forget me notes

Notes from my phone that need a place to live that's not my phone.

[forgettmenotes]

Struggling for perfection is like digging your own grave. You have a specific goal in mind, but by the time you reach it you’ll probably be dead.

[forgettmenotes]

You Owe Yourself

You owe yourself regular showers, good personal hygiene products, time by yourself, clean clothes and underwear, the career, relationships and life that you want. You owe yourself the opportunity to put your best face forward by having a positive attitude towards others and taking care of your appearance.

[forgettmenotes]

The thing about mean comments is they seem to affect you more when they’re things you’ve already thought to yourself.

[forgettmenotes]

I’ve realised that to people who don’t know me, I seem like a bit of a bitch. My bitchy resting face doesn’t help, but it’s mainly because of my social anxiety and lack of confidence. When I first meet people I have a wall up. I’m too scared to show them who I am until I see who they are and therefore know which parts of my personality I can comfortably show them. It’s ironic because I’m so self conscious and worried about what people think of me that I give off a negative vibe that people perceive as arrogance. I used to avoid people that I knew when I saw them out because I was worried they didn’t want to talk to me so I would only say hello if they spoke to me first. I realised that that’s ridiculous and they might think the same thing so now I stare people down and say hi cause frankly I’d rather be that person.

[forgettmenotes]

There's so much information on everything and I'm so bad at making decisions so how do I know what to believe and sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed.

Me, trying to form opinions.

[forgettmenotes]

Why is everything so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?

Note I found in my phone with no recollection of writing it, from 13 October 2015

[forgettmenotes]

Open Letter To My Dad

Everyone gets tattooed for different reasons. Some do it to remember milestones in their life. Some do it to fit in. Some do it because the like the look of it. Some do it to let others know that they’re not to be messed with. I just want you to know why I do it.

It’s a way of expressing different parts of myself that I find hard to express with words. It’s a way to communicate to others and remind myself that I like art, I love my family, I’m a romantic, I have a sense of humour, that I have stories to tell, that I’m a sensitive person, that I love music. All qualities that you helped me develop and that I’m so proud of I literally want to wear them on my skin.

I have an unexplainable admiration for tattooing as an art form. It helps me relate to people who I have things in common with, and separates me from those I don’t. It gives me something to be proud of when I look in the mirror, accentuates the features I like and hides the ones I don’t.

I’m scared that one day I’ll unknowingly get that tattoo that’ll cross the line for you that will make you never talk to me again. It devastates me that the more I grow into myself, the less you might want to know me. I want you in my life forever, that’s how it’s supposed to be. You’re supposed to love me unconditionally and be happy to see me happy. You’re supposed to be there when I get married and lecture me about mortgages and give me uninvited advice about raising my children.

I truly do understand the way you feel about tattoos, but I grew up in a different time to you and they don’t represent the same thing that they used to. The only negative thing about tattoos today is the way that some people perceive them because of their history.

Please try to understand that to me it’s an incredible expressive art form, no longer an illegal gang identification system. I have no plans at the moment for covering my entire body, but I know I will continuously have ideas for new tattoos and by the time I’m in my 50s I’ll probably come pretty close and by then you’re probably gonna need someone to wipe your ass and your other children don’t love you enough. So I hope you get used to it by then.

[forgettmenotes]

I used to talk quieter when I realised people were listening. They seemed so interested, it put crippling pressure on me and I would shrivel up in the spotlight. Now I’m older and wiser, I talk louder because now I know they just couldn’t hear me.

[forgettmenotes]

I slouch because the feelings inside my stomach are pulling me in, tugging me in all directions from the inside, imploding.

[forgettmenotes]

Trying to quit weed but you just bought an ounce? Call ‘We Smoke It For You’ where we smoke it for you!

[forgettmenotes]

What if we were all honest about why we quit our jobs

[forgettmenotes]

Realise you are important.

Be motivated.

Be accepting.

Be positive.

Be humble.

Sit down.

[forgettmenotes]

You don't have to worry about what people think of you. You don't have to prove yourself to or impress anyone but yourself. Without the fear of failure your potential is limitless. Take your own advice. Don't say things to yourself that you wouldn't say to a good friend. Be your own best friend. Don't be afraid to spend some quality time with yourself.

Me, to myself.

[forgettmenotes]

Thought:

Images are Photoshopped and unrealistic because they’re purely visual, and the only sense they can appeal to is our sight, therefore they have to work so much harder for us to like them. In real life though, we have our voice, our mannerisms, our actions and our physical appearance. We’re not trying to sell anything but ourselves, so the image we should put out to the world should only be a demonstration of how we want to be perceived. If all you have is your looks, then obviously you want that to be the best it can be, but this is why you shouldn’t look at photos of others and be envious of their looks or their lives, because they’re just showing you what they want you to see, and for me, that’s why I don’t spend a lot of time on my appearance but I’m still satisfied with the way I look (most of the time) because I more concerned about what people will think about my personality and intelligence.

[forgettmenotes]

I need to stress less. Most of the time I stress about the future and whether I'm on the right path and doing the right things now to get to where I want to be in life and when I can't figure out if I am or there's things I can't predict I get even more stressed. I need to stress less and do more. Less stress, more energy.

Me, to myself.