Daily Free Typing: May 5th 2014
20 minutes of free wiritng . No edits, I cnq see the mistakes I’m making as I type and I’m not allowed to chanfe them, ir rectify them at all, because it slows down my mind. I;m hoping I’ll get netter at this over time. It’s painful seeing all theses mistakes and knowing I can’t do anything about them. I have to kee- going theough, that’s kind of the point of gfree writing.
I wish I didn’t need to put musef through this, I wish I could quickly and easily et my thoughts from my mind to the poage without having to go through this process, but in recent tumes I haven’t been able to, so hewre I am.
Initially I started free writing on the page because , with a pen that is, I found it eaier to get my thoughts out. I don’t know if it’s because the computer screen makes you want to edit your work or why it is but it can be very frustrating just letting your mind run free, or at least treying to. I know the grammar is all over the 0-lpace there, but what can I do? I’m not allowed to go back and edit anything.
Essentially this is morte like free typing, forcing myself and learning how to type without editing and to do so efficiently without needing to constantly edit ad I’m going . This is be 20 mintuse a day, everyday, no editing allowed, in hopes that I can then start to pouer myself into more meaningful pieces that help my creative flow and force me to write without fear of judgement or embarrassment.
What is it about writing that brings all those feelings of self doubg and uncertainty to the serfice? Is it a complete lack of ability to proicess yoyr thoughts without being able to justify them? That sentence makes no sense, at all. I know it doesn’t and it’s going to read terribly. Wghty the fuck did my mind let me write surface as serfice? What’s going on in my brain?? I don’t know, im not allowed to stop and judge and process, I just have to write
I should state for the record, this is the writings of a screenwriter, someone who loves writing with a passion and yet, at the same time can’t bring myself to write in case what I’m writing is shit. That’s a terrible ostion to be in, so this is aimed at getting me out of that thought process, speeding my wirtign up as much as possivle and allowing myself to fail anfd ma ke mistakes. If I do this when I’m writing a script, I can fix it. That’s gthe good enws.
The paragreaph’s are fairly loose here; I diudn’t mean to use a semi colon there, my touch typing just isn’t as fsadt as I would like tit to be, theis is poarty of the problem and one of the reasons I have to do this. To see the moistakes and ti get used to tyoping as fast as the thoughts get out of my mind.
Should I write about anytjhig in particular? I have 20 minutes to get through, that’s not a lit of time in itself, especially when the porupse of this first ine is simlply to do it and get it out of the way so I can begin doing this at a fsater pace. I don’t want my figners to have to think so hard about what they’re doing. Wouldn’t that be nice>? I shoud do soe more touch typing lessons online, and really stik with them.
This whole year has been about becoming a better [erson. That’s the aim this year. To learn how to be a decent guy and to jnot take life too seriously, to get outside and meet friends, learn how to hve fun and also h0w to graft, how to owtk hard. Last year was tough, I was depressed, I couldn’t get a job, couldn’t catch a break and it ruined a very meaniginful relationship. That’s not completely true, I was already having problems in that relationship stemming from further problems; Intimacy issues. Rejection issues leading me to neglect someone I trulyt loved and who truly loved me backl, This is what this year is about, and this practice. Learning to grtow and to fight and to love and to give everything to the things thata matter and nothing to the things that din;t; If I can learn how to di that, or at least put myself on the right oatrh, and rid myself of bad habits whilst making myself open to new experiences and pushing myself as far as possible,, then the year can be considered a success. Every year should be a success, it’s why we live I think, to learn and grow. I tried learning Spanish this year but find it hard to stay focused, I think it’s because IO have had a porn addiction since Iwas about 13. We’ll get to that, and it won’t be pretty, but we will come to it in time.
I’\m putting this online, albeit anonymously, because I need to feel like I can be me without shame, I won’t be publishing who I am, but I will be publishing my thoughts, putting myself in the way of criticism and hoping I will learn frm it. Isn’t that what writing is all about? Definitely not, but it’s part if it, and that shouldn’t be overlooked.
So I will share, I will write from myt perspective, form my characters paerspective, hopefully I will get quick enough and good enough that it won’t have so mny typos, anfd I can write without my mind ohaving to work overtime. It would ne increivle to gust be able to lclsie my eyes anf yope anf know that my brina and hanfs are completely in sync. That was me attempting to do that. We have a long way to go clearly.
I swotree this whlilst listnenig to the new War on Drugs album, Its like if U2 were frinted by Bob Dylan. Imagine that1!!! WELL, YOU DON’T hacve to, fucking caps lock press by accident there, you can just listen to the war in drugs.
My timer just went off. First 20 minutes done.