Forging A Soul

On here to talk to myself publicly. If you read this, that’s on you

[forgingasoul]

It is 3 am and my neighbors are having sex. I can hear them. Lady is having the time of her life. She is having an exorcism.

[forgingasoul]

Why do topics about climate change always mentions air-conditioning and rarely ever about heating buildings producing more CO2, like 4X more. Oh that’s right, it’s the global north that heat their homes and we can’t have them being inconvenienced, the black/brown people of the south must make all the sacrifices.

[forgingasoul]

We had lunch at the cemetery day before Mother’s Day. They’re no longer allowing tent set ups at the cemetery and that irritated my eldest sister. She was like why aren’t we allowed to bring tents, but that group over there gets one!?

We were like … Ate, that’s a funeral over there.

[forgingasoul]

I haven’t visited much of the rest of the country, because bitch be broke. I want see the South like Savannah, New Orleans, Austin, Charleston.

The first time I’ve ever heard a thick Texan accent, I was working at a job where I had to make cold calls. I call this one business and a man picks up. He had that Texan drawl. Oh boy, I had no idea it would sound so sexy. I just folded and stumbled on my words the rest of the time. I didn’t want the call to end.

[forgingasoul]

I showed my friends to the most beautiful restaurant I’ve ever seen. I was there last year and the food was okay so this time we just had cocktails and appetizers, but the appetizers were so good.

[forgingasoul]

[forgingasoul]

[forgingasoul]

I walked to the top floor of our work parking structure to see if I can see anything about Artemis landing. Some of the coworkers were up there. Heard that it’s probably not possible to see but we might be able to hear a sonic boom. I figured to still give it a try since we can see SpaceX launches all the way from here. In fact, Artemis landing is closer to us versus where SpaceX launches. We saw nothing, heard nothing, what a laugh 😂.

I spent most of work very unfocused in-between NASA feeds and Coachella streams. Feeling FOMO, feeling broke that two of my siblings and their families are there and saw BINI. I mean I did just get back from vacation and still have to financially recover from that, but goddamn I hate being a peasant. Need to go buy me more lotto tickets.

[forgingasoul]

I had no idea baby giggles and little kid voices in the middle of a quiet forest was horror fuel for me. I went back to the redwoods again. We crawled inside the hollow trunk of a still live redwoods, with interior black from a fire last century. So this kid was already inside and told us we can’t ever leave as if the tree will steal our souls. I left as soon as he finished talking because bye little satan.

[forgingasoul]

I took another vacation and I am still in the middle of it. I went to my current favorite place - California’s central coast.

I went back for my favorite meal in Santa Cruz. A Japanese curry loco moco. It’s giving me ideas. One of these days I’m going to make monggo and use those premade blocks of Japanese curry. Just you all wait.

[forgingasoul]

The girlies and I went dancing last night. It was time to go home but I was still insanely drunk so they left me waiting in the clurrb while they went to get the car.

They texted me to vacate the club right at that moment that bebot song came on and there’s a line there that goes Filipino! Filipino! I was the only Filipino in that dance floor so I was having my moment. Why they have to text me to leave right when I was feeling myself. Also, why is this song having a resurgence?

[forgingasoul]

I tasted the Starbucks ube drink. Tasted nothing like ube. The fuck was that

[forgingasoul]

My roommate got this as a gift. I didn’t know this thing had lights and made noises. I thought it was just a pillow and I laid my head on it and my soul almost left my body. Haven’t had that adrenaline rush in years. I thought I was being attacked.

[forgingasoul]

My previous job working for a small startup, one of my coworkers ended up in jail. Since I was the only other Asian person working at our office, boss kept asking me if I knew when he was getting out of jail as if I knew him personally outside work lmao

[forgingasoul]

I was super productive last Monday. Then came Tuesday and I felt run down, stayed in bed and did no chores before it was time for me to get ready for my nightshift. Rather than strive to be busy every day, I guess I can alternate between productive and rest days. That’s basically what I do at work anyways. One day I’m culturing cells, running my cells through the machines, then analyzing my work. Another day, I have only enough energy to make my excel worksheets.

I had a nightmare that I got fired. I cant remember the reason I got fired, but at least in my dream I found a job quickly after that. I know eventually I have to find another job, but I’ve yet to research what company is as stable as my current one. I keep telling myself this is the year I make the most out of the work gym to get fit, more confident enough to search for another position. Once I get my shit together, I’m out of here bitches! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.

[forgingasoul]

I had a pretty good 4th week of the year despite not having accomplished much. I went hot springs twice. This month got me broke.

I might have mentioned it before, but I’m really glad I got back into planning/ journaling as a hobby. If I’m getting into a hobby, might as well have one that helps me get my shit together, I finally got around to cancelling the gym membership of that gym I rarely attended.

I bought my hobonichi weeks with a December start date. This has been the longest streak I’ve had where every week has been filled out. Usually I would completely forget about my planner for months.

It all restarted because a coworker Roselle and her friend Ysabel invited me to a journalling event last November. I did not expect to enjoy it that much. We all got a gift box and they provided bottomless mimosas. Someone bought a life-sized cutout of Ian Somerholdar. We even took pictures with him. Hah. I’d do it again this junk journalling business. It was at Pacific Beach to an area of town I’ve never been and didn’t even know existed.

[forgingasoul]