[formerfirstson]

#FORMERFIRSTSON: an independent, private & selective TJ HAMMOND blog from the mini series political animals. canon compliant with several headcanons influences. penned by g (30+, she/her, gmt-3)

aus, crossover & oc friendly medium to low activity please read rules before following & interacting established june 2014. rebooted december 2025

MUTUALS EXCLUSIVE unless stated otherwise

MINORS DNI you’ll be blocked on sight

NON-RP BLOGS can interact with my headcanons and send anonymous asks but DO NOT interact with threads, that's an instant block

IMPORTANT this blog will focus on plot and character development, do not follow if you're not planning to interact. friends will take priority but i love building new connections

trigger warnings: there will be sensitive and triggering content on the blog, due to the nature of the show and tj’s story, such as depression, drugs, suicide, alcohol. all will be tagged accordingly, but please beware of this before following

★ ― GSITE ★ ― HEADCANONS ★ ― PROMPTS ★ ― WISHLIST ★ ― PERMANENT STARTER CALL

affiliated with alwaysxinxtrouble / pittresilience, etxrnaleclipse, feraltrust / nigthiingaled, lievester / amavitstellas / heldhope, sovietstrings, sxrgeant, tmrrwppl, vspomnit / deathbcx

blogroll flow3rbound, pec4dores

please read the full rules here, but these are the main ones:

i don't follow for follow

i don't follow back blogs without mun's age listed, no info about their character nor those who doesn't use the tagging system

no animated fcs nor celebrities with no acting background

i don't write smut. i'll fade to black spicy threads

give me at least a week to read all your pages before unfollowing or reaching out.

don't force ships on me

i match energy. if i don't see you're equally invested in a plot/dynamic, i'd loose interest

i sb either for my own sanity or because you didn't show any interest in interacting after a month of being mutuals

[formerfirstson]

slowly making changes to the blog before i actually return. it's very likely that some threads are gonna get dropped and i have deleted my wire acc so interactions will only be made here in tumblr and only contactable via discord

[vspomnit]

IT'S ALL A BIT TRAGIC, ISN'T IT?

a ghost story. written & loved by Jack.

[poohsources]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYBODY ! let’s take this as a reminder that no matter what you identify as, no matter if you’re out of the closet or not, no matter if you’re still questioning, all of you are incredibly loved and i am so damn proud of you.

[formerfirstson]

initial unfollow spree done. probably will do another one at my return along wiith all the other changes to the blog

[formerfirstson]

tj & pride parades

around 16-17, tj decided to attend his first pride. naturally, his family was against it, massive public event like that was too risky for someone with his visibility. so he tried to ditch his security detail —he had made up an excuse of needing a ride to visit a friend for a study date in a nearby neighbourhood. but they knew about his antics and had considered this scenario. they caught him slipping around the corner and sent him back to the car. he ended up watching the parade from one of the guest houses, resigned, wearing the flag bandana he was planning to take with him.

the following year, after a lot of pushing, they came to an agreement: he could attend incognito, and only from a safe distance, away from the main crowd. it wasn't ideal, but it was the best he could bargain from his parents —and when the options were "do it their way" or "don't go at all", he chose the compromise.

eventually, once he was in college, he was finally able to be part of pride properly. his parents still didn't love the idea, and they insisted security to stay close, but for the first time, he got to enjoy pride the way he had wanted to for years.

[formerfirstson]

still not planning to come back to this blog in the foreseeable future, at least for the time being. maybe i’ll wait until the world cup ends, maybe it’s earlier. but i will be doing a cleanup starting tomorrow. i’ll get rid of inactive blogs (not in my affiliates) and those who i haven’t interacted with and kept ignoring my attempts

[vspomnit]

Is this bread or a rock?

he takes the loaf of bread and abruptly smacks TJ upside the head with it. it’s a visceral reaction – something he likely would have done to Steve or one of his sisters after doing something they shouldn’t have done. Bucky never uses much force and the same is said here. his wrist is limp as he swings it. the loaf of bread is, as TJ described, hard and clearly inedible. still, Bucky feigns offense.

