pure chaos

don't be too frigid that you'll break.

[frczenspine]

Things felt different.

There was a part of himself that he had lost. A part that was still, somehow, innocent, naïve, hopeful, despite all that he’d already been through in life. Despite his mother’s torture and murder; despite the gaslighting and abuse that made him jump at even the slightest sound. There was a part of him, before Antarctica, that still believed there was good in the world. 

That part had been wrong.

There were only two things that Liam Castillo knew to be true in life. 

One, there was no hope for humanity. Chaos and destruction were coming for them, and no matter how much they fought against it, people couldn't stop avalanches. 

Two, he was no longer a part of this team of demigods trying to right the world. He was Her’s now, and that meant, to save himself, he’d do whatever she wanted. 

These were the absolutes left in his life. These were the foundations on which Liam rebuilt himself. 

---

Weeks passed at camp, where he wallowed in his misery, his trauma, his patheticness. Weeks passed at camp, where the others solved the world’s most pressing problems. Weeks passed at camp, where Liam Castillo transformed into the man stepping out of the room he had confided himself in. 

Stepping out of the room, Liam looked like himself again. His hair was done, his clothes were skimpy, and his smirk was dancing on his lips again. The bags under his eyes had eased, which made the now strikingly purple irises he had pop against tanned skin. 

Crackling energy passed between his fingers. As it trailed between each digit, the crackling became purple smoke, became  black ice, became decayed ivy before bursting out in an array of purple sparks, like a firecracker. His left eyebrow twitched upwards, impressed, and he turned his attention towards the dummies yards away from him.

His arm slashed against open air. 

The same purple energy raced from his fingertips in chain-link tendrils and wrapped around the dummy’s neck, popping the makeshift head easily. 

His other hand rose from his side as if struggling through water. Purple smoke, so dark it was almost black, billowed off his fingers, and a cool wind burst from behind him. It rocketed towards the decapitated dummy, and it was encased in a black tomb of ice within seconds. 

Liam’s smirk only became more sinister. 

He wasn’t weak anymore. He was chaos; he was everything. 

His fingers crashed into a fist, and the tomb of ice imploded, shattering with a resounding BOOM. Particles and hay strands scattered to the winds in front of him, and if someone was close by, they would have heard his laughter. 

[frczenspine]

son of eris -- an offering

He wasn’t sure what he was doing anymore. He wasn’t sure what he thought this would accomplish. Trials were things that the good side had, a security blanket in case this very war they were fighting happened. Right? Why would the goddess of chaos even plan a failsafe? 

But he hadn’t done it for Boreas, and he missed his chance. He felt like he had to try now, or he’d been even more useless than he already was to the team. Maybe no one would go with him to get the artifact she created. Maybe they’d think it was a trap; it probably would be, wouldn’t it?

He sighed, shaking his head.

He had walked through camp. Through the courtyard, the training area, the temple. He had stopped in front of his would-be father, but only for a second. He couldn’t think of his past any more.

That wasn’t the Liam that came back from Antarctica.

He was someone new.

Burned away was the fortified frostborn, and in the puddle chaos bubbled.

He had walked through the citizen’s houses, passed the lake of lost souls, and finally, he found himself in the small, tucked away cemetery. He strode through the different headstones, reading one or two, before he had decided this wasn’t the place to do it either. He really wasn’t sure what to do, but then… It was like he knew all along what he had to do. What she’d like in exchange. She wanted them to bicker amongst themselves, right, to toil and writhe until they were stagnant. Unable to move forward with their goal, but stay stuck in the mud they created for themselves. 

He could help with that. And, sadly, Liam had to admit it wouldn’t be that far out of his character to do so, either. He scowled at the ground, since he was watching his feet, and as he looked up to see where his legs had brought him, he almost laughed. 

But that was a long-con game. She needed something immediate, and he had it gripped in his hand. A rolled piece of parchment, tied with a purple ribbon. 

He was standing in front of the offering brazier in the middle of the houses, and it was almost two in the morning. Most people should be in bed - at least he hoped. He didn’t really care, though, how seen he was in the moment. 

He had lie after lie ready to explain away what he was doing. He had thought too much about what he had to do, who he had to use, and what it meant in the long run. He wasn’t brave. He was selfish. Liam Castillo would protect himself before the others.

He held the parchment up, and he whispered into the frozen darkness. “I’ll sow chaos, like you want, between them,” he started, gritting his teeth, “I have a plan for the amulet, too. They’re preparing to go on another trial soon, and I have to seem like I tried to get a location to one.” 

