i confess i am lost

Angel down, angel down. But the people just stood around Why do people just stand around?

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam‌:

William lifted his head when Olivia immediately said she’d do it, his eyes scanning hers. “Olivia, I don’t think you understand… how much worse this all could be for you if it goes wrong,” he told her. He already will never be able to forgive himself for what this virus has taken from him, and if it took Olivia too - but this time in a worse and more brutal way because of something else he came up with - it would be unbearable. The situation right now was already almost unbearable, but he had to try his best to change it before it got any worse. As Olivia kept talking, kept saying that she wanted to try it, he shook his head in disbelief. “You’re incredible,” he spoke softly, really meaning it. She was so selfless in a time where everyone else was being selfish, and that was so admirable. 

“If you’re really sure you want to try this, I…I could get it to you right away,” William said, almost reluctantly. If he was confident this could save her life, he would have already been running down the hall with it. But at this point, it was almost a 50/50 chance that this would work, and those odds just weren’t desirable. But her clock was already ticking, and standing around and watching her die was way worse than trying absolutely everything he could to get rid of this virus once and for all. It’s caused too much pain and destruction for too many people. He lifted his hand to the glass where hers was resting on the other side, wishing more than anything that he could touch her in some way. If there was a chance that this could work, that they could get out of here and live a normal life… he would do anything to make that possible. It was just so hard to be hopeful when he knew what this virus was capable of.

Olivia hesitated for just one moment when she looked at William. This would be it. If she agreed right now, he could get her something that may or may not let her live. It was quiet as the moment passed, she felt heavy and their was a huge weight on her shoulders. She was almost feeling defeated, but there really was not any other choice that she could make this point. “Will you be here? Will you stay with me?” If she did this, Olivia knew that she could not do it alone. Maybe it was asking for a lot, knowing that he’s got so many other things on his plate and patients that he needs to be with. She would understand if he couldn’t, but she needed to at least try. Already being locked up for so long, she just hates feeling so lonely. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam‌:

After Olivia answered him, William slowly moved his gaze over to her face, trying not to let his expression change, even though it pained him to see her like this. He nodded his head, glad that she hadn’t worsened any just yet, but a part of him was irrationally disappointed that she hadn’t gotten better. He knew this virus, he knew it wasn’t something that just went away on its own, but he couldn’t help but be hopeful. When she asked for an update, William sighed, a hand moving up to rub the back of his neck. A part of him didn’t even want to bring this up to Olivia, but he had to. If there was any chance of saving her, he had to mention it, not matter how risky it might be. 

“I have something…” He started, letting his sentence trail off, reluctant. “But it’s not perfect, Olivia,” he leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window that separated them, suddenly exhausted. He didn’t even know if this ‘cure’ would work - after all of the ones he had tried and failed with, he didn’t have high hopes at this point. “If it doesn’t make you better, it could make your d– it could make everything significantly worse. I wanted to test it more before I tried it on anyone, but given the circumstances…” he lifted his head again and looked at her, sadness all over his face. “I’m not.. there yet. I don’t have a cure. And I definitely don’t want to experiment on you.” William shrugged his shoulders, honestly at a loss. He didn’t know if this was a good idea or not, but what other option did they have? There just wasn’t the time he needed to perfect something. “It’s up to you if you want to try it or not.” 

Olivia grew hopeful at his words. She shook her head at his usage of the word ‘but’. She didn’t care if it’s not perfect, but that fact that there could be something to help fix everything.... she would risk it all. Either way, if what he might have doesn’t work, she’s dead either way. Looking down at her pale, yellowing skin, feeling how every moment, her body slowly decaying, she felt that it was a risk worth to take. “William, I think that we should do it.” To any other person, it might’ve been a rash decision, making it too quickly for something that’s so serious. “At this point, why not? If it means to save everyone, I’m willing to try.” She didn’t want to think of the possibility that it could make the inevitable happen sooner. Olivia placed her hand near where his forehead rest, wishing that she could cup his cheek. 

