Chapter 11
Our small group headed across Hyde Park to The George after a few pre-drinks in the hotel. Alex held my hand the entire walk and I couldn’t ignore how safe and comfortable it made me feel—only adding to my confusion. He seemed to spend half the time wanting me around and the other half wishing I was someone else.
When we got to the pub, Alex stopped me from walking in after the others.
“Do you want to go get dinner with me?” he asked softly.
When I recovered from the shock of his question, I answered, “We can get something inside if you’re hungry.”
“No, I want to take you somewhere, just the two of us,” he informed me.
“Oh, okay, sure,” I agreed. “Should we tell the others?”
“I’ll text Damien when he starts to worry,” he said and pulled me along behind him.
We found a nice place a few streets away and didn’t have to wait long for a table, which was a bonus. When we sat down to eat, Alex ordered a well-done T-bone and I ordered some pasta.
Lord knows, Alex loved his steak.
2015. Alex and I were curled up on the couch with the TV going in the background. My legs were across his lap and he was cuddled into me. We were taking up the entire length of the three-seater and he had pretty much fallen asleep on me.
Charley was making us dinner even though it was technically my turn.
She’d taken one look at us when she got home and offered when she saw how exhausted we were from moving Alex’s stuff in. He didn’t have anything particularly hard to move, but it had taken three trips up to the Central Coast and back to get all his things. And I was pretty sure we were going to have to take another trip the following day.
“So what’s for dinner?” I asked when Charley walked into the lounge room and started watching whatever we had going on the TV.
“Chicken carbonara,” Charley answered without taking her eyes from the TV.
That seemed to get Alex’s attention because he was suddenly asking, “Can we have steak instead?” His was half asleep still, but the sickly sweet voice he used, mixed with the innocent smile on his face, made me slightly weak and I knew if it had been me making dinner then I would have agreed in a heartbeat. Charley was a different story.
There were few rules when it came to the dinner roster, but Charley took them very seriously. You never questioned what Charley had chosen to make for dinner—especially after she offered to cook on her night off—and you definitely weren’t supposed to ask for red meat. Ever. Charley couldn’t stand the smell of red meat, let alone the taste.
Charley looked over at Alex slowly, a fake sweet smile plastered on her face. “No, we’re having chicken carbonara,” she replied to him, using a voice to match Alex’s.
“But I really feel like some steak. Katy made the best steak when she stayed at my place last month. Maybe she can make it for me?” He looked at me expectantly.
I shook my head. “Don’t look at me,” I said. “If I don’t have to cook it, I’ll appreciate whatever is put in front of me.” I slammed my mouth shut when I realise my mother had just come out of it.
Alex looked at Charley again when he realised I wasn’t going to help.
“Katy can make you steak tomorrow,” Charley snapped.
“We’re going out for dinner tomorrow night, remember? To celebrate me moving in,” he said, still using that sweet voice.
“Well, then the fancy chef can make you steak,” Charley said with a demeaning tone that made me giggle.
“Why won’t you just make some? I know you have it, I saw some in the freezer before,” Alex continued to argue.
“Fine!” Charley said. Alex couldn’t see it, but I knew Charley had just come up with a brilliant idea. “You want steak? Alright, but you have to accept my methods of making it and serving it,” Charley said adamantly.
“Done!” Alex agreed.
Charley stood up and went back into the kitchen.
Alex looked at me, pleased with himself. I smirked at him. He had no idea, but I knew there was no way he had actually managed in just one night what I had been trying to achieve for three years. There was no way Charley was in the kitchen cooking him a steak.
Fifteen minutes later and Charley returned with two bowls, a plate, and cutlery for everyone. She handed me the bowl in her left hand and a fork, took the bowl off her right arm, and handed Alex the plate with a fork and a steak knife.
The excited expression on Alex’s face disappeared as soon as the plate was on his lap. As there, on the plate in front of him was the frozen steak from the freezer—and it was still frozen.
2011. While Alex and I ate, he asked a lot of questions about me that I didn’t know how to answer, so I did my best to give him an unspecific response and turn things around on him.
He mostly told me stuff I already knew, but I liked hearing it all from this Alex. There was something about being with this Alex that made me feel closer to him. It was nice getting to know more about who Alex was before I met him.
“So what are you up to tomorrow?” he asked me.
I got a little sad then. “I’m leaving tonight,” I said. “I’m leaving and I’m not coming back.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
“I should have told you earlier and I’m sorry I didn’t.” I knew now was as good a time as any to tell him the truth. Sarah was right, he deserved to hear it from me and I was running out of time to do it.
He sighed. “That sucks.”
But the words couldn’t find their way to my mouth—I merely nodded.
When we finished dessert and Alex had paid, I made a suggestion. “Shall we go back to The George?” I asked.
