She had learnt little from feelings so far. Yet she had the feeling she indeed knew a lot from the warmth, trust and companionship. She knew they weren’t close at all to overrated, yet she loathed them for they were, just as those who carried them along, mortal. And there she remained the crow: the one and only ghost, for what is dead can never die. Savannah realized she had now lost not only the blonde princess but that she had intuitively been looking for people around after what it felt like a sacrifice, keeping the bloater away so people could escape. Was it? Was it sacrifice? Or was it only a game to tease death once more?
She couldn’t deny she had felt the desire to surrender more than one time and she didn’t have her anger to carry her through anymore. She hadn’t seen Dexter, something that could only mean he was already dead or that the odds would probably never make them meet again. Vengeance was gone, and now she was naked against her own misery, pain made its way out. Such a feble heart was caged in between her repeatedly broken ribs, in this corpse that pursued its way through survival.
Just a simple glass of water to clear her dried out mouth, the spores; maybe some more to clean herself. As if Judas himself did confess, Savannah craved for someone to hold the pieces but would have never dared or know how to dare to show or prove it. Maybe, she thought, maybe she never truly wanted to be alone. Although she had been saying so for this long, maybe she never wanted it for real and that was the reason why she followed Piper to Fall City and came back when she left and the same solid reason why her eyes wondered now, trying to find the one sight of grace, hope and strength she could ask for at this point. Nurturing and caring, Lexie had so far been a solid figure for her. Even if they had met so late. Who would be left that she knew?
No, Savannah did not sacrifice for a whole community. She knew nothing of it. She had took a chance to save human kind’s hope: the goodness that was left in such lionhearted girl.
The thought of all of it together being in vain clouded her already clouded sense of the world. How would she ever learn to live after this? How does a ghost stop themselves from wanting to live again when they’ve been breathed with enough hope? Because that sense of trust had infuriated it, hope through her veins. That she might one day let it all go. With the hopeless void Lexie left behind by her mere one action, Savannah felt as if walking aimlessly would never be enough again.
Then one single note. Her feet stopped along with her heart by surprise. Meters away, the figure of a solid soldier moved swiftly trying to get rid of a different cage; while Sav’s heart tried to jump out of theirs. A giggle. It’s me. I’m Savannah. It felt like she was prived from her own voice. Who had been Savannah so far? Could she be Lexie’s now?
Instead, she aimed to move forward to the one and only person who seemed to see her, with scattered rain painting freckles on her eyes, trying to avoid the mixed feeling. She felt her right food whining. Her back ached. Her hands felt like they had been dead for so long, deprived from touching anything alive for hours.
She had learnt little from feelings so far. Yet she had the feeling she indeed knew a lot from the warmth, trust and companionship. And she met all of it when she held Lexie’s body against her empowering the closest to a hug she knew how to give.
“ Yes, it’s me. ”