We are no longer alone, waiting for the night, waiting for Godot, waiting forā¦ waiting. All evening we have struggled, unassisted. Now itās over. Itās already tomorrow. (Prsk sideblog. Largely Mizurui lol)
My main/art blog is @lemonlumens, this is my Project Sekai sideblog. As you may be able to tell, I like Mizurui a lot and post about them a lot. I find them fascinating, and their relationship is fascinatingly weird as hell. More generally, I'm a Niigo fan before I'm a person and I'm in the process of contracting a case of WxS poisoning. Polyniigo and Polysho are simply true to me.
Iām also insane about Waiting for Godot, the play about waiting that Rui mentions a couple times, and I frequently post about it in relation to Rui and Mizuki. The quote in my blog description is from it, as is any dialogue attributed to Vladimir and Estragon, itās what Iām referring to with any mention of Godot or waiting or ānothing to be doneā.
Organizational tag directory (look here if you want to find a specific kind of thing I post or know what MSMS or Bitter Almonds are referring to):
#rambles - All my textposts
#swagposts - My posts that I particularly like and/or put some effort in.
#parallels - Posts where I draw parallels in the text, screenshots and/or citing my sources.
#asks - Asks.
#my art - My finished art. Everything here can also be found reblogged to my main/art blog.
#doodles - All my art and art-like stuff, including sketches, wips, and edits ~exclusive~ to this blog.
#my comics - Comics and sequentials, any of my art with dialogue basically.
#3d stuff - I dabble in 3d modelling (and needle felting) on occasion.
#notes app excerpts - The closest I get to writing.
#images tag - Textposts that are images and I therefore can't keyword search.
#mizurui playlist - Selected lyrics and justifications, songs I think are perhaps very Mizuki and or Rui. You can find the playlist here (spotify link)
#mizurui - Guess. Also includes reblogs. I donāt tag a lot of my Mizurui posting on account of being insane, though, so you may also want to search āMizuruiā or āMizuki and Ruiā without the hashtag on my blog if you want to see the full picture of my illness.
Specific scenarios:
#transfem rui - Wouldnāt it be awesome if Rui were transfem. Iām ill about her.
#mizurui yuri - Wouldnāt it be awesome if Mizuki and Rui were both trans girls and were deeply involved with each other in a sometimes implicitly-explicitly romantic sense. Iām ill about them.
#nothing sweeter than bitter almonds - College roommates Mizurui where Mizuki blatantly puts almond extract in Ruiās food to make him think sheās poisoning him, Ruiās determined to play dumb and not give her the reaction she wants. Yet another mindgame they play for fun. Here's the main post outlining the scenario with accompanying art.
#middle school manslaughter - AU where Mizuki accidentally kills a guy in middle school and Rui covers it up. The rest of the story proceeds as normal(?). Referred to as MSMS for short. | chronological view if you wanna see how the idea developed.
#reverieās getaway - Adult Mizurui situationship roadtrip, wherein Mizuki drops by Ruiās apartment occasionally like stray cat, and then they go on a 3ish day roadtrip together somehow.
The thing of it all is that trying to get everything they want out of life out of each other will never satiate them, the world of two people is only moderately less tiny than that of one and the things they want are far too big to fit in that, but the familiar comfort of stagnation and defeatism is appealing, to convince yourself things are fine as they are because change is scarier, itās easier to delay being and not being with a friend just as fucked as you, to do nothing instead of choosing to truly live with all that entails or choosing to die. Like, there isnāt a world where Mizuki and Rui keep the exact relationship they had in middle school and become happy, because their lives at large were not happy and they didnāt possess the tools to do much to spur the other to happiness, they canāt pull each other up by their bootstraps simultaneously. But, of critical importance, their relationship itself isnāt anything inherently unhappy, or failing at being something itās not. Theyāre still important to each other, they still like and seek each other out, now that their worlds have expanded and theyāre far closer to grasping the things they want. So long as theyāre not both at rock bottom, theyāre not going to be each otherās quote unquote number one, no matter the timbre of their relationship, but thatās not a flaw or anything to be rectified. I really like that about them.
The original diagram this is based on. Nobody has an objective perspective of anyone, we build models of each other based on our limited perception as gathered through an interface, the means with which weāre able interact and communicate (like speech and body language), and we know that others build models of us based on their limited perception. We exist in others minds, fragments built of how we present ourselves to them, and they exist in us all the same. We become aware of becoming aware of each other, we see ourselves reflected in each other, tinted by perception. We exist as people because we see people seeing us.
Mizukiās model of Rui has a model of Mizuki, her perception of his perception of her, and vice versa. Mizuki and Ruiās relationship was founded on being the only people willing to observe each other, the only people they can see themselves reflected in, proof they exist as people at all.
And in the present moment they keep very aware of managing how the other sees them, like any time Mizuki puts on a charade of being fine because she sees that Rui sees that sheās not fine, or Rui saying he messed up by staring at Mizuki long enough for her to notice and smother her downcast expression because she doesnāt want to worry him in his Picnic side story. They act on and mind how the other perceives them. They mind their model of the otherās model of them.
