The last bloody pariah

I'm shit with these descriptions things, Karen can go on for ages and shit bout stuff. Erm--I'm Freddie Mclair. Everything's cool, y'know? Chill as fuck as long as you've got some spliff, a pretty girl and mates round, innit?

[gracieeeblood-deactivated201405]

Such a boring night!

Ugh

[freddieaintdeady]

I've got spliffs up to my arse in quantity if you want some. Might not make shit any better, but hey, can't make you feel any worse about life bein' bland as balls.

[troubled-effy-blog]

Bollocks.

[troubled-effy-blog]

Things aren’t the same anymore, Freddie. You fucking died, I was about to fucking die as well. We haven’t seen each other for three years, what did you expect? I’m—- I’m trying. I’m putting aside my problems for you, Freddie. You get that? For you. You think I’m doing fine? Fuck you, Freddie. Just— fuck you. I’m trying to be normal for you but you’re just not— you. You’re not Freddie, alright?

You don’t have to know me. Don’t get to know me. I don’t want you around me anymore cause—… You keep pushing me away and I’m not sure I can handle this. Not again. So you can fuck off. Okay? Just— fuck off like you always do.

[freddieaintdeady]

That's the thing though, Eff, you can't just put aside anythin'. As a couple, like, your problems are meant to be my problems.There's meant to be some unity between us, not secrets. Not...shame, Effy. How the fuck am I meant to know any better when I never fuckin' see you? I bet everybody else in Bristol--Keith, even fuckin' Keith doesn't get left out--has seen you. You need privacy--I get it. I also get that...that you were so secure about our relationship that apparently snoggin' my best friend's brother counts as fuck all. When I'm given somethin' like that, there's no reason in hell why I shouldn't keep pushin' you away, Effy. I stay too long and I get attached...I get trapped. 

There's too much of you in...everythin'. I can't breathe--and I know. I'll come back. Again. Because I love you and it's the only thing in me. But...Eff, it's the only thing in me. I'm--try to understand? If I don't fuck off for the good of the earth right now, I'll never let you go. You're a subject of change...I'm not. 

[misfitsexual]

[sienna-mclairx]

No, ignore the fact that I’m in my bra and knickers. I’ll chuck on a t-shirt now. You got one I can borrow? I won’t bother you with my breasts or physique then. 

Actually, we uh… we need to talk. Paddy, he-… we broke up. He cheated on me twice with two different girls. I just, needed someone to talk to. Alex has gone walk about, and I haven’t seen him for a week or so, and I just don’t know what to do with myself. 

[freddieaintdeady]

Look, fuck it...just take the one I'm wearin'. It's not cold outside, so here, cover all up those lady bits. Seriously, I'm not in the mood for takin' out another forty Bristol's Boners in a day. Smackin' dick makes a lad tired...let's...that never happened, 'kay? Mum's the word and all that, right? If Karen found out...she'd crucify my balls. Make Jesus look like a right pussy.

You know I'm always gonna be here for you Si. I might be a bit shit at it times, but my heart's always in it. Wait--Paddy's...how the fuck long, Sienna? How long has the prick been...fuck, it's not even worth it. He's...shit, he's not a bad guy, not really but...that shit isn't cool. It's..disappointin'.

Sienna, you know I'm gonna spew out the whole "You're beautiful and deserve so much better" passed down cousin speech but...it's true, Si.

Now, come here. Hugs are in order.

[sienna-mclairx]

Do you mind? You shouldn’t be here, I’m trying to get dressed. 

[freddieaintdeady]

Oh...shit.

Don't mind me, I'll err--come back, come back later, Si. I'm gonna keep the incest regulations in tact, no illegal risky business.

[yokka0]

Visit Original Link

[becook-deactivated20140629]

Yea, it’s just—man— shit— shit happened, I did—-I missed you mate. I really fucking missed you, like every day. 

I’m sorry, for everything. For being such a wanker all the time, you were just trying to look out for me and—-fuck— shit I just. I missed you man, I love you. I love you so fucking much. It’s good to see you again. It’s so fucking good.

[freddieaintdeady]

Jesus, hardly back for five fuckin' minutes and I'm already fallin' for your crocodile tears. I--I'm pissed--I'm furious, I am...and even that's--that's a fuckin' understatement, Cook. You just...runnin' away...I get it, okay? I get that whatever went the fuck on inside of you, you needed an exit. Doesn't make me hate you any less, but it doesn't stop me from fuckin'...lovin' you more, mate. 

You saved my stoner arse. As much as I wanna hurl your balls into the sea, that kinda cancels it all out. So, it's--it's not okay, Cook. It's--it can be alright, though. Sorry's alright. That can be for the best right now.

