Lonely Writer

Writing story telling, fictional, and fantasy stories. I also write poetry. My hands and my pen are limitless.

[thequotespot]

"Your past is a lesson, not a life sentence."

[thoughtkick]

“And even if we never talk again, please remember that I’m forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me.”

— Chasing Amy

[sittinginstars]

No Sleep

No sleep.

Numb brain.

Cars lurch forward as if it isn’t only I who has awoken,

but the whole world too.

Loss weighs heavy on untempered shoulders,

pressing them downward,

forcing me to walk bowed beneath its weight.

Half an echo of my former self,

it was as though another held the wheel.

I was aware of movement,

yet held no control over distance, nor speed.

My body is tired—

it aches, it protests.

I long for slumber.

For rest.

My head sears with heat,

thoughts and memories burning away:

some good, some bad,

all dissolving into the eternal ether.

Too many thoughts in these dark hours.

So I throw open the curtains.

Eyes blink against the sudden blaze.

The morning sun scorches the night’s fragments,

burns them clean away.

No sleep.

No rest.

[remanence-of-love]

[weltenwellen]

Fariha Róisín, How to Cure a Ghost

[tangledflxwers]

THE END OF SUMMER SMELLS

LIKE CHARCOALED GRIEF /

scraped my knees / from crawling / my way /

through the turmoil / of my mind / left a

bloodied trail / dripping on the earth / i will gut everything /

that i am / if it means that / i can

start over / to climb inside / the stickiness /

of my mother’s womb / a suffocating warmth /

where i may rest / for a while. / my existence

is a tomb / confined / to vampirism / i have

become / the darkness / i am cold once again /

blackened frostbite / in the heat of peak july /

i am still picking the rocks / from the crevices /

of my skin / i wasted august / trying to find

myself / my brittle bones / are shriveled / hungry

/ for a feeling / i’ve not quite / tasted / yet. /

starved / for the newness of september /

[clumsyprincessworld]

The scent

Did you borrow cupids bow

The day the arrow pierced my skin?

As I desire nothing more

Then, the sweet gift to breathe you in

The flush aroma of cologne

Stirs in the air at your arrival

A pulse in my heart that feels new

A warmth I didn't feel before you

This, my dear is love,

And it's all I can do.

[exitwound]

The experience of wanting to live is actually extremely painful and possibly excruciating and possibly so bad that the body muffles it and renders it an inaccessible feeling. I know because i just touched it and it electrocuted me

[wovi]

[havingapoemwithyou]

eight p.m. by Matthew Dickman

[freemefrommymisery]

My evil prince

I saved a wolf once. Only it turned out it was not a world but a werewolf. And that act of kindness proved to be the worst mistake yet. I thought that I was trusting you with everything that I had. I thought that I could trust you with everything that I wanted. I never thought that I would be saving a werewolf from themselves. You wanted to be this strong person. You were a charming prince. I was trying to be the princess and save you. However, you showed your true colors today. I thought that I could trust you with everything. I wanted to depend on you when I was down. You saved me from my witch mother. You were the one who guided me through my journey of being a princess. You were my savior. You were my God. I thought that I could trust you everything and everyone saw you as this handsome prince with his cute princess. Everyone was cheering you on when you saved me from my evil mother. My mother used to tell me that I was not. You were always the one to tell me that I was beautiful. I wanted this happy ending with you. I thought that I would have a child with you already. It has been about three years since you have saved me from my mother. I was praying for you to come through. You came at the right time. Well, I thought that you did come at the right time. You betrayed me at my lowest point. Why would you be something that you knew that you were not? Why would you have fooled me? I should’ve just let you be. I thought that you would save me from my misery. Now, you are adding onto it. I am not sure if I should trust you or be with you. I am not sure if I should ride with you and trust you. What if you eat me alive? What if you throw me over a river? You were a charming prince. I really saw your true light when you revealed yourself as a werewolf. I wonder when this happened. I wonder when you got to the point where you had to hide your façade. I really wanted to save you from everything. I wanted to take the pain away. I wanted you to shine through the roughness of life and through our bearings. You have saved me. You have saved my life. Do you think that I deserved everything that has happened? After everything that we have been through. I am still questioning myself. I am questioning my entire life. Maybe I am idolizing you. I am worshipping you, my good liar king. I love you still, although you are a liar. I might be delusional to your love. But I love you.

[lena-oleanderson]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[zeroandvoid]

Burnout

They tell me to stay grounded

But everything is rotten down here

Touching grass doesn't bring me any happiness

But there are nice walls and screens

You can see some being shot

Faking their injuries, playing on our pity

All we learned is how to be closed off

They have time to lie, we only have time to fear

Misinformation rules the world

Empathy isn't even competing for the throne

I have to constantly feel my bones

To believe I'm not wrong

To believe I'm still here on earth

Who am I? Just another entity

Whose body hurts constantly

How am I? Discouraged and weary

I don't know about me

But at least I know the burnout is real

Diana M.

[mournfulroses]

Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Leonard Woolf, featured in The Selected Letters of Virginia Woolf

[freemefrommymisery]

Lonely at the club

I was all alone, nobody to talk to. My friends were at the bar discussing everything. They were talking about their boyfriends, their plans and everything in between. I love the fact that I was just listening on the sidelines of the club. The club was loud. My friends were just there talking. They were there smiling at the fact that they had their shit together. They had everything that they wanted in their life. They had a love life, they have money, and they have more friends. I was just there quiet and listening to the conversation. Some of my friends asked me what is wrong with me, but I did not want to answer truthfully. I told them that I am fine and that everything else was falling aligned. Even though that is a lie. I do not have everything aligned. I feel like the universe is punishing me for something that I have done. I am not sure what I have I done. I know that I can be a shitty person at times. I am not the best person to depend on. I do mess up at times, however, I do admit to my wrongs. I try not to think that I know everything because I do not. I am only in my early twenties. I have so much to learn.