“How soon do you think you’ll be able to get it to me?” She asked softly. Hearing someone coughing in the distance, she was growing upset and anxious. Olivia could see the turmoil on William’s face. “I told you from the beginning of this, I just want to do what I can to help.” If she had any purpose in life, it was this. To do things for the people she loves and everyone around her. The trip she had with her fiancée to this place wasn’t at all what she was expecting when she came here. She didn’t think that she’d meet the one and only person she was actually in love with. And she didn’t know that there might not ever be a time that she can be with him. It was like fate was laughing at her for finally giving her what she really needed only to keep it from her between a glass window. She can see it, but she can never touch it.

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William was scared, to say the least. He was terrified of what was inevitably going to happen to Olivia, but he wasn’t going give up hope yet. There were options, he had some things he was working on…but they weren’t tested. And William didn’t exactly want to use Olivia as his guinea pig, especially not when this could potentially make things even worse for her. But he also couldn’t sit back and do nothing, so he was at least going to present the idea to her. It wasn’t going to be easy, though. This whole situation was something from his worst nightmares - he was torn between wanting to spend as much time as he possibly could with her and being too upset to want to see her like this at all. He tried not to think about it too much as he approached her room, bracing himself for the worst, but hoping and praying it wasn’t there just yet. 

He couldn’t help but look her over as he stood at her window before he spoke, checking for symptoms he knew were to come. She didn’t look any worse than when he was last here, though. “Hey,” he spoke softly, looking away from her to focus on a spot on the wall behind her. “How are you feeling?” He knew it wasn’t going to be great, even at this stage, but he still had to ask. Hopefully what he had for her was everything it took to cure this. He didn’t think he could make it through losing someone else he loved, and saving her would mean saving everyone. 

After a couple of days being locked in a confined room and not being able to have any sort of real contact with anyone besides guys in hazmat suits to poke and prod her body, Olivia was tired and feeling down besides her being actually sick and dying from an illness she never saw coming to affect her. She promised herself and William that she wouldn’t let it get to her, but right now as she stared at the book in her hand and reading the same passage over and over again, it was all that she was doing. A moment passed and she heard William and her gaze immediately moved to see him on the other side of the glass window. Olivia put on a smile that she was sure was believable and most of it was-- seeing William always gave her every bit of hope she could use. And while she would rather much be on the other side with him, this was almost enough.

 “Honestly, I could do better,” she said light-heartedly with a shrug of her shoulders. She placed the book down. Taking her eyes briefly off of him to look at the ground, she spoke, “Nothing has changed too much since the last time a doctor came by.” She spoke to him like he was her doctor asking about her symptoms, which he was, but not like he was anything more than that. Olivia liked that he stopped by, but she didn’t know if she wanted him to see her like this-- not when he didn’t want to look at her.  She felt like it was stupid to make it personal between the two anymore, but she also hated the cliche to push someone away when you need them. She didn’t know what to do. “Have any updates?”

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William’s smile had only been widening as he stood near Olivia and heard her soft words. He couldn’t look away from here from even a second, which is how he didn’t miss even a little bit of it when she coughed up blood. He immediately yanked the collar of his shirt up over his mouth and nose, backing away until his back hit the wall behind him. He was in shock. He was so sure, so absolutely positive that she wasn’t sick - and now it was all shattering right in front of him. He didn’t feel much of anything, couldn’t do much of anything right away. He didn’t even have the sense to leave the room until Olivia told him to. After he heard her speak was when it came to his senses, and he felt everything at once. The pain from losing his family hit him again full force, only worse because now there was a third person that he loved that was sick. Because of him. 

He left the room as soon as he realized that he really shouldn’t be in there in the first place, but couldn’t do much else. He could just stand there and stare at the floor in front of him, wishing this wasn’t happening. Bringing his eyes up, he looked at the window to Mark’s room a little further done the hall, and could see the man coughing. He was immediately filled with anger toward him, he couldn’t believe someone could be so ridiculously stupid. Finally, he turned to face Olivia again, looking at her with a thick pane of glass between them. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, the only thing he was able to get out. He knew that all of this was his fault, but the guilt he was already feeling had just tripled. He was sick with shame, with horror, with loss, with pain. He couldn’t lose Olivia, too. He couldn’t let this happen.

