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@folfar
It was one kingdom, once.
more of the ilya gets outed and marries svetlana fic that is currently hibernating
To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.
love to be back at work for two (2) hours and immediately wanting to fucking disappear !!!
literally getting through this by writing an extremely dead dove 2ha fic āļø
work still insane i love to put in a collective 15 hours of overtime over six working days actually ! anyway the fic is now over 10k and the working title is pussy specialist mo weiyu mdās evil plan and i have typed up the whole thing on my phone
if Hayden hadnāt outed them publicly how do you think theyād go about it after getting married ?
tastefully worded borderline ambiguous post on shaneās instagram featuring photos of them together on various scenic hikes standing at least 3 feet apart in every shot. followed by a touristās photo of them in ibiza with ilya with the worst sunburn of his life fully lobster red with both hands down the back of shaneās swim trunks grabbing his bare ass. followed by a tweet published on ilyaās twitter at 3:31am and deleted at 4:47am that reads YES I SUCK COCK YOUR MOTHER WAS GREAT TEACHER
Wanted to hate his big burley stupid ass to the end but he just had to pull that romcom ass stunt
Life is beach
All of the lifetimes ā they belong to you š¤
a compilation of my incorrect erha memes (beware of spoilers)
love to be back at work for two (2) hours and immediately wanting to fucking disappear !!!
literally getting through this by writing an extremely dead dove 2ha fic āļø
it is always narratively correct to make your characters sleep together before they sort through the hundreds of lies and misdirections between them. make things worse make things worse make things worse #i love betrayal #i love lying #i love people feeling bad about themselves
LETS ALL DIE
PAUL MCCARTNEY in conversation with Paul Mescal, May 2026.
love to be back at work for two (2) hours and immediately wanting to fucking disappear !!!
ābits to use in everyday conversationsā