[live--andletdie]

I’m never one for sticking to one thing - always trying new things, keeps the heart young. Secrecy also, apparently, but I’m not sure what good that did for anyone, you? I’d rather a bit a roughing up behind closed doors, you know.

And listen, Freddo. Stop helping yourself to the sodding vino, alright? You might have been one of Cook’s cling ons or whatever, but that’s no excuse for belittling yourself to some sort of lady boy.

[freddieaintdeady]

You're like your Cook in that respect--bit of arson, bit of porn, fuck, throw in a bong that challenges King Kong's cock--keep up the youth shit. Like, it's okay out there, not all that scary. Can't say that I'd wanna throw the towel in and admit that bein' an adult is all licorice all sorts. Fuck, if bein' roughed up helps you find who the fuck you are, these days I'd say go for it, mate. Go for it.

Why the fuck would I deprive myself of that mint nectar? I'll have you know that it's done wonders for my tits. Really helped 'em find their footin'. Now, mind gettin' me my usual?

[becook-deactivated20140629]

Yeah dream. Guess you could call it that Freds. Wish it really was. Be nicer.

[freddieaintdeady]

Mate, where the fuck did you pick up the stoicism act? Cook I knew couldn't go two minutes without sayin' a cock joke, much the less showin' the whole world his ball sack. 

Just 'cos you skipped out doesn't mean that--...you fuckin' know.

[oonachaplinsarchive-deactivated]

[troubled-effy-blog]

Bollocks.

[troubled-effy-blog]

That’s what, Freddie? Spit it out.

Well done, Sherlock Holmes. Looks like you had it all figured out from the start. I’m actually amazed you didn’t say any of this shit sooner. You usually start the bullshit the same day we finally make the decision to try. Congratulations for being patient.

Don’t lie. 

[freddieaintdeady]

Or what? You're gonna pull out my weave or some shit? This--this is exactly what I mean, Eff. We--recycle this and whenever...whenever somethin' goes down, we end up bickerin' like kids. I'm not here to size my self up for your approval, Effy. But that's what it's always gonna fall back to, innit? You. That you're tryin' as fuckin' hard as you can to keep us together...fuck off, Effy. I haven't seen you for weeks. Yeah, granted that's partly my fault, but...--where the fuck where you? Pissin' nowhere. If I wanted a committed relationship with myself, I'd never have let my balls drop when I saw you that mornin' before College. 

I can sit here and say that I love you--fuck, I fuckin' do, Effy, I--I've loved you too much, that's true. But I'd be lyin' if I said I know you anymore. Cos' that's one lie too fuckin' big for me to even believe. We're goin' in seperate directions...let's not fuck around.

[live--andletdie]

No smoking indoors. Hop it before I put that out by perusing the nub down your esophagus.

[freddieaintdeady]

Seems like you're well due for a fag findin' a home down your esophagus, mate.

Hypocrisy ain't one of your finer points, but hey, effort for tryin' somethin' new.

[becook-deactivated20140629]

Glad to see some things never change. Place looks just like I left it, same Bristol as always…

[freddieaintdeady]

Yeah, everythin's one soddin' dream after another.

[troubled-effy-blog]

Bollocks.

[troubled-effy-blog]

I— I don’t know. We’re trying… right?

[freddieaintdeady]

What the fuck, Eff? Don't you get it? This isn't tryin', it's holdin' the fuck on to somethin' that's...--

We've just been so far apart recently, and we both have our own lives, our own stuff goin' on which I get, I understand that and it's cool. That's cool, but I dunno, we both haven't made a visible effort to keep this thing the fuck alive. 

I love you, Effy. I love you. Sometimes I feel like the bullshit factor of this relationship is pulling me apart. I'm selfish, I know but...I can stand that. 

[troubled-effy-blog]

Bollocks.

[troubled-effy-blog]

Let me hear it then. I’m all about listening to bitch fits, me.

I love you, yeah? Don’t forget it.

[freddieaintdeady]

Excusin' all the lovey dovey shite aside, I'm gettin' to the point where I don't understand what we're doin' with this relationship, and I--I want out. 

Now I've told you. Now you fuckin' know.

[im-cookmate]

Hey

[freddieaintdeady]

Surprise bitch.

[troubled-effy-blog]

Bollocks.

[troubled-effy-blog]

I won’t forget.

I’ve missed you, Freddie. You and that stutter of yours.

[freddieaintdeady]

I'm tryin' to throw a bitch fit if you don't mind, Eff. My period's bein' a pain in the arse again, 'specially with your lovely arse away. 

I've missed you, Effy. I've missed everythin' 'bout you.