Aries: Captivation. Someone who not only captures but holds their flickering flames of interest, someone they can’t look away from if they tried, who melts their hearts with slow burning lava.
Taurus: Fluidity. In the midst of their sturdy calm, someone who will surprise them and move them, who pushes them to their limits, who is exasperating and irresistible.
Gemini: Adoration. Someone who loves the quickness of their minds, who thinks they are the world’s most beautiful puzzle, who touches them like they are a map they will never quite completely understand.
Cancer: Security. In the depth and curves of Cancer’s love, they crave someone who is unwavering, who will forever hold their hand.
Leo: Passion. Someone whose heart burns as brightly as theirs does, someone whose fierce spirit matches their own, whose kisses are intertwining flames.
Virgo: Understanding. Someone who studies them carefully, who knows that they try their hardest, who loves their quirks and reads their bodies, who makes them feel like their every movement is a blessing.
Libra: Determination. Fearful Libras with fleeting hearts crave someone who will go to the ends of the Earth for them, someone who proves with every smile that they hold unconditional love.
Scorpio: Acceptance. Someone who knows their darkest shadows and brightest lights and loves it all, who never lets them forget that love.
Sagittarius: Freedom. The spirit of Sagittarius is untamed, and never will be; they crave someone who will travel the world with them, who looks at them like they are the universe but will always set them free.
Capricorn: Romance. The misunderstood, intricate heart of Capricorn craves boldness and sweetness, romance and adoration that overwhelms them, makes them feel like they have the world in their hands.
Aquarius: Excitement. Someone who startles them, who takes their hand and leads them to new worlds, who makes them laugh harder than they ever have, whose mind is filled with things they never knew existed.
Pisces: Fascination. Someone who delves into their worlds, who explores them and listens to their soft spoken stories at 3 AM, who theorizes and hypothesizes with them, who never tires of hearing them speak.
I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.
I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!
You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.
How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”
I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.
Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-
Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.
The simple thought that the jar jar anon exists in the same world as we do gives me shivers. I bet that if I look upon them, whoever they are, I will die instantly.
If you haven’t heard about it yet, SISEA is a bipartisan bill introduced in the US senate by Ben Sasse (R) and Jeff Merkley (D)
It includes a series of overly strict regulations to be imposed on the online porn industry, and would basically have the same results as the tumblr porn ban, but internet-wide.
Here’s just a few of the rules it proposes:
Requires verified ID and signed consent forms for everyone involved in the production and uploading of adult content
Requires the PLATFORM, not the user, hosting pornography to include a banner or notice on the site that tells you how to request the removal of content if you didn’t consent to being in the video
Prohibiting VIDEO DOWNLOADS on all platforms that host pornographic content within three months of the legislation passing
These platforms are ALL required to have a 24hr MANNED hotline, staffed by the platform, for content removal requests. (No clarification on how the person requesting the removal would be expected to prove their identity, and this is IN SPITE OF the rigorous verification process the proposed law ALSO REQUIRES, so this is likely to be abused by trolls)
Requires removal of flagged videos within TWO HOURS.
Requires all platforms to have an algorithm to prevent videos that have been removed (by the host, not the uploaded) from being reuploaded after removal
The above is to be enforced by the FTC
Creating a DATABASE OF PEOPLE who do not consent to being in adult videos, which must be checked BEFORE ANY NEW CONTENT CAN BE UPLOADED, the specifics of which are to be decided by the Department of Justice, and failure to comply with this requirement will be punished with a fine
So I’m sure by now that everyone has an idea of how bad this will be for not only sex workers, but any and all platforms that people use to post adult content, whether it’s the platform’s intended use or not, as well as anyone who consumes said content.
The rules concerning digital content, as many are probably wondering, are incredibly vague. Here’s a breakdown on twitter of why these rules in particular would be disastrous:
“I’ve gotten some questions about Patreon and illustrated porn. So, I’m breaking down SISEA’s text this morning. It’s a short one.
First: t
So, you’re probably wondering
“What can I do to stop this from being passed?”
Right now, I haven’t seen any petitions about this particular legislation, but I 100% advise and advocate for calling your state’s representatives and senators and demanding they speak out against this bill and it’s absolutely impossible requirements.
Here’s a list of current US Senators and their official contact info:
U.S. Senate: Senators
Here’s the info for US Congresspeople:
Representatives | house.gov
And here’s the article where I originally heard about SISEA, because I don’t see many people talking about it yet:
U.S. Senators Ben Sasse (R-NE) and Jeff Merkley (D-OR) introduced a bipartisan bill Friday calling for extensive new regulations on adult we
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