Bucky didn’t bake the bread, but he may as well have with how it turned out. him allowing it to end up in this state, however, is his fault, but not one he will own up to.

as someone who doesn’t eat much, it’s evident by the sparse kitchen that the food Bucky does have tends to go to waste. much like the loaf of bread, Bucky tends to forget he has it, and by the time he does remember, the only thing it feeds is the garbage can and any raccoons that may benefit from it.

Bucky really isn’t used to having guests over and when he does, they usually order in, so what he has in his kitchen (or lack thereof) is never really a topic of conversation. unfortunately, TJ decided that today was the best day for him to come over with drugs to share with his favorite uncle. Bucky didn’t stand a chance and, inevitably, TJ wandered into his kitchen to find something to munch on. he was disappointed by what he found.

“i don’t have anything,” Bucky says, again. all he can do is watch as his nephew opens up his fridge and finds three cases of different kinds of beer, each missing at least one, one case of coca-cola, two containers of bland yogurt that is likely expired judging by TJ’s expression when he picks them up, and multiple cans of wet cat food.

Bucky probably would have said something along the lines of ‘i haven’t gone grocery shopping’ or ‘i don’t have any money’, but they both know they’re only feeble excuses. TJ dragged Bucky to the store yesterday and all Bucky left with was a Snickers, a bag of lemon candy, toilet paper, and a new pair of sunglasses. and, even if he was broke, TJ probably wouldn’t let him starve if he could help it. needless to say, any excuses he could come up with would fall on deaf ears. it’s pretty obvious why his kitchen is as empty as it is. TJ being high doesn’t make him ignorant.

so, Bucky doesn’t try to explain it away. instead, he collects his phone from his pocket and orders chinese. if TJ remembers when he sobers up, he’ll hear all about it.

@formerfirstson

[sebastiansource]

SEBASTIAN STAN For MRRM Magazine

[formerfirstson]

trying the barbecue yerba leaves i bought on my last trip and boy are they strong. the smokey flavor is pretty invasive but tastes good overall. veredict: i'll mix it with regular one next time

[rockifresa]

[formerfirstson]

hi i was just here to shitpost and save replies. imma purge my following list at my return and possibly some of my threads too

[vspomnit]

Don't worry. l have everything under control.

it’s not that Bucky doesn’t believe him . . . except Bucky doesn’t believe him.

chaos seems to follow them everywhere they go. he doesn’t know if it’s their genetics or if they’re both just that stupid.

(honestly? it’s probably a little bit of both)

Bucky was supposed to be the responsible one. he’s always been the responsible one – the overbearing mother; the sheepdog; the protector; the confidant. he doesn’t like to think about when that changed. he was the guardian – the shepherd – for so long that he forgot he could be cared for, too.

he and TJ take care of each other. maybe it’s a little unconventional, but it works for them.

that doesn’t change their inability to stay out of trouble.

TJ makes Bucky feel human and sometimes that results in a little recklessness.

not that they’re breaking any laws or anything – technically.

(it’s only breaking and entering if you don’t have a key)

Bucky takes a step back, his hands placed on his hips as he casts an amused look at his nephew.

“Teej – no offense, but you should probably just let me do it. i’m the Winter Soldier, remember? he’ll never know i was even there. you, on the other hand . . .” he gestures at TJ vaguely. “you’re just going to get us caught and trust me, it won’t be a good look for either of us.” he swipes the key out of TJ’s hand, dangling it in front of his face like the cheeky bastard he is. “i’ll be out in five. go sit in the car.”

he doesn’t bother waiting and unlocks the door, squeezing his way into the dark and empty house.

@formerfirstson

[vspomnit]

nothing like a little pain to remind you you’re alive.

Bucky blinks slowly at TJ. then, his eyes drift to their surroundings.

he’s out of breath, his hands placed firmly on his hips, fingers twitching almost uncontrollably. he probably looks frazzled – maybe even a little out of his mind. honestly, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he ended up on a different floor just by the sheer look of him.

part of Bucky wants to smack TJ upside the head and call him stupid for his actions. maybe if he wasn’t so scatterbrained he would have.

he doesn’t think he’s run this fast since . . . since –

he straightens his back and pinches the bridge of his nose. he was trying not to lose his cool. the last thing anyone – least of all TJ – needed was to see Bucky come unglued.

when Bucky is finally able to calm himself, he gives the room another look around before his eyes finally settle back onto his nephew.

there are things he wants to say, but he doesn’t even know where to start.

being here, in a hospital room . . . it doesn’t scare him because of what happened to him. it doesn’t remind him of that. maybe it would be easier for him to swallow if it did.

