I am the trash queen

I’m 27 and a literal mum. I have a 3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. I also have a little angel baby girl who passed away at an hour old between them. My immune system literally tries to kill me, there’s no cure, and I have chronic fatigue. I’m a professional at dad jokes, so I’m basically a dad. I’m a Gemini (so actual trash) but if your parents are shit, I’m your parents now. I’m way too old for tumblr. I’ve been on this damn website since I was 13. I’ve seen some shit. There is no escape.

[missfiney]

good dick is cool and all, but I heard it’s better when it’s from a man who provides nothing but peace and happiness to you.

[wrong-side-0f-edits]

all time low // once in a lifetime

[funnytwittertweets]

[namcoarcade]

reblog this to hug me

[cass-without-the-andra]

We're sorry, your salem witch trial has expired. Please upgrade to salem witch premium now

[argumate]

sci-fi plot: yeah and in this futuristic city he meets a woman–

producer: is she a stripper? is she a callgirl? does she get her tits out? is she a cop working undercover as a stripper? is she a sexy assassin who has sex with her victims and then kills them sexily? is she a robot stripper? is she a mystical being of pure energy who has no need for clothes and a great rack? is she a holographic beer advertisement?

[thatkindoffeminist]

@grudgepacker don’t leave this gem in the notes!

[mysharona1987]

If that is what she wants.

[great-tweets]

it’s called growth

[bled]

[narutwitter]

[kitty]

[catchymemes]

Credit: https://imgur.com/gallery/4LXnrWO

Original comic: https://www.buttersafe.com/2019/03/21/the-water-cycle/

[rook-the-catechumen]

This is what stepping on a landmine feels like

[bigmeansweatydyke]

this felt like getting punched in the throat

[wrenwalker]

not people bragging about this website never going down as if tumbeasts weren't a whole thing back in the day

[wrenwalker]

circa 2011

[dankmemeuniversity]

[j-m-an]

[coolyo294]

[bunniope]

[charlesoberonn]

It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong.

[memory-thought]

I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid.

[charlesoberonn]

You can see the inside of the cardboard though.

This isn’t a real door, it’s a prop from a movie or TV set.

[notaboyscout]

it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and that’s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA.

[charlesoberonn]

[queen-of-dirt]

y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows

[charlesoberonn]

If I kicked my bedroom door I’d more likely break my foot than the door.

[charlesoberonn]

I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal.

[morphimus]

American homes are made extremely cheaply and aren’t built to last.

Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls.

Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood.

Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that.

Weak foundations that wouldn’t hold up at all if it weren’t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is.

Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich people’s homes.

Read this article.

https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality

Then watch this video.

[the-pump-king-deactivated202206]

Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that?

[ryderdai]

It’s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? 🤷🏾‍♂️

[saintemiliosandoz]

we are all just bitches who wanna clean our ears