She noticed when the Demon showed signs of faltering, even stopping for the slightest moment - but still trying to play the same tunes over and over again like a scratched disc right as those words said. There’s no true way to know if what she was saying was indeed reaching the other in some way, or if it was simply a hiccup in the way that would be fixed as soon as this ended—
–however, Sayaka takes a pause of her own. An almost odd one with the matter going on at hand, but her blue eyes don’t leave her variant. The only sound is an exhale after a while. Some other emotion sparks into those eyes and she turns to the side, seemingly pensative.
“…You know,” She closed her eyes. “I didn’t become a magical girl for Sakura Kyoko originally. My goal was… simply to save Kaname Madoka and Tomoe Mami. I didn’t even think of Kyoko before. I just wanted to save my little sister and my mentor - to fix my stupid, foolish mistakes. I was a coward who couldn’t protect them. But do you know what I felt for Kyoko back then?
…nothing but pure hatred.”
She carries that word with a strong, bold tone, and yet in a very matter of fact way. It was the truth of her own start – something she deeply regretted still to this day.
“I wanted her to get out of my way. She threatened Mami and Madoka’s life. I couldn’t stand her, how she would just simply leave innocent people to die and become mere food so she could live on more day. How selfish she was, how little she cared for other lives as long as she got what she wanted. Mami told me the same everyday – that Sakura Kyoko was a monster that should die. And I believed that. I believed it everytime. I became strong not just to protect them, but to defeat her, too.”
This next pause is a heavier one as she lingers on those last words, and she opens her eyes again to spar a glance. It may be hard to say why she’s recounting such a thing, but she continued.
“…but as time passed, I got to know her. That monster… spoke to me. That monster helped me. That monster stayed with me, and eventually saved me. Hatred turned into indifference, then like, then affection – and before I knew it, I fell in love with that monster. The monster who Mami told me to stay away from. But she was no monster. She was… human. Someone who had lost her family at what she perceived to be her own hands. She…
' Protect Madoka and Mami from Kyouko...... ‘
With her narrative of wrecking everyone’s lives for the sake of one girl, and wishing to change it all and suffering for years to save her friends and eventually saving only Kyouko and wrecking herself in the process and warping her sanity and ideas, turning her into what she is now.
But with this Sayaka.... it was so different, but it didn’t lack any less pain then her own.
The demon listened and listened diligently.
‘ So the knight and the monster fell in love... how did this lead you to going back in time to save her... and failing even now up to this point? ‘
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