She was keeping herself calm- but she couldn’t tell if she was failing or not and when she saw William on the other side of the glass window once again, she let go her breath she found herself holding in. Olivia heard his apology and all she could do was shake her head. Trying to find the words, she was afraid that she was going to be sick- nauseous from realizing that she could inevitably die. Or maybe it was because she was actually sick. Stepping towards the glass, she was in front of him and seeing the look on his face was almost just as bad. “No, William. You’re not going to apologize,” she said to him firmly. “You... You’re going to treat me like I’m a regular patient, okay?” For a moment, she stopped and remembered all the patient files she read through, the horrible symptoms and the pain that was recorded. The deaths. She didn’t want to be added as another one apart of those files. She’d be damned if she would. 

“We don’t know if this is serious or not, yet.” It might’ve been hopeful wishing on her part, but at the moment, it was just a cough with a little blood. The odds weren’t in her favor, but she had to keep positive. Being in a situation like this, she didn’t have to be positive, but she wanted to. At least for as long as possible. It was an odd that she got sick so late in quarantine, so keeping positive when she didn’t know if anything was going to be different as her health declined might not be so easy. Stepping forward, she pressed her forehead against the thick window glass that separated them and taking a moment to breathe. After that moment was up, she lifted her gaze to him. “Hey,” she started, trying to be a little more light-hearted, “you’re not going to get rid of me that easily.”

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William listened to her explanation and nodded his head, looking at the ground in front of him instead of at her now. He believed her, and now that he was actually taking the time to talk to her about it, he felt a lot better. When he heard her say the ‘L’ word, his head snapped up to look at her again, and he swallowed hard. He knew he was in love with her, completely head over heels in love, but admitting that out loud wasn’t something he was able to do. Hearing her say that though, made a small smile work its way onto his face. He nodded at her apology and leaned back in his chair now. “It’s okay, Olivia,” he told her, his smile widening to become just a little bit more visible. He was still hurt, still upset by the whole thing, but he understood. He knew her apology was genuine and an explanation was all he needed to hear. 

Not being able to touch Olivia had been driving him crazy for a while now, but now it was even worse. The glass between them felt like too much though, and although he probably shouldn’t have, he stood up to unlock her door anyway. He was sure at this point that the two of them weren’t infected, the last 2 hours were merely an extra precaution. “I’m also sorry,” he told her once he was in her room, standing close but not too close, although he was craving at least the intimacy that they had in the shower again. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. It’s stupid for us to have feelings like these in a time like this, but I can’t deny that they’re there. I’m yours, no matter what happens from here on out. Even if I have to fight with Mark for your affection now,” he said the last part teasingly, taking a small step closer subconsciously. 

Olivia felt herself relax as soon as she saw William’s smile and she couldn’t help but return her own. Watching as he got up, she heard the door unlock and looked at him with confusion as he walked inside. Usually, he was the one that was extra cautious about this, and while it was risky, she still couldn’t help but be glad that he came in the room. After being apart for too long, it was nice to have his company again. Shaking her head at his apology, Olivia didn’t think he had to say anything. She understood, but hearing those words coming from him, she once again was blushing. And she was, something that rarely happened, caught on her words. Almost speechless. Standing up, she was facing him. “There’s no fight,” she said softly, her gaze lifting to meet his. They were close and for a brief moment of time, she felt a little normal, like if they didn’t have to worry about anything and can just be as close as they wanted. 

Olivia opened her mouth to say something else, but out of nowhere, there was a tickle in the back of her throat and a rusty, metallic taste on her tongue. Before she could do anything, think about anything, she coughed. Olivia raised her hand just in time to her mouth and when she pulled her hand back, before she looked, she felt a warm substance that shouldn’t have been there. Seeing the red on her hand, she wanted to panic. Backing far away from William as possible to feel the wall against her back, she grabbed the first thing she could, her blanket from the bed, and wiped the blood from her hand away. As if she could just erase everything that happened. But of course, she couldn’t. Holding the blanket close to her, she looked at William with fear. “William you have to get out of this room.” She was trying to be calm. It had to be a false alarm, a hoax, that she was now just getting sick, after being so close. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

Olivia being in quarantine brought back many painful emotions for William - he was wrong when he thought that nothing could be as painful as losing his family. This was right up there. But thankfully, she wasn’t sick. It had been purely precautionary, but it had been about 46 hours without any symptoms, and he hadn’t seen any patients who had only begun to show symptoms within the last 2 hours. Plus, her fiancé hadn’t shown any symptoms either, so he was pretty confident that was okay at this point. And because of that, he let himself feel the other emotions he had been pushing aside - the hurt he felt not only because of what she had said in the showers, but because of the fact that she has a fiancé that she hadn’t mentioned to him at all. He felt a bit betrayed by that, but the relief he felt knowing she didn’t have the virus outweighed most of the anger he would have felt otherwise. Most of it. 

