Missing You (Day6 Sungjin)
The night was empty. Again. She hated this feeling. Despite having her husband in the house, it was never the same again. Those waves of laughter which filled their entire home, those warm cuddling sessions, those moments of adventuring the world outside together. If she would rewind back to the time a few months back, Sungjin would be wrapping his arms around her from behind as he held her close on the bed currently. He would place light kisses on her neck, whispering sweet nothings to her.
"You know you’re the best thing that can ever happen in my life right?“ The sentence used to roll out from his tongue easily.
Now? She was only staring at the space beside her as the moonlight shone on it, somehow emphasising the emptiness that it portrayed. Feeling the bedsheets, she wished it was his hands instead - intertwining her fingers together with his and letting him peck on every one of them. She wished that it was his eyes instead that she was looking at - his dark orbs which gazed at her as if he wished to delve deeper into her soul - not the full moon which was at its peak tonight. It really felt so cold without him again.
She wasn’t aware how the situation spiralled to this. She only knew that both of them had been constantly at each other’s throats for the past few weeks, validating statements every now and then. Being in a relationship with him often involved banters with one another, but that was another whole new level of involving doubts and seeds of mistrust. Meeting him nowadays would always end up accusing one another and the shouting continued. Finally, he had enough so he decided it would best if they minimise the interaction and he opted to sleep in the guest room while she took the main bedroom.
She was seriously tired of arguing with him, but she wished that he was by her side instead and just be there where she could reach out to him.
~~~
The night was torturing. Again. Sungjin despised this feeling. Knowing that she was beside his room, he couldn’t help wonder whether this was what she wanted. He knew that their marriage was on the rocks, but no one dared to address it. Accusations after accusations were thrown at each other instead. There was never a time when they would sit down and talk in peace nowadays. He missed those times back when they were contented with each other’s presence. Those times when he held close to her - whether on the bed or the couch - and she never failed to turn and face him just so she could sneak a quick peck on his lips, leaving him a mess and wanting for more. He could just be moody in a moment and the next minute, he broke into a smile again when she kissed him. He always had fun teasing her about how she often tried her best to reach for his lips as she tip-toed to her best ability. She looked so small and he felt the need to protect her.
"I love you so much that you become the reason why I live.” She confessed at one point of time when it was just the two of them lying on the same bed, embracing each other with those pair of eyes staring at him with such warmth.
Now? Her eyes were cold as ice, not bearing any emotions when she looked at him. He couldn’t find the warmth he was seeking for anymore. Every time they crossed paths in the house, she just glanced at him and her eyes would soon be focused back to whatever errands that she had. There were no words exchanged, nothing at all. Honestly, he was tired of living like this but it was much better than shouting against one another and leaving her with hot tears. He swore he hated himself during those moments. He really wanted to comfort her and apologise for what he had done, but he was unsure whether it would piss her off even further and noticing how she would always build up her walls again by going inside the room with a harsh shut of the door, he thought it would be best to leave her alone. But then again, he couldn’t help but wonder whether the suggestion which he came up with was the best decision for the both of them. He was seriously killing himself slowly without her presence near him.
He had enough of this, and no matter how reckless he was, he was going to make sure that their relationship worked.
~~~
Once she heard the click of the door, she froze. Her back was facing the door so the intruder didn’t notice that her eyes were still wide open. She was literally holding her breath as she heard his movement but once she heard the sigh which left his lips, she knew it was Sungjin. She was puzzled as to why he would enter the room when all this while, both of them have been forming boundaries. Her muscles tensed as he climbed on the bed. She honestly didn’t know what to expect, but she was caught by surprise when he hugged her from behind.
“I missed you so much that it’s driving me crazy, baby.” He muttered as he rested his head on the crook of her neck. He kept apologising for everything, even though she admitted that it was partially her fault as well. Tears of remorse escaped from his eyes, and she wanted to turn around just so she could wipe it away but he didn’t allow that as his grip tightened. She couldn’t help sobbing as well as it pained her to hear him cry. The last time she heard him cry was when his parents died in accident years ago. He rarely let out his tears so this must have affected him so greatly.
She stubbornly turned around and immediately wiped away the tears using her thumb gently. Her apologies were incoherent as she fought back her tears. Sungjin took the opportunity to remove the tears that escaped as well, and the corners of his mouth lifted in a soft smile as it had been long since she ever showed any emotions in front of him. He kept patting on her back at a steady rhythm as he embraced her closer to him. It felt good to be by his side again. "We’re going to make this work, sweetheart. I’ll be here for you.“ He said in a hushed tone close to her ear.
