cybergurl

suicidesheep

[forbiddenwhidden]

It’s been a while since I’ve used social media as an outlet, with that being said: I’m in shambles, many pieces of me scattered across the floor. I’m ready for change. I’m angry. I feel lethal. I felt like coming back to social media and becoming the monster whore everyone hates. And I’m totally anti whore. I love wholesome relationships and wholesome families, but I fell sooooo beyond low in life that I think about smashing my car into a wall OR just letting any man come into me. Someone dented my car. My knee is broken from the car wreck in February. All I can do is sit and eat. I’ve smoked so much weed I can’t even count all the empty joint containers. I would hire a Hitman on myself. I am so ugly. And fuck everything.

[forbiddenwhidden]

Follow my deviant art if you please!

[forbiddenwhidden]

I just drew this up in MediBang for my new Etsy necklace shop. The necklaces are coming out inspired by asteroids, metal, and rainbows and it took me a while to come up with the name: Uranus’ Rainbow. Hoping the name will turn some heads or get a laugh lol strategiss....

[forbiddenwhidden]

My last post is not to be confused with: well if he created us wouldn’t he love us if he saved us from this torment? If we are to be like the Word/Son which is above the angels then we need to be tested and tried since we are brand new babes of a brand new creation. If you read the scripture you will find that we and the Word/Son are the first of our kind. If I was a god and was creating a new being that had free will then I would definitely put it outside of my own domain in a controlled environment in case things go wrong and then I would presume to test it WHICH if you think about it testing is the same as if an artificial intelligence is repeating actions over and over until it perfects its own algorithm. Just like when a baby tries to learn to walk. Everything, this whole setting, the way things are - makes sense. If only you looked at the patterns of everything and did the investigation then you’d come out on top and you’ll be appreciated for correcting yourself in the rules he has given us in the form of a book of scriptures which is the manual.

[forbiddenwhidden]

I’ll never understand how people say “if there is a god or yet even a good god then why does he let bad things happen” how have you not thought further than that? Did you not know that there is further reasoning?! As much as I’m annoyed with the nastiness of humans I’m also very much hopeful that everyone would gain the right understanding if they would just think about it harder. Here I am doing all that I can, with 25 separate hobbies, having a job since I was 13 and not having any room to breath in between yet I had the time to investigate. You can do it all. You can still complete your missions while figuring out the truth. I always hear excuses. Even from my own family. How are you unable to have time? You make it happen. You do everything with your might because once you die that is the end of your trial. How. How.....is wisdom so scarce yet people dance around like they have it all figured out. I can’t wait, I’m so anxious, for people to finally realize the complete picture of it all. You can do everything you desire + learn the truth + have your own family and still get 7-8 hours of sleep...soon you’ll see that you invested in the things that aren’t useful and you’ll feel embarrassed that you never invested in the truth. I’ve had friends hound me for not investing in as much stocks as they do, and I always think in the back of my mind: Another individual who only cares about dead things that only give you relief during your temporary fleshy mortal trial lifetime on a temporary earth. To love someone has two parts: care and gentle happiness towards a person IN AS MUCH correction. CORRECTION. If you love someone you will try to correct them and make them straight. My plant is crooked and hanging because the main stem is weak: let me put a stick in the dirt next to it and wrap a string holding the two together so that it gives the plant upright help. A turtle walks into a busy road: hop out of your vehicle and quickly pick up the turtle and put it in the wilderness away from civilization before it’s too late. What is love without correction if you see them walking crookedly: you either hate them secretly or you have this false societal depiction that since everyone thinks love is about loving the person however they may be even if they are obese and on the verge of heart disease death that it’s still considered love?

[forbiddenwhidden]

I’m in my room thinking about Yahuah and listening to harps music. I also just ordered my own harp lol

[forbiddenwhidden]

There is now nobody sensible in my life. Sensible on the scale that I need to be around: such as Cepher knowledge or Septuagint knowledge. I can’t live alone in the world with a lack of this around me. I can’t be the only one. Ugh this life is hard. Everyone is after vanity and I’m trying to escape it.

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His name isn’t even jesus....it’s Yahshua. The letter J didn’t even exist till about year 1600.

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Let's be friends in Pokémon GO! My Trainer Code is 2997 4653 2260!

[forbiddenwhidden]

I know exactly what my depression is now - it’s active when I am incapable of adapting to changes in my own life. So from now on I accept everything all changes are welcome so that I am not held hostage by my thoughts.

[forbiddenwhidden]

Rushing to a very important place in Seattle before my reservation is taken!

[forbiddenwhidden]

I love Infected Mushroom so much that I’ve been spending so much money on their merch. Hoodies, vinyl records, cds. I swear I’m their biggest fan girl. I’d take my top off for them!

[forbiddenwhidden]

I’m a millennial and I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m more conservative than democratic. Like someone will reem my asshole if I let that slip out.