He was finally ready to talk to her now, after 2 days of checking on her often, but only talking about her health and possible symptoms. On his way to her room in the quarantine unit, he pulled a chair from a vacant office and set it down right in front of the large window of her room. Sitting down, he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, hands laced together, and just looked at her for a long moment. He had just checked her for symptoms ten minutes ago but was still looking for any possible sign. After a long couple moments of silence, he cleared his throat. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a fiancé?” He asked her, indicating that he was now ready to talk to her about everything. He didn’t feel much anger at all, he just wanted to understand what her thought process was. He wanted to know if her feelings were real, or if she was just bored and lonely and he was here. He hoped for the former, but after everything.. he couldn’t quite be sure.

Olivia felt a little worried this time in quarantine and while there was only two hours left of it, she wouldn’t feel completely in the safe zone until those two hours were up. But she didn’t want to show it any chance she got. Not when William was checking on her every now and again since Mark decided to somehow weasel his way in the cordon. Stupid move. Rolling her eyes at the thought, she wrapped her arms around her legs and placed her chin on her knees to comfort herself. She couldn’t get over how furious she was over what he did. Even now he doesn’t seem to realize how bad this is. But then again, she was just the same way when she became stuck inside. The only difference was that Mark should’ve known better. After a few minutes, she didn’t realize that she wasn’t alone when she heard a throat being cleared. She jerked her head up and saw William on the other side through the window. Dropping her legs, she moved to the edge of the bed with a large smile on her face. He was just there to check up on her only a few minutes, maybe he would finally have a real conversation. But the words that left his mouth had made her smile falter. 

She wanted to talk to him, this is what she was getting.  “I didn’t want to not tell you,” she said after a moment. Olivia’s gaze fell on him as she sighed quietly. “There was just so much happening in here already, and it never came up... at first it didn’t matter that I did or not. You know, we hated each other.” She laughed quietly. “Then one thing led to another, and he was never on my mind. Not when I was starting to fall in love with someone else.” Olivia knew countless times that she was never happy with her fiancé, but she never wanted to admit that she was settling. She was the last person that anyone would think that would, but it happened. “I just want to say, I’m sorry. For everything.” Now that she was finally being listened to, she had to say it, even if she’s already said it plenty times since, but she was just ignored. And for good reason, too. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William sighed and looked away from Olivia - yeah, definitely not the right time to have this conversation. He had ruined what felt like a perfect moment - but, it was a conversation that they had to have eventually. “I know there’s not. But what is it you really think is going to happen after all of this?” He didn’t want to say everything he feared, which was that she wouldn’t be able to look at him the same after all this was over. That his face would just constantly remind her of everything she went through here - and for good reason. It was entirely his fault. He pulled his hands away from her, dropping his arms at his sides. “Maybe that’s the best idea,” he responded with a shrug of his shoulders, although it was the last thing he wanted. His jaw was clenched, looking away from her, knowing that if he met her gaze he wouldn’t be able to do what was actually best for them. This just couldn’t happen, both of them would end up getting hurt in the end.

Olivia was noticeably frustrated by his words and stepped back away from him that he couldn’t be anywhere near her. Looking around the bathroom, she found the nearest towel and wrapped it around her body. “Good. Fine,” she said, pulling her hair to one of her shoulders. “I’m glad I found out now how easily you give up on things before barely trying. At this rate, it’s only proving yourself that I’m none of us are getting out of here at all.” She slightly flinched at the sound of her tone and the words that fell from her mouth, knowing that it was a little rough. But she was feeling embarrassed of putting herself out there only to find out that it wasn’t going to amount to anything. She looked at him one last time before she turned around and grabbed her clothes and headed for the door. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William frowned at Olivia’s response to his words - he had expected her to be on the same page. He moved his hand under her chin, tilting her face up to look at him with the side of his fist. “I don’t want it to be, either,” he told her honestly, followed by a sigh. “But, Olivia, we have two very different lives. And I want you to be able to get to back to yours, I would just hold you back.. And after all of this, the last thing I want to do is keep you from living your normal life any longer.” He dropped his hand and looked away from her, realizing that maybe this wasn’t the most ideal time and place to have this conversation. It was too late to take it back though - it had been on his mind. “My life has been nothing except work for the past two years. I can assure you when we’re out of here, it would get old fast. You’re not going to want to be around me when you’re not forced to be.”

