Why Did Nobody Tell Me About The Internet @forensicpunmaster - Tumblr Blog

so apparently “there he go” is not an appropriate response to seeing a robot get punched over the horizon

#IC #you were laughing too Clark! I saw you! you tried to hide it but I saw you laugh!

I’ve heard people say that a legacy is planting seeds in a garden that you never get to see grow

Guess I was lucky that I got come back and see the garden in full bloom, huh?

I saw a joke about "what if Billy was short for Billiam" and then I thought "what if Barry was short for Barrilliam" and then I realised that sounds like beryllium and when I stopped laughing I realised why everybody thinks I have a lame sense of humour

#IC #{an actual train of thought courtesy of the mun}#{:P}

One of these days, the skills I learned from my upbringing will come in useful on a League mission

One of these days…

#IC #{I'M LAUGHING}#{BARRY JUST WANTS HIS FARMING TO BE RELEVANT OKAY}#{HE JUST WANTS HIS GREEN THUMB TO BE USEFUL}

"nobody tell Barry about trivia websites" there was a slight flaw in your plan mentioning this when I was in earshot

#IC #{it's wikipedia all over again}

People've called me the slowest man alive since I was in college and let me tell you adapting to being known as the fastest when I became the Flash was. interesting.

#And by interesting I mean weird #IC

Oh so just because I figured out how time travel works for a speedster, it's my fault our descendants keep dropping back a few centuries to visit?

#Wally was there too you know!#Last I checked he's better at time travel than me!#IC

"what do you think of how the world has changed since you died?" Well there's at least seven new breeds of dog now so that's pretty cool

#IC #{Barry likes dogs}

“how do you not know how this works? have you been living under a rock for the past decade?”

well actually I’ve been dead for the past decade so I know even less than someone who’s been living under a rock

#IC #{snarky Barry is the best Barry}

With the power of Wikipedia on my side, my Flash Facts are unstoppable

#IC

One of these days Bruce and I will succeed in creating a Watchtower Introvert Corner. One of these days.

#IC #{Bruce & Barry bond over being introverts in a team of extroverts}#{it gets better when more people join}

The great thing about superspeed is that thanks to relative time perception you can do things as slowly and methodically as you want but nobody can criticise you for it because as far as they can tell you're being extremely fast at everything

#IC

I swear the only reason I'm late to stuff half the time is because the universe is out to get me. There's no other explanation.

#I SLIPPED. ON A /MIRROR/#A M I R R O R #AND KNOCKED MYSELF OUT #I WAS GOING TO BE ON TIME!!!#IC

"you can run at the speed of light why are you scared of rollercoasters" When I'm running I have control of the brakes and the direction

Rollercoasters are just. Strap yourself into this metal cart and get flung about this track with no control! It's fun I promise!! it's not fun they're LYING

#IC #{no I will never let the rollercoaster thing go}

you can try to convince me that they're fun as much as you want I am not getting on one of those deathtraps

who even invented rollercoasters anyways

who thought they were a good idea

#they're terrifying and horrible and WHO INVENTED THEM ANYWAYS #IC #{Barry's canonical fear of rollercoasters is my favourite thing}#{I'm scared of them too Barry I Get It}

It's just occurred to me that maybe the reason my records went missing in college is because I travelled back in time to take them forwards in time with me before they disappeared

Are my missing records a stable time loop?

#they just vanished one day and we never found them so #maybe?#IC

People seem to expect me to be weirded out by how strange my life is

People, I grew up reading every comic book I could get my hands on. I practically taught myself to read from them.

This is the life I've always dreamed of

#IC #{Barry's a NERD}#{remember that}

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