One thing that I always question about myself is God. Do I believe? Should I believe? Am I supposed to believe? As I get older, the answers to these questions remain unanswered. I don’t care about others answers, I just want my own. Religion and politics are things I feel should never be spoken of unless you and whomever see eye to eye. Actually, I take that back. If people can be respectful of each others morals and values, then by all means, discuss. That’s where the real beauty lies. Respect. Communication. Optimism. Realism. I’ve been to Church, I’ve been to religion classes, I’ve attended a religious school, and the person I miss the most (great-grandmother) loved God more than anything. And here I am not sure if I feel the same. So, I call myself a non-theist. I believe in a higher power. Maybe it’s God. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s science. But, at least I can admit it. I feel like people can’t admit the same thing because of their family, friends, etc. And I also feel others just don’t take the time to think about it. Whatever the reason, I wish more people would form their own opinions. Not their “taught” opinions. I want to make it clear that I am not trying to offend anybody or what they believe. I just think people honestly don’t take the time to think about their true opinions. In fact, I think faith is a wonderful thing. The way people worship whatever god they choose is absolutely amazing. Which reminds me recently of the conversation I had with a couple new people. They are Christians. We got to talking about religion and they asked what religion I was. I said I was raised Catholic, but I believe I’m a non-theist for now. One guy said blatantly that he did not like Catholics or what they believe in right away. I sat there just listening because I’m a rational person and I understand everybody has different views and respect it, although he didn’t quite respect mine in a sense. Later on, the question “Would you tip a good looking waitress more than an ugly one?” to the guy that said he didn’t like Catholicism was asked. He answered yes. And all I could think of was “And he doesn’t like what Catholics believe?” The point I’m trying to make is not that he didn’t like the Catholic faith, but the fact that he claimed to be so Christian, yet wouldn’t tip an “ugly” waitress the same. This sounds like it really bothered me, but it didn’t. What got me was that I was thinking that I wasn’t surprised. Here I am, not sure of what faith I really belong to and this guy already knows his. But, when it comes down to it really doesn’t because if he had, he would have answered the question with no. Instead, he stuck with his true feelings and admitted it. Yes, I get it, nobody is perfect/everybody sins, yadadada. I just observe too often that people who claim to believe so deeply in their God and their religion, act completely opposite and still claim to believe in it. Why? I think it’s because their religion is who their family and friends want them to be. It’s who THEY want to be. Why can’t anyone truly be themselves? Not rely on their religion or god for life, forgiveness, and eternal life. People make mistakes. I don’t think they should always ask God for forgiveness, but they should forgive themselves and apologize to whomever they dissapointed, or even what they disappointed. People like me who don’t know what religion, or if, they belong to shouldn’t be judged for it. And neither should people that believe in nothing or something different. Because I know that I believe in a lot more good things than a lot of people I know who are so very “religious”. But, I don’t judge them. I think it’s great that people believe in anything at all. I believe in life. And I believe in feelings. I believe without feelings there would be no life. I believe that you should be good to others. You should always help others. You should not let your emotions control who you really are. You should never put someone down just because they put you down. You should tell people good things. You should be respectfully honest. You should never act immature towards someone because they have with you. You should love those around you without truly knowing them because they are what is real and right there. You should try to find beauty in every aspect of life, even the unattractive parts. You should always find peace within yourself. That is when you truly feel infinite.