His voice trailed off, and his purple eyes glinted in the darkness. The chaotic energy in him is breathing out of him. It was easy, it felt natural. Particles of purple crystals, a chaotic form of ice, piercing along his arm and down to the scroll. 

A scroll of where camp was; undetectable spell or not, if Eris knew the location of Olympus, with a map to follow. She’d find it. 

And it would be defenseless soon.

“You’ll need this to find us,” he stated, “And I need a location or a trial. One for one.” 

Then, Liam dropped the map to Olympus in the offering brazier, and he watched as the flames erupted around it. But they weren’t a blazing orange. 

They were an all-consuming purple.

[frczenspine]

knightmaring​:

“You sure?” Hudson asks again, his expression morphing into an exaggerated mirror of the one etched into Liam’s. “You sounded really mad earlier.” While he didn’t really know the kid all that much, he’s never seen him so on edge here at camp and so angry at someone for their own beliefs. “Well, maybe not mad, but…” he cocks his head, eyes taking in the kid’s features. “In pain?” Hudson reaches out, nudging him with his elbow. “Come on, talk to me. Everyone seems really bummed. I take it saving the town didn’t go as planned?”

--

he shook his head. liam shivered. no - nothing went according to their plan. everything had gone right for her, though, and that made liam’s stomach flipflop over itself. he chewed on his bottom lip, fingers trying to pop one another in his nervousness. hudson was everything to liam’s plan. the beginning, the end - it was all hudson. he looked away, unable to hold the other’s gaze, and shook his head. “no, nothing went right, hudson,” he frowned, blinked a couple of times. he didn’t have to pretend to be scared when he thought of antarctica- he genuinely was. but he needed hudson to feel sorry for him, feel like he needed protecting, “she was three steps ahead of us. she....we have no chance.”

[frczenspine]

scarrfacezik​:

Zikki’s own eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Know what?” Was there more to the story of the kiss than just simple shenanigans? Suddenly Zikki didn’t feel like teasing was the right approach. What if Liam had been pining over Malachi for months and finally found a way to break out and confess his feelings? “How serious is it?” he whispers, assuming they were talking about feelings. 

--

liam looked at zikki incredulously. was he really not in the know like everyone else? he frowned, hugging his own chest tightly, trying to hold himself together. sure, he had accepted this new part of his life. he just hated talking about it to the others. they asked questions. questions were dangerous for him. he shuddered, “it’s pretty fucking serious, zikki. i-” he swallowed, licked his lips and shook his head. “nevermind, don’t worry about it.”

[frczenspine]

arinowicki​:

“ No one’s asking you to leave, drama. ” He brought a hand up as though that would potentially stop him from disappearing after such traumatic events happened felt like something that could never be reversed. “ Why don’t you just get into one of these tubs here with me and relax? One, we really don’t know each other at all and two, you get to be exactly who you are with me since I didn’t know the you before. ” He hoped that would be enough to get the other to consider. “ I’m Ari, son of Nike. ” Extending his body out and placing a hand for the other to shake if he so decides to. 

--

the old liam would have snapped back. the old liam would have immediately bristled and lashed back. however, the new liam, the current liam, simple sighed. he shook his head, “you’ve clearly got the place occupied.” he took another step back the way he came, but then stopped. son of nike - that was news to him. wasn’t nike the victory goddess? his mind churned, gears clinking against each other as his plan started to take on more twists and turns. perhaps hudson wasn’t the only one liam could use to his benefit. he sighed, again, and turned back towards the other and the baths steaming. he started heading over, taking off articles of clothing as he did so, dropping them with no care for their safety. he was naked before he reached the tub, but he got in as he shivered from the cold. 

“liam. son of bo-” he stopped himself, wincing, “just liam.” he finished.

[frczenspine]

izykxvissar​:

he had been in his houseboat keeping to himself when he heard the door open. hand flung out and grabbed his trident he kept near him at all times, gripping it tightly with one hand. ever since he had arrived at camp he had been thrown into a world of the unknown, unsure of what was lurking in every corner. still he was the type to not sit and wait for it to attack him, so izyk make the first move. turning the corner in his boat he slammed the boy up against the wall and growled deep in his chest. keeping him pinned against the wall with his forearm across liam’s collarbone, his ocean blue eyes resembled the waves during a storm as he growled, “what the fuck are you doing in my house?” 

--

he hadn’t expected someone to be inside, which was probably stupid of him in hindsight, but he let his limbs hang loosely at his side while being shoved against the wall. he hadn’t even tried to defend himself - he just let it happen. maybe - no, he didn’t let his mind go there. instead, he looked up at the burly man holding his windpipe down. he cocked an eyebrow, “didn’t realize anyone lived in something so dingy.” he said without emotion. he clearly believed it, but he probably wasn’t saying it to insult, just state fact. he shrugged, “you can let me go now. i’ll leave.”

