i've got no strings

Hayley; 9teen. lost. the outsider. "there are no strings on me,"

[nxttheonlyone]

What’s the matter, Hayley?

[fquhayley-blog]

I-- I don't know.

[coldrainx-blog]

You sure? ‘Cause if you need to vent to someone then you could always talk to me, Hails. You know that, right?

[fquhayley-blog]

I'm scared.

[coldrainx-blog]

.. Everythin’ alright?

[fquhayley-blog]

No. But it's okay.

[fquhayley-blog]

I don't even know anymore.

[fquhayley-blog]

GUYS I AM STRESSING OUT SO HARD RIGHT NOW. I'M WRITING AN ESSAY AND ITS DUE IN LIKE FOUR HOURS AND OH GOD IM ONLY ON MY THIRD PARAGRAPH AND IT NEEDS TO BE LIKE SEVEN PLUS PAGES IM KILLING MYSELF RN I CANT. SEND HELP. SOS. this has been a post. ugh.

[fquhayley-blog]

i just want to make out with someone but i also want someone to watch netflix with and cuddle and ugh.

[nxttheonlyone]

What are you working on anyways? Maybe I could help.

[fquhayley-blog]

Huh? Oh, it's some stuff for finals. I have an essay I need to write but I haven't gotten to it yet.

[fquhayley-blog]

WHAT THE HELL DID I COME ON TO ON THE DASH LOL.

I CANT.

[p3rspective-deactivated20150218]

[fquhayley-blog]

Well, my father’s father was a failure! And his mother loved her lover more than she loved her sons. My father is nearing the end of a good fight that he’s fought since the beginning: a far better man than the one he feared he might become. Glendora will always be the place his brain fragmented, and China will always be the place that he felt whole. Beijing will be the place the devil tried to fight it, and my mother will always be the keeper of his soul. Well, I just want them to grow old together, to sit on the front porch of their home together, to laugh about how my sister was the far more responsible child; to reminisce of how much we’ve grown. 

You’ve still got to marry me and my wife, and you’ve still got to walk your daughter down the isle and give her to a man that you trust enough to take care of your little girl. You’ve got to see the smile on her face when she sees the smile on mom’s face when she sees the smile on your face as you give away your world. We’re all riding our tricycles, bicycles through these streets and we’re all gradually letting go. I know it doesn’t make it any easier, but you are not the failure that your parent’s were and I’d have never learned to ride on my own. 

Well, how frail are these bodies! (And with your hand turned against me…) We blossom like a flower and then whither in the winter and like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear. If I hold my head high, you hunt me like a lion, and even if I try, I can’t feel you when you say that you’re near. My days fly faster than the weaver’s shuttle, and they end without hope. You, my lucky man, have been privileged to joy and cope in the same suffering your savior claims he knows! And who are you to challenge your creator? Surely resentment destroys the fool, and have you ever commanded the morning into daylight’s transition into evening’s cool? 

All I know is that we’re all houses that someone crafted for a reason. Some of our paint is chipping, and we weather with the seasons, but all of us branches are prone to decay, so was it an honorable man or a cruel hand that made us this way? I am a house that creaks and groans, and all of my bones shake. I’ve got a cornerstone that I call my own, but I stumble on it every day, and the one that makes me a home, the builders rejected and threw away. On some days, I am tempted to follow suit and uproot my faith.

[nxttheonlyone]

[ Will glanced into her bedroom and noticed all the papers] I was just going to order some pizza and wanted to see if you wanted any. I think a study break would do you some good. 

[fquhayley-blog]

[she nodded her head, running a tired hand through her hair] That sounds good.... I can't concentrate on this stuff anyway.

[fquhayley-blog]

i really fucking hate writing thesis' i just pls no can they be exterminated.

and then my finals start on monday.

fuck meeeee.

[strength-dignity]

That sadness became my comfort and maintaining it became my chore.

Levi the poet (via strength-dignity)

[nxttheonlyone]

[Will had been in his bedroom, working on a paper due in the morning when he stomach began to grumble. He didn’t know what time it was, nor how long he’d been working on his paper but he did know that he was starving. Closing his laptop, Will got up from his desk and walked over to Hayley’s room and knocked on the door] Hey, you up?

[fquhayley-blog]

[hearing a knock on the door her head had shot up and she nodded her head, yawning and rubbing her eyeball before she slowly looked at her bed which had papers all over the place, the laptop in the middle. She had gotten up and walked over to him] What's up? [she stretched before wondering what time it was]

[wtfirina]

Well it’s about damn time you woke up.

[fquhayley-blog]

I don't want to be.

[fquhayley-blog]

[Hayley had fallen asleep -- she didn't know what time she passed out all she knew was that when she woke up it was almost in a panic. The girl had been exhausting herself, cramming in information for finals, and now she felt lost again.] Shit.

[coldrainx-blog]

I’ll give you all of it then. [ she laughs, shaking her head. ] You already feelin’ nice, Hails?

[fquhayley-blog]

I feel a lot looser and a lot more better than what I was feelin'.

[lydiaasmartin-blog]

"Wait— you’re the girl that’s living with Will? Right, Hayley?"

[fquhayley-blog]

Yep that's me & my name.