Iām honestly so obsessed with harkening back to Mizuki and Rui on the middle school rooftop with āonce upon a time.ā Cause like, their presents are very much like fairytale miracles, and thinking of things in a certain way it feels right to start the story there, before the princes and fairies and princesses and knights and the like come to transport them away from monotony into the fantastical. Itās a story from long, long ago, in a land far, far away. Unreachable.
I do think thereās a real similarity in the talks between Rui and Asahi in CC and Rui and Mizuki in Kamifes, and the two relationships in general, this beat in particular is fun. The resignation to an unfulfilled desire in Asahi and Mizukiās smiles, that Rui in the present is happy with WxS, because of WxS, that Asahi would be stealing Ruiās future, that the past and the similarity Mizuki and Rui had is gone.
In general the ever-present nostalgia of Mizuki and Ruiās deal is so fascinating, because the present moment is better in literally every way, including their relationship itself. There isnāt anything enviable of the past, there isnāt even anything to particularly regret, except inaction but even then the vast improvements in their lives upon forming their units is lowkey luck. That yearning dispossessed of any tangible root, of any real loss. Just change.
Since their whole deal was founded on that obvious aura of abject misery surrounding the two of them, in the present moment, I think Mizuki perceives Rui as pretty handily baseline Fine since sheās not witness to much of his woe, but I think thereās a nostalgic sort of schadenfreude Mizuki feels about him in the instances she peers beyond the veil to see the same hurt person she knew. Like, she very much doesnāt want anything actually bad to happen to Rui, but to see him suffer under the weight of his own thoughts and feelings, I think thereās a little spark of something-or-other. The weird time had a certain je ne sais quoi.
Thank you so much and sorry Iām so fucking late to this ask (itās from November ā25), but I was just so incredibly bewildered when I opened this link because spotify told me I couldnāt view it on my device, and this is because it is Two Birds by Regina Spektor and I hate this song so much I blocked her on spotify, which hides every single song of hers from my view, which I forgot is even a thing you can do. Really extremely hilarious that you chanced into sending me pretty much the one song I hate most in the world, like you couldnāt pay me to listen to it, but no yeah I do understand the mizurui connection of the lyrics. Birds of a feather, one moves on while the other is stuck in place, āIām glad you made real friends,ā āI think Iām on the side of being waited for,ā āyouāre not stuck on the rooftop anymore, Rui,ā Mizukiās one million expressions of looking at Ruiās back as she feels he walks ahead and away from her, thinking herself a liar every time she resolves and falls through on her will to change alongside Niigo, and the multitudinous times she straight up lies to Rui about being okay. The fear that keeps her stuck in place, figuratively always on that rooftop as everyone flies to new heights, wanting to change but at the same time really really really not wanting anything to change at all everā¦. Yeag.
(sorry for that last ask, sent it before i finished typing) i wanted to ask if youve listened to nothing ever? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foHVL5Sa79Q
it gives me mizuki vibes, especially colorfes and wl2 but as someone who reads more of the actual text i wanted to hear your opinion on it, if youd be willing
CRAAAZY TRUE DAMN YEAH.
Yeag. TY for bringing this song to my attention I hadnāt listened to it but itās so good, I love Jamie Paige, and itās so true in the context of Mizukiā¦ I genuinely actually gasped aloud at āwatch the people from your gilded tower knowing theyāre all as good as mindlessā itās so on the nose itās so That Fucking Rooftop That I Hate.
As explored with Rui, the overlap and the fear of the overlap between curiosity/thrillseeking/ambition and violence is fun. Curiosity will have you kill the cat, and your satisfaction will never be able to bring it back. Right. Like, the thing of Rui having disassembled and reassembled machines as a kid for fun and to learn his mechanical engineering skills, the plushie dissection jokes, the zombies. Having your cake and eating it too.
Thereās a fantasy to Ruiās character of being able to fix things, to diagnose a problem and have the skills to correct it, and that fantasy fails him pretty much every time it comes to him navigating human conflict cause people donāt work like that, if he breaks a person then heās honestly just entirely fucked do not pass go. It would prove that indulging the curiosity thatās honestly at the very core of him is fundamentally wrong, because hurting people is wrong and heās simply predestined to hurt people.
Not to take the monster play as entirely 1:1, but the thing of the curious naive and cruel monster learning affection for humans and learning a will to not hurt them, the implication that Rui knows (believes) these things are not in his ānature,ā but rather deliberate and conditioned. The conflict between the extrapolated conclusion of the baser desires (the things he likes have real danger of hurting people) and conscious principles (hurting people is really bad) has gotta make him sick, of course listening to either will never meaningfully rid him of the other so really the only solution is to act in self-disgust and by solution I donāt mean solution but like something has to be done.
Doodle concepts for a kittyzuki brc model. Ribbon jetpack, and Iām between her actual kitty hairstyle vs a ponytail, cause down medium-long hair clips like hell and is a pain to rig as I learned from Rui, and a ponytail would be fun to see physicsified + ponytail + cap synergy, but at the same time a long ponytail will probably obscure/clip into her jetpackā¦.