She felt a sliver of hope when he lifted her head and said those words, only to have it crash when he said the word,’but’. Olivia looked away from him, her jaw set in place. There were plenty things she had to say, some not so nice, but she knew that if she said those things, it’d completely be blown out of proportion. She was just upset that his words could be true. But then she shook her head and dropped her arms to her sides before glancing back up at him. “You can’t tell me what I do and don’t want. I don’t think you understand that there’s no going back to a ‘normal’ life after this. I-” she stopped herself from going on, sighing and ran a hand through her dampened hair. Olivia didn’t know how to put into words that her life outside wasn’t necessarily ideal. An example being, that she’s only recently realized how much she’s dreading, getting married to someone she did not love. She was already being held back, from so many things, and it wasn’t until being stuck inside a cordon that she’s felt the least held back. Ironically enough. “If you don’t see this going any further or becoming anything else, then I should leave,” she said softly. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William didn’t want to leave this moment, the only thing better than this would be if they could actually kiss - no barrier, just them as they were. Hearing her words, he nodded his head - he was glad that she believed in him. Without her being here to have faith in his ability to stop this all, he didn’t know if he would have been able to keep trying. But he next words really got to him and he was silent for a few long moments after she spoke. Of course, he agreed with her, but he knew this wasn’t a permanent thing. “Olivia… if - when - this is all over, if we don’t see each other again, if it was all just a moment in time.. just know that you’ve changed my life. For the better,” his tone was soft and serious. After this was over, he didn’t know what would come of them, but it was unlikely they would continue seeing each other. They had two very different lives, and he wanted to be able to get her back to hers. 

Olivia had to pull away from him after he spoke, wanting to look at him. Her brows furrowed in confusion. “Why- what do you mean if we don’t see each other again?” Her eyes shifted between each of his, wanting to pull back the curtain away so that she could see him clearly, but didn’t. “Why wouldn’t we see each other again after this, William?” Olivia knew that that they were, quite literally, from opposite two ends of the world, but she figured that that was doable considering what they’ve gone through- what they are going through right now. Finally, Olivia crossed her arms over her chest, feeling overexposed. “I don’t want this to be just a moment in time,” she said indignantly. Her eyes fell to the floor, her words quiet but full of truth.  If that was what he wanted, then this.... would have to stop. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

When she kissed him, William was feeling everything he hadn’t felt in years, brought back to the surface now. With Olivia, it was different than he had ever felt before, though. Maybe just because of the situation they were in, but it was a sort of desperate passion that he didn’t know how to deal with. He kissed her gently, as if the moment were fragile and any wrong move could ruin it. He didn’t think he’d get the chance to kiss her - not in here, and after all of this was over and they were lucky to make it out alive, who knows where they’d be? He didn’t know if this was just something they were feeling while they were stuck in here or not, but that wasn’t something he was going to let himself think about right now. He brought his hand up to her face, thumb brushing her cheek as they kissed. It wasn’t enough, but it was more than he thought was possible for them to experience, and he was grateful for this moment. He brought his other hand up to rest it softly on her hip, and a moment later he pulled away slightly. “Olivia..” he mumbled, nose brushing against hers. Maybe this was stupid and dangerous, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that at the moment - it was just the two of them in the world and nothing else.