“Sure, good idea,” Alex agreed. He seemed too lost in his own thoughts to really care what we did. Just when I thought things were looking up, his mood had shifted back to distant.
As we walked back to The George in silence, I took a moment to glance at the watch. One hour, twenty-nine minutes and sixteen seconds.
When we arrived at The George, it took us a moment to find the others. Sarah and Nate were enjoying some quiet drinks on a lounge in the corner while Damien and Claudia were dancing with each other.
We decided to sit with Sarah and Nate after getting some drinks. They asked us where we’d been so we told them. We continued with small talk and I tried to ignore the sympathetic looks I was getting from Sarah. I hoped maybe Alex would ask me to dance, but he only offered to go and get more drinks even though the ones we had weren’t empty.
“You didn’t tell him?” Nate asked as soon as Alex left.
I shook my head. “I tried. We were having a pretty nice dinner and I was going to tell him, but I hesitated. Then I had to tell him I was leaving and he got so upset, I just . . . I didn’t know what to say after that.”
“That’s okay, it probably not an easy thing to say to someone,” Sarah comforted me.
“She managed to tell us just fine,” Nate pointed out.
Sarah turned on him. “Imagine I showed up in your life almost two years before we even met and told you we were going to be living together someday.”
Nate scoffed, “I’d tell you that you’re too beautiful to be settling down with a guy like me.”
Sarah raised an eyebrow at him.
“I do see your point,” he said and then turned on me again. “I just don’t want you to regret not telling him. There’s still time, you know.”
I looked at my watch. Taking the time it would take me to get to Cambridge Place into account, I had less than forty minutes until I would have to leave.
“Not enough to explain myself properly,” I realised. “And that’s if he even believes me.”
Sarah reached across the table and put a comforting hand on my arm. “So just tell him, we’ll take care of the rest.”
I smiled at her but Damien and Claudia joined us before I could thank her.
“Hey, you’re here,” Damien noticed.
“Yes, nice spotting genius,” said Nate.
Then Damien asked, “Where’s Alex then?”
“Gone to get drinks,” I told him.
Damien’s eyebrows knitted together. “We just came from the bar and we didn’t see him.”
We all looked around the room and eventually Claudia spotted him on the dance floor. He was dancing with another girl.
I couldn’t see her face, but I could see Alex’s. He wore a look I’d only ever seen him give me and when I thought the sight couldn’t get any worse, Alex kissed her. Unable to keep watching I grabbed my bag and went to get changed back into my regular clothes.
When I walked out Alex and the mystery girl had disappeared. I knew I shouldn’t have bothered me, I’d told Alex I was leaving and he deserved to be happy, even without. I did my best to try not to care, but in truth it was really bugging me that he’d done that. Now I couldn’t even to try to tell him I was from twenty-sixteen, let alone who I was to him, he was done with me for now.
I did half a dozen laps of the venue before giving up and going back to Nate and Sarah to say goodbye.
“So when can we expect to be seeing you again?” Nate asked.
I laughed at him and told him, “It was June, twenty-thirteen. So a little under two years. Don’t expect me to be a totally amazing lighting tech though. I’ll still be pretty new.”
Nate nodded and vowed to give me the benefit of the doubt.
“Two years until we see you again?” Sarah asked me.
I nodded. “I promise you, after that you’re going to see me so much. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were sick of me.” We both shared a laugh. I handed back her dress she’d lent me in the bag I was carrying.
“You keep it,” she said with a shake of her head.
“Give it to me again someday,” I told her with a wink.
She pulled me in for a hug. “Did you tell him?” she asked in my ear and I shook my head sadly and pulled back.
“I couldn’t find him,” I admitted sadly before pulling away.
Looking at my watch I saw I was running out of time and would have to speed-walk to Cambridge Place if I didn’t leave right then. Just like that, despite everything, I wished more than anything I’d told Alex the truth earlier—wished I had the whole day with him, sharing everything I could. And now it was too late.
“Where’s Damien?” I asked them. They both shrugged.
I looked all over the room but he was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Alex. I left it until the last possible minute, but when I couldn’t wait another second, I turned to Sarah and Nate.
“Say goodbye to them for me?”
“Of course.”
When I walked outside, I was really disappointed I wouldn’t get to say goodbye to Damien, and especially Alex, but there was nothing I could do—seeing twenty-sixteen Damien and Alex again was much more important. I walked two metres down the road and looked at my watch under a street lamp. Groaning, I realised I would have to take it at a run. As I took off down the street I heard someone yell my name.
“Katy!” Damien’s voice rang out on the noisy street.
I spun to face him. “Damien, what is it? I have to leave or I’m going to miss my window home.”
“Alex is missing,” Damien puffed out.
“What?” I mouthed, my voice lost to me.