It’s been about 4 years since I’ve actually checked anything on here. I did intend on going on my private tumblr because that seemed more.....”private,” however I felt that maybe what I feel like saying may enlighten someone.
I just watched a buzzfeed video about long distance relationships. Constant questions were popping up such as “Is it worth it?” or “How can I cope with it for so long?” And I realized that the longest some of these people have dealt with have been around 6 months to a year. I’ve dealt with it for 4 years without thinking about how I would cope with it. There were times that I have some interest in others for the sake of understanding how easy it would be to have a local relationship, but that would be taking the easy way out. Many times I’ve heard of how “hard” it is to be in a long distance relationship. To be honest, I felt like it isn’t that hard. When you are in one, time kinda just passes by. I don’t see her that often and she really isn’t that far from me. She is 2 hours away from me and technically it isn’t that far. On the other hand, what makes it far is how the situation is between one another. School is a factor. Work is a factor. Having a car available is a factor. Money is a factor. I’m a full-time student with no job so clearly it isn’t in my favor. Balancing that time is hard work even when I’m still pushing to get one.
After watching that video, I started thinking about what distance really is regardless of its dictionary definition. Distance to me is how far it is to get there. People have viewed this kind of relationship in a more negative way. I understand that people are more vulnerable to it and feel like it wouldn’t work out because you do not get to see them or you are afraid of possibly being cheated on. Of course you wouldn’t know, but it’s a journey that we are unable to expect, exactly how life works. For those that have never been in one or don’t understand the feeling of being in one, being in a long distance relationship is no different from a local one. I don’t see her often at all. It has been more frequent now that we have recently got better ways of transportation, but before I have only seen her about 3-6 times a year before this year. Every time she or I leave each other, we cry heavy amounts beforehand. We both feel lonely many times. We both have fought many times. We do most of the things that local relationships have. The only thing that we are unable to do is be there physically whether we be lonely or try to make it up. How do we cope with it? The only communication we have.
Distance is really how far it is in order to see them. Distance is an obstacle, but not a hard obstacle. Distance is what motivates me to move forward and do great things before that distance is gone. I want to apply myself to my future, get into a university, graduate, and get my career going before that distance is gone. Have I cheated on her? Not at all. Have I thought about ending this relationship? Not really. I may still have an interest in women, but not enough to pursue another one. I don’t have time to dilly dally around when I know that’s gonna mess me up later. Some relationships don’t work out well, but mine doesn’t end unless I make it end. I’m not going to be the reason why it ends or how it ends. It’s just not gonna end because I have no reason for it. I’ve had no time to end a relationship that I worked hard for. There is no fun to end something you just started. Just because you finished school, doesn’t mean that you stop learning. Just because you quit your job, doesn’t mean you stop searching. We keep moving forward for a reason.
I did want to keep this on the down low originally, but I hope this was an interesting read for others. The purpose of this post? A simple vent that I haven’t done in so long that has finally come and found some time to do.