[frczenspine]

marcos-ontherocks​:

heading back towards his room - he was needing to grab a few things before he was going to get his day started. marcos made it into mageia, taking what he needed from his stuff and walking out with a sadden expression to his features, something not a lot of people see or anyone sees due to marcos being good at hiding his real emotions.  once outside he looked over and spotted one of the new kids being bumped into. he couldn’t help but laugh as he walked over. “new more distracted and you would have knocked him out and that would have been such a waste - “ he teased them both as he watched the new kid bow and rush away. “oo - boo, we scared him away.” taking a sip of his drink he then put the object he just got from his room into his pocket. “ – hmm.” leaning forward he took a whiff of the others drink and then shook his head. “you know you can do better than that – “ nodding over to the others bottle. 

--

liam’s eyes watch marcos’ hands flail around with purpose, discarding something in his pocket, balancing the cup perilously with two fingers. his eyes trailed towards the other’s face, one eyebrow raised at the other’s lack of personal space. he gripped the neck of his bottle tighter, as if he was protecting it from getting ripped away from him. 

liam scowled, rolling his eyes, “this is good for me.” he was a bit defensive of his drink of choice. the burn was what he was after, not necessarily the taste. he breathed through his nose, “i don’t want better, marcos.” he took a step to the left, intent on walking passed the other. he had too much on his mind for jovial partying antics. 

“you should check on the newbie,” he sweeps his hand off towards the runaway new kid, as if giving the other a reason to go the opposite direction liam was headed. 

[frczenspine]

wrxn-blxkely​:

—҉

Starlight often radiated a glow that was less inviting as it was forgiving. Stars above washed the night of it’s darkness, allowing pockets of hope or curiosity to pool in them like beacons for others. In small ways, when it counted, Wren lived up to his mothers placements and found his heart beating like the cosmic waves that shelter those who graced the sky with their intentions. 

Liam was but a son like them, regardless of the darkness that plague him and though his mood was warranted Wren’s softness did come with a short slack. “I’m not because it isn’t…not to sound dramatic but I can’t imagine how hurt you feel, which makes me feel sicker because of that.” 

Noctua seemed distracted by an object at the leg of Liam’s bed that he hopped off, leaving room for Wren to sprawl out behind Liam. Like a big spoon hovering over a bowl, Wren didn’t touch Liam but let himself know he was laying close—

“Forcing myself around you? Do I look like Beau.” small joke but he sighed, “I just want to be here in any capacity that you might need. So if it’s laying in the dark, not facing each other, I can queue up Brand New and just close our eyes.”

--

liam rolled his eyes, even though he knew the other wouldn’t seethe gesture. his body language, though, he hoped, would be enough to let wren know his stance on the matter. he didn’t want people to feel sorry for him. he felt sorry enough for himself; they didn’t need to look at him like he’s a kicked pup unable to defend for himself. 

even if it were true.

he scoffed, shaking his head and squeezing the pillow in his arms a little tighter. he felt the heat form wren’s body behind him, and liam had to fight against the urge to lean back against him. he lay rigidly on his side, falling in more on himself. 

“i don’t think you’re beau,” he winced, hoping his body didn’t also, when he thought of the way beau interrogated him in the infirmary. he deserved it, but that realization and understanding didn’t dull the sharpness of the memory.

he sighed, turning to look at wren, but he did it carefully. he didn’t want to get any closer or touch the other. 

“y’know what i could use?” he asked, voice hoarser when whispered, “a cookie.”

[frczenspine]

new people were coming from every direction. which, liam supposed was for the best. he was expecting a new son of boreas to come and take his spot any day now, so why wouldn’t the other gods also start choosing children to come to the massacre pile. he sighed, tried to avoid them all, and he had just snagged a bottle of ambrosia laced vodka and headed back towards mageia when he ran into one of the new kids. he frowned, taking a step back from the body he had bumped into.

“sorry.” he mumbled, trying to step passed the other without another word. he didn’t know how to mingle anymore. he was just trying to keep his head down at this point. why bother the new kids with his trauma? and...he was sober, which wasn’t a pleasant way to meet liam at any point in his life. 

@marcos-ontherocks

[frczenspine]

he hadn’t been to his spot since he got back. he felt like he would tarnish it with whatever the fuck was happening inside him. he didn’t want to do that. he was tainted enough without taking the last thing that connected him to his mother...his mortal mother...down with him. he turned away from the bolder outcropping and towards the other side of the lake. he didn’t know there had been a houseboat parked there...until now. he trudged towards it, maybe it would have a decent view off the stern. he didn’t realize someone lived there, so he just walked straight through the door...