Bucky carefully slips into the chair across from TJ and contemplates his next actions.

“well, clearly they didn’t hit you hard enough – you still have an awful sense of humor.” he briefly considers why he’s here and not TJ’s parents or his brother. surely they would have been first in line. either way, Bucky’s just glad he’s okay.

not that he’s going to say that out loud.

instead, using his flesh hand, he reaches across the bed and does what his first instinct told him to do- he slaps him upside the head. if there was any concern of head trauma, he wouldn’t have done it, but even so, he doesn’t hit him hard enough to leave much of an impact.

“you’re a fucking moron, Teej. don’t you dare do that to me – ever again.”

@formerfirstson    

[artiedonaldson]

MIKE FAIST and JOSH O'CONNOR CHALLENGERS 2024, dir. Luca Guadagnino

[etxrnaleclipse]

@formerfirstson

[vspomnit]

So what's the story with this place?

he has a tight-lipped expression, eyebrows carefully knitted together. Bucky’s concentrating on not falling to his death, tiptoeing along the side of the building and keeping his back to the wall. you would think with him being some big, renowned assassin he wouldn’t be so scared, but you can see a bead of sweat on his forehead, and his heart is pounding loudly in his chest. if TJ were to look close enough, he’d see his flesh hand shaking as he uses it to guide him to his destination.

regardless of Bucky’s evident fear of heights, that doesn’t stop him from crossing over to the rooftop. his tongue is pressed to his cheek, teeth gently holding it in place.

even after all these years, Bucky’s never been able to shake off the tremors.

maybe it’s a stupid fear, given who he is.

he read somewhere once that it’s not the height that scares you – it’s the possibility of falling.

(he remembers falling; in his dreams, he’s still falling)

once his feet make it to the other side and he’s finally on sturdy ground, there’s a sigh of relief that exudes from his chest. he flops down on the metal roof of the water tower, feet dangling just over the edge. it would have been easier to use the ladder to get up here, but the one leading up to the roof is delipidated and likely wouldn’t hold his or TJ’s weight. maybe he’ll come back some other time and fix it.

he offers TJ a hand to pull him up the rest of the way.

when TJ sits next to him and speaks, Bucky doesn’t immediately answer him. the sun is disappearing behind the surrounding abandoned buildings, illuminating the memories that play behind his eyelids.

he’s still missing pieces and he doesn’t think he’s ever going to get all of them back, but he remembers this place.

Bucky sighs and leans back against the rooftop, his arms acting as support. in this position, he can see the beginning of stars peaking from behind all the smog and lights of city life. a lot has changed here in the years that Bucky’s been away, but at least that hasn’t. not that it offers much comfort.

“i used to come up here with Steve,” he explains, voice lowering as if sharing a secret. “back when we were kids. it was his idea, actually – i know, Saint Steve, doing something he wasn’t supposed to, who would have ever guessed?” he snorts. no one truly knew Steve. and now, no one ever will.

“i thought they would have torn it down. the whole area is abandoned. even when we were kids, i think there was only one functioning building.” he squints as he looks around, but he can’t seem to pinpoint which one. not that it really matters to him anyway – like everything else around, it was abandoned; leaving behind only the memories of the life it once held.

Bucky looks back at TJ, his lips parting as if he were to say something, but whatever he wants to say dies on his tongue.

“there’s only ghosts now,” he says, lifting a finger to idly drag across the rusted metal. “i guess that’s all that’s ever left.”

@formerfirstson

[formerfirstson]

i know i don't owe anything to anyone, but i've been struggling with tj's muse these days. not sure why exactly, changing blogs again is not an option so i'll be quiet for a bit here until getting back into the groove and just work on what sparks joy. meanwhile you can find me in my other blogs if you want. see ya