Frankie's Travels @frankiedthelame - Tumblr Blog

New Hope

It’s been way too hard to just sit down and write lately. I was pretty amped about it a few weeks ago but you know how life catches up and you gotta run away again. I been thinking i need to stay more focused really hone in on what I’m doing and need to be doing right now. I’m working security at an apartment complex. It’s a pretty good nob and I’ll have a lot of down time there. That’s why I’m back writing. I figured there’s no way I can tell myself I don’t have the time to do anything. The time is taking care of it’s just a matter of what I want to spend the time doing. There”s nothing really drastic that I can do or want to besides writing and working on videos.

I think I’m starting to realize just ow much time I’ve spent online. I guess i just assumed that everyone’s been living i]on the internet for the past 20 years. Then to look out and realize they probably haven’t. I just assume that people would’ve fallen into the hobby of creating content for it instead of just scrolling. I’ve always thought about I just never found a way to execute that paid off enough for me to justify actually sticking to it. story of my life basically. but it looks like it’s not going anywhere yet so might as wheel jump on the bandwagon before the metaverse takes of and leaves me behind.

Ugh I can sense my frustration from lack of change. or just noticing how slow of a process change actually is. a two part process for both the brain and body. I spend too much time on the brain part just thinking and planning.

2:56 This time

I’ve been waking up at around 4 every morning usually smoke a cigarette and jump online. It feels like I’m caught up on current events. I usually just wait until I keep hearing about something enough then I’ll start to look into them. I’ve noticed though that the internets been picking back up. It got to a point where it felt like I was seeing the same videos everyday with colors. It’s been better lately It’s like cooler people are taking up more space. I’m seeing a lot of people I haven’t seen before speaking volumes really. I wanna be a part of that community. That internet community. Facebook aint it of course. I think it’s hard to just slide into this community though. I feel like I need equipment. At least a fucking tripod. The podcast might be a good starting point to make me feel like I’m moving in the right direction.

mzthuggr

theparisianscent

Another One

Another day another blank mission. I'm at the library. I feel good here it feels like I'm up to something. it feels like I'm slowly eeeking my life back together. My actual life. the things that I want to do. the things that i feel like doing. it's hard for me to really focus on what I should be doing and what I want to be doing. they're almost the same thing. well at least close enough to me. I feel like everyone else looks at the things I do, and the lifestyle that I want to live, as out of place. I realize that none of the people i hold dear in my life actually know what my perception of my life actually is but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I guess I don't really know what everyone else's life is either, but it bothers me sometimes how people think they just have me so pin pointed. that when I display what i really want they, for whatever reason just don't believe it. on another note. I've been really thinking heavily about not what my goals re but what they actually should be. I've always thought that al i was looking for was stability, and then I realized that stability is easy when you don't necessarily care about where you are stable at. basically I'm locked in. I feel so trapped where I am and I'm taking the time to really get comfortable before I let myself just splash out into the world. I feel like I've been spending my whole life waiting to splash, but that's also why i feel like I'm approaching a point where I actually can and it will mean something to myself. I feel like I'm entering a phase where I can actually appreciate my day to day instead of looking and waiting for something spectacular to happen. i feel bad when I'm expecting something grand and only the mediocre happens. over the past year it's gotten stuck in my head that the mediocre is still somethings. and as long as there's something it's something you know. this is the phase of implementing. implementing the lessons and the mistakes. then using those things to build new experiences and new stories for myself. hopefully others too. That's part of what I want i want other to take inspriration from the stuff that looks mundane and basic and use it to inspire themselves to step out and see what they have buried deep within themselves. personally I'm only surface level of my potential. im trying to unlock more but of course i have to take the right stuff and give things time to progress and develop. the world is moving fast. like its trying to escape something. There's nothing to escape. just help the rest of the world move along with the flow.