@izykxvissar

[frczenspine]

wrxn-blxkely​:

—҉

Dismissive but tender, Wren moved through the room like a mother lingering in hopes he’d speak. “To do what?” feigning ignorance he moves to the edge of the bed, “—Make sure a friend of mine is okay…or the part where I have the biggest urge to clean your room?” in the room the mage shielded Noctua’s eyes; like a child rather than an owlbear. 

The son of stars was often more delicate than asked for, knowing well that he neither was wise enough to cure how Liam felt nor had the answers but compared to the roster of demigod Liam could turn to…Wren did hope he was someone high on the list. 

“Trust me…one cuddle with this feathery, beautiful fuck you’ll see how nice it is.” he sits ar the edge now, gently plopping his cub between them. “He’s fed and everything, so he’s extra docile.”

“my room is clean,” he said, turning in his bed so his back faced the other. he gripped the pillow in his arms tighter to his chest. it felt like caving in. he didn’t want wren to see him like this, to show him pity, when he had been so stupid, so pathetic, so... he swallowed, tried to breathe, but the pain his chest only made him shiver. he shook his head at him, even though liam couldn’t see the starborn. 

“you don’t have to act like everything’s okay,” he let the words fill the room, bounce off the wall he was staring at too intently. he didn’t want to be around the owlbear, that only reminded him of what he lost, or around the nice people like wren and dean, who would only give him sympathy and pity. it hurt too much. 

he didn’t deserve any of it. 

especially with the promise he had kept hidden in the darkest part of his heart. 

“you don’t have to force yourself to be around me.”

[mockcry]

the bath houses were so calming. the workers there truly knew how to knead his muscles, get inside and really massage his cramping aches from all of the training he’d been doing the past week or so. ari knew this was serious so he took it so, his eyes closed but his breathing focused on relaxing and making sure the worker cold do her job. camp was a roulette, make it there and survive is all that they knew what to do and what was told they had to accomplish. and so at least for ari, he complied. 

“ fancy seeing you here.” he teased, spotting liam as he walked in curious if he felt any different after the announcement has been made that he’s not simply the son of boreas anymore.

@frczenspine​

[frczenspine]

liam was in a hoodie, a jacket over that, and sweatpants. the most clothes he could ever remember being in, and yet he still shivered. he was still cold. days after coming home, and they swore he was fully mended. perfectly demigodly again, just...he wasn’t the same. was everyone this cold all the time? how had he not noticed before? he slowly made his way through to the bath houses, where the steam beckoned him. he hoped it would warm him up, but somehow he doubted it. 

even his nightmares were cold now.

he almost jumped out of his skin when the voice pierced the darkness, and his eyes squinted to see who it belonged to. he frowned. just his luck.

“i’ll leave,” he said, turning around to head back the way he came. 

[frczenspine]

lcthallust​:

“for you to wake up.” beau kicks the side of the cot once more, this time a little more forceful, to jostle liam awake. cobalt eyes narrow at the former son of boreas. agathys’ revelation leaves him with plenty of questions, many of which can’t wait until he’s healed properly. “were you lying to agathys or just omitting some of the facts about what happened? she just let you live?” he doesn’t believe it. he hates that his dna was rewritten, but she let him live and that either means she wants something or she has plans for him. “i don’t want to have to kill you, liam. i really don’t. but if you’re a threat to the rest of them.” his voice trails off, making it completely clear what he’s willing to do to keep camp godspeed safe. 

--

“i’m up,” he croaked out, with a pale imitation of his usual sarcasm. he then looked up at beau like he was just some guy off the street and not someone that had every right to murder liam right here, right now. he had left something out, but he wasn’t going to tell him that. he wanted to live, after all. that’s why this had all happened to him. “then kill me,” he finally said, shrugging, “you’ll never trust what i say anyway.” everything was void of emotion, and his eyes trailed to the ceiling behind beau’s head. he fell deeper into the cot, as if he was just merely accepting the fate that beau had deemed worthy. whatever it was; but something in liam knew beau wouldn’t actually kill him if the son of aphrodite believed he had given up himself. 

[scarrfacezik]

@frczenspine

“Hey, Casanova,” Zikki grins, turning on his heel when he sees Liam walking past him. It was a fine night to bother a fellow demigod after all. “Glad you all survived the quest. Let me guess - the discussion and arguing about who gets to go was worse than the actual quest, wasn’t it?” Since everyone came back alive and in once piece, Zikki figured it’s about time to make fun of their collective organization skills. “So, you and Malachi. That was… unexpected.”