My friends ordered some drinks. They were drinking long islands, which was tequila mixed with deep brown. That white and dark liquor mixed can make or break a person. I drink it from time to time; however, I do not drink it as often. But today, I decided to drink the same thing that everyone else was drinking. I was trying to see if I could either dance the night away. I wanted to drink the pain away. I drank the Long Island and tried not to make a face when I was drinking it. Wow was the Long Island so strong. I have not been drinking heavy before today. I drink the alcohol sip by sip. All my friends were still having conversations. I was watching them just speaking amongst themselves. I noticed that some of my friends were beautiful. Some of them had long curly hair. I really did like it. Some of them had full lips. I liked that as well. I always had a thing for women. I am bisexual. Woah, am I feeling this drink already? I wanted to be brave, but I took another Long Island drink. Wow, I can feel mostly the dark liquor in my tongue and throat. The bartender really does their job with these drinks. I feel a little tipsy. I saw my friends and they also looked tipsy. They were looking tipsier than me. I enjoyed seeing them laughing and being tipsy. It was incredibly fun. I get to drinking my second drink. I did not feel anything at first. I did not feel anything at first. What is going on? Why am I not feeling anything? Woah…

I saw nothing but the dark room. I was dancing my heart out. I was trying to see who is behind me. No one was dancing with me. I try to see the club lights shining in my eyes, but all I saw was darkness. All I saw was the pain in my eyes in the dark room. I think that the dance floor was not dark, it was just my mind. I was trying to see the light; however, I did not find the light. All I saw was the darkness on my life. As I was dancing, I felt something that did not felt right. Was it my energy? Was it the drinks that I was drinking? Something did not felt right. As I was dancing, I had a sad empty feeling. Like no one was around me to have fun with me. No one wanted to dance with me. I was extremely confused because I could of swore that I had a group of friends. As I was dancing, The group of “friends” were laughing. I saw big dark shadows just laughing at me. I was very confused at this. I kept dancing either way. I kept dancing until my feet were hurting. Dancing all of the pain away. The drink was really heavy in my system. It felt like I was floating but I was not. I was trying to put my feelings to the side. I was trying to put my feelings on the dance floor. I was trying to dance the pain away. All by myself. I still was feeling the darkness when I was dancing. Oh shit…..

I ran away from the dance floor. I ran away from my “friends”. I ran away from the club. I was crying like crazy. I was crying. I was just crying outside. I needed to let everything out. I felt drunk. I felt like I wanted to throw up but I did not. I was tearing up, crying like an animal. I was extremely sad. I could not bear the pain. Reality has now hit me. These are not my friends. They never were my friends. I was just a plus one to them. I was always trying to talk to them but then no one was trying to hear me. They never have called me. I have a feeling that they were making plans without me. I felt the sadness in me. I felt the couples that were watching me dance were laughing at me. I was just there dancing all by myself. I was still crying outside. I wonder what time is it. I had my phone in my pocket and my wallet. I was making sure to see where I was at. I was trying to get my emotions together however, it was way too hard for me to concentrate. I had to see what I was doing. I was crying until my eyes could not anymore. I had a lot of tears building up until this moment. I was still drunk. I cannot believe this. All this time, I was not their friends at all. I noticed something. They did not come outside to check on my wellbeing. They were laughing at me all this time. They were laughing at me. They did not even dance with me however, they were talking all within themselves. They were not even interested in what I had to say. I had lived such a lonely and sad life and to feel lonely and sad while you have people around you, well that is a different type of pain. That feels extremely different. That feels like a punch to the face. Wow.

I had my phone away. I had my Wallet in my pocket. I blocked everyone and got out of the group chat. I was not interested in what that group has to say or offer anymore. The loneliness creeps behind me. I go home to stare at the wall and thinks about everything. All of this pain and loneliness is a lot to bear. I stared into the wall…

[hadeshearted-deactivated2025090]

The Lie of Life

From the day we are born we are taught to dread death; That death is somehow the creation of evil. That death robs you of joy.

But it is life that lays down the bed of nails for you; Life makes you weary, but doesn't allow you the sleep. Life makes you sweat, bleed and cry.

But death is like the sweet slumber. Like the one a baby has when their bellies are full and they are in the comforting arms of their mother.

Death is not the pain but the release. Death is not the foe but a long lost friend.

[coolstrangerwhispers]

The Last Embrace.

We met beneath the bleeding dusk-lit skies, Where roses bloomed, yet thorns were all we knew. You spoke of love — but sorrow filled your eyes, As if your heart already bade adieu. Your hand in mine, a trembling, fading flame, We kissed like souls that knew the end was near. No vow could break the wheel of fate’s cruel game, No whispered dream could hold you longer here. The stars looked down, unmoved by what we lost, While night devoured what day could not defend. To love so deep, and yet to pay the cost Of watching love grow cold, and meet its end. Now all I hold is shadow, scent, and song A ghost of you that haunts the evening air. And though I walk this lonely world so long, I only live in memories we share.

11.05.2025