couldn't and shouldn't be forgiven, even if he desperately wants to. 1tl kishiar is contradictory especially with his genuine love and intentional cruelty. and it's exactly that side of him that scared 2tl kishiar the most (one of it, tbf) when it comes to facing the white gloves, because kishiar is self-aware and he's made fully aware that he has the capabilities of all that. that's why i truly do find takes on kishiar in regarding to the power he holds to be real interesting. ive seen a post here somewhere too pointing out that kishiar's way of playing and manipulating with people can be terrifying, because it depends on who he deems it to be deserving or not. kishiar is not malicious in nature, but perhaps its that intentionality paired with his proficiency in influencing people when he deems it necessary enough that can be scary when dealing with him.
AND NOW WE'RE BACK TO YUDER because character agency is very important here too and it's also what cements kishiyu as Very Insane to me. i've listed down the dubious nature of 1tl kishiyu's relationship, and yuder would have PLENTY of reasons to truly resent kishiar. it would be VERY valid of yuder too if he were to not accept kishiar back in his life, because despite all the reasons and love and yearning, the harm is still done, and kishiar is painfully aware of this too. but he did. yuder accepted kishiar again and even loves him even deeper. he chose to look forward despite all the trauma and hurt and embraced kishiar again, chose to understand him deeper still despite everything. this is why kishiar is so reverent almost to the point of worship. this is why kishiar felt like as if yuder was his god who gave him everything. because in his view, he really did. yuder gave kishiar everything kishiar had ever yearned for despite literally everything that happened. this is why i and you all do not condemn kishiar for what he did; because yuder didn't. that's why i think it's important to acknowledge and discuss the true scope of problems in 1tl kishiyu because it really does make yuder's growth and decision regarding his relationship with kishiar even more meaningful. that's why too i really need yuder himself to also acknowledge that instead of automatically thinking that it's his fault for not understanding 1tl kishiar enough or the like :((
so tldr, i think the dubious nature of 1tl kishiyu is important because it makes 2tl kishiyu even more meaningful and Insane (and because i feed off this kind of angst So good)
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!! Will add from chapter 926, a passage that has haunted me:
The hands that would silently retreat as if even a lingering gaze was too much to bear.
Yuder had once suspected that the man, being of noble birth, wore gloves because he disliked touching a commoner like Yuder. It was common for nobles to mix with commoner concubines without fully undressing, revealing only parts of their bodies.
Even though the man must have known of Yuder's suspicions, he never explained, leading Yuder to believe it was the truth.
During those numerous nights, Yuder experienced fleeting yet profound misery. With each physical response of pleasure, an inexplicable, clumsy hope grew inside him, one that he couldn't eradicate. The wounds to his pride, stained anew each time that indescribable thing shattered. The realization on those miserable days that the man behind him was the only chest he could lean on and rely upon. Each time, the sprouts of his withering emotions dried up.
Like this is also an incredibly horrific description. Like Yuder at one point seemingly was under the impression that he is, essentially if I'm allowed to exaggerate a little, only slightly more convenient than a sex worker. Someone to fool around with, but not even a fuck buddy in the positive sense of mutual release, more like someone starving for affection and being utilized instead.
AMAZING addition ourgfhgfh because even with the consent issues aside, this physical relationship is just genuinely so miserable for yuder that its only takeaway is the physical pleasure. literally big part of why his sense of self-worth is so fucked up. adding too the quote on the top of my Diabolical Kishiar Lines ranking (chp 400)
intentional cruelty at play again because wow way to convey that their relationship is practically meaningless. comes as he pleases, fucking yuder until unconsciousness, leaving a cold side of the bed for yuder to wake up to, making yuder think that he's only worth a bedwarmer, only to insinuate that their relationship isn't even a grain worth to him.
in kishiar's defense the gloves wasn't part of that cruelty because of his genuine issues with it but what IS cruelty is not communicating abt it!!! 1tl kishiyu is not miscommunication its kishiar deliberately shutting down any form of honest and personal communications!!! all while he keeps fucking yuder until he passes out irregularly. like my guy you know this looks real bad on you right.
1tl kishiar had anticipated and accepted the fact that yuder would hate him for what he does, but i wonder if he had also anticipated and accepted with the fact that he would make yuder feel like a worthless, discarded toy in the process
Damn I'm reading the arc where Yuder and Kishiar went to visit Yuder's hometown, and during Yuder's dream of the day before his grandfather passed away, he was called 'little pup' and I was like ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ CUZ THATS SO CUTE, PUPPY YUDER
I'm so used to seeing Yuder as a cat-like character, but his younger self being likened to a puppy is adorable ๐ฅน
Yk what was crazy in the S class hunters I raised?
Chapter 319.
Bak Yerim soft launched the fact that Han Yuhyun might be AroAce by pointing out how much he didn't care about looks and Han Yoojin's very first instinct is to grab Seong Hyunjae.
Because apparently Han Yoojin finds him so attractive that he thinks it's like a universal constant.
"That damnably handsome face. Standards for good looks might differ across cultures, but this kind of perfectly symmetrical face would be praised anywhere. " - an actual quote from this chapter.
Han Yoojin just because you wanna kiss him doesn't mean everyone else on the planet does I promise you. ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ
(Another quote from this chapter because they are freaks:
โโNo, I mean, heโs definitely handsome. So handsome itโs actually kind of annoying that thereโs nothing to criticize.โ [Han Yoojin]
I simply loved seeing how the members of the Arcane Legion, upon seeing Yuder fighting without restraint and using his elemental abilities to demonstrate new techniques against Nathan, were not only extremely excited and thrilled by Yuder's pure display of power, but also upset that Yuder hadn't used those techniques on them first during Legion training.
They were there in the stands watching Yuder pressure Nathan with his powers, demanding the loyalty of the Arcane Legion Spirit, and complaining that Yuder had chosen to use those new techniques on Nathan first instead of on them.
So what if they're weaker than a Master Swordsman? They wanted to be beaten first!
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