[frczenspine]

liam couldn’t help the eyebrow that rose on his forehead. he had thought the news about him - specifically because of what it was - would have spread through this place like the plague. most people were avoiding him already, so he figured his theory had been correct. so why didn’t zikki know? “excuse me?” he asked, tone almost deadpan...but it didn’t even at that much emotion, “you really don’t know?” his eyes, purple now, were almost glazed over. as if liam’s body was simply going through the motions of living and wasn’t actually alive. 

[knightmaring]

@frczenspine​

“Hey!” Hudson chirps as he catches up to the smaller demigod. “You seemed kinda upset last night in the group chat…” The chat moved fast, too fast for Hudson to keep up with, and he wasn’t about to scroll up just to see what he missed. Then there was the added fact that he wasn’t particularly close to any of them to get the full deets on what happened on the quest. “You okay?”

[frczenspine]

his eyes narrowed as hudson approached him. not out of malice, but out of suspicion. had he figured it out? was eris’ request publicized? he felt like it was printed on his forehead, but he stuffed his hands into his oversized jacket’s pockets. liam was in warm clothes. he hadn’t felt warm since before antartica. “sure, sure,” he shrugged, “what’s up?” he tried to play it cool.

[sunchild-dean]

After what had happened in Antarctica, Dean knew Liam would need his space. It was a traumatic experience for all of them, more so any anything they had come across. Even now, the image of Liam’s frozen body curled up, lifeless, it probably would have haunted the red head’s dreams if he had managed to fall sleep long enough to have a dream. He’d wanted to visit him in the infirmary, but Agathys had made it clear that the last thing he needed was a parade of curious or sympathetic demigods interrupting his healing process. After that first day, however, the witch would have to do a lot more than threaten Dean’s own wellbeing to keep him away. 

With a bottle of his best friend’s favorite liquor in one hand, he poked his head into the doorway. Truth be told, Dean still had no idea what had actually happened to Liam, not really. Sure there were rumors, but nothing concrete. When he saw the other male laying there, looking almost helpless in bed, he couldn’t help but that tinge of guilt. Usually it was Liam who did whatever he could to protect him, and it was that night in Antarctica, he needed Dean’s protection, but he was… what? Sleeping? “Hey, Li…” he forced a smile as he sauntered over to the other’s bedside and sat on the edge. “How are you feeling?” While he tried to seem happy, optimistic, his voice cracked, and his smile did not reach his eyes. 

@frczenspine​

[frczenspine]

his world, that had been starting to build itself back up, put the pieces that had been knocked out of him back together, had been shattered with one swing. he hadn’t felt the loss until he had woken up the second time in the infirmary. the first, he had only felt cold, pain, and heat in his lungs - which hadn’t been used as much as they should have been and protested loudly. he had chugged a ton of water and fallen back asleep. the second time, though, he was on some sort of magical pain killer, and the reality of what had happened to him - what had been taken away - settled on him like a suffocating blanket. 

he didn’t want to see anyone, so he figured not moving a muscle would force the doctors to keep him there. agathys’ warning had worked...mostly. a stray visit from beau was the only encounter liam had to endure so far. but the sound of footsteps roused him from his half-asleep state. was a nurse coming back with their magic? he opened his eyes, hopeful for a hit, and everything in him seemed to fall apart again. 

it was dean.

the last person liam wanted to see pain and pity and fear in. he swallowed, licked his lips, but didn’t say anything as the redhead walked to his bed. he blinked, tears springing to the side of his eyes at the way dean’s voice cracked.

“i’m fine,” he lied, “you shouldn’t be here.”

[cfserpents]

Was it wrong to beat up someone who was undeniable frostbitten, frozen, a few days ago? Was it wrong to unleash an anger over their group’s folly in the arctic? Right or wrong didn’t matter; only how well he felt afterwards. Vio came forward, approaching Liam without any greeting, gesture, nor other semblance of introductions. His cold stare’s somewhat softened by the owlbear in his arms as Sorin cliped by his side. 

Many things crossed his mind and none of them were kind. The best thing he could do, at the end, was give him a simple sentence. “You stopped it from killing me.”

@frczenspine

[frczenspine]

he looked up at viorel. something in him felt relieved, and he sighed softly, releasing the breath he hadn’t known he was holding. viorel wouldn’t act like the rest of them; he wouldn’t look at liam with false pity or give empty platitudes. he would give this stone cold stare void of emotion. it would have only been better if there was some anger lingering in his eyes.

liam shakes his head, “you would’ve done the same for me.” his voice hoarse and croaky. but it’s all he says, and he doesn’t even stir from the position his lay on the cot.