When he pulled away, Olivia was speechless and even after he spoke her name, she couldn’t bring herself to even try to speak just yet.  She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and be encased in his arms. There wasn’t anywhere else she wanted to be in this world. Reaching on her toes, she kissed him one more time, pretending for just those last few moments that nothing was wrong. Pulling away one more time, she pressed her forehead to his shoulder, hiding her sad smile from him.   “We’re going to get out of this,” she started off, confident in her words and wanting to believe them. Olivia had hope, she never thought that none of them wouldn’t get out of this since the beginning, though it was rough to think about. “The only good thing to come out of this is that I met you, William.” She didn’t want to let that go, either. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William was taking a quick break from his work to shower - it felt like the only moments he really had to calm down and collect himself, and he cherished them. He never usually stayed long though, he didn’t exactly have time to waste. His mind was completely clear as he let the hot water run over his face, allowing himself to have this moment of peace. It was only a moment later that he felt something on his back, and although it should have made him flinch, to be touched in a place like this, it didn’t. He knew exactly who it was, and why she was doing it. He didn’t turn right away - it had been so long since he had physical human contact that he almost didn’t know how to react. Even before the cordon went up, he didn’t allow himself to get close enough to anymore. After only a few moments, he slowly turned around to look at her, her breath catching in his throat slightly. This wasn’t enough, he wanted to touch her without the barrier between them, but he knew that wasn’t possible. He brought his hand up to meet hers, resting it against hers, watching her through the sheer material of the curtain. He leaned into her, forehead pressing against hers, only a small, thin barrier between them. It felt so close to what he wanted, but not quite enough. His lips hovered close to where hers were on the other side of the curtain, wanting desperately to kiss her. 

Could this be just as dangerous than if they were really touching? Was she putting both of their lives on the line for just a moment of selfishness? When he turned around and looked at her, a small flicker of a smile flashed on her face. For a moment, she was afraid he was going to pull away from her, but when he didn’t, she knew then that she didn’t want this and only this to be the last of William and Olivia. Feeling their foreheads pressed together, feeling the heat from his body emanating through the sheer curtain between them, she wanted to take a moment to appreciate that they were still alive through this mess. Her other hand moved up the outline of his body until she was able to cup his cheek, her gaze following her fingers until she pulled their foreheads apart to look at him. Olivia kissed him, removing all space between them, and although their skin wasn’t touching completely the fact that they found a way to be close in some way was almost enough. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William stood up straight again, suddenly feeling as if he had aged 20 years. Of course it wasn’t a good idea, there were more important things to worry about, and chance of the virus spreading was more likely if they spent more time in close proximity. But William was tired and his feelings were undeniable, and after so long of just constant worry and stress, he didn’t want to push something away that could brighten his mood even just a little bit. “I think,” he started, his tone slightly hesitant as keep his eyes on her. “That given everything.. we deserve to let ourselves have something.” He left it at that, shrugging his shoulders. He knew, rationally, that he should be thinking about and focusing on other things. But she made that hard. He held her gaze for a few more moments, before taking a step back. “I should let you get some sleep.” 

Olivia had the shower running a lot longer than she use to let herself use, but feeling the hot water on her skin was the only comforting thing she felt since she was stuck inside the cordon. Did it really matter at this point if she wasted a few more minutes of water at this point? Hearing another shower go off brought her out of her thoughts and without meaning too, she looked between the curtains and saw the back of William’s head. Olivia turned back away. He was on her thoughts far too often these past couple of days and since the other night, they’ve barely spoken. She wanted to talk to him, but they seemed to have been avoiding each other in one way or another and now wouldn’t be an appropriate time considering where they were. But that didn’t stop her from turning off her water and stepping out of her shower. Maybe speaking wasn’t what they needed at the moment. She found herself nearing his shower and when there was just a small barrier between them, she reached out and lightly touched the back of his shoulder through the curtain. It wasn’t at all enough, but it’s the only thing she could do and his words from before were ringing in her head. We deserve to let ourselves have something.

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William just nodded his head at her answer, pretending he believed her. He didn’t know what she was thinking, but he knew it was something. He also had a lot on his mind, especially to do with her, all of it seemingly just coming about tonight. He didn’t know what had changed within him, but something had. “No, not at all,” he answered her, hands shoved in his pockets as he leaned against the wall beside her. This part of the hospital was quiet, it didn’t hold any of the sick, and only a few rooms were occupied. He had put her here on purpose, hopefully away from anyone who could potentially get her sick. “Unless you want there to be.” He didn’t want to think too much about the feelings he was experiencing, but he did want to know if it was one sided or not. He did know that if they weren’t in the situation they were in, William would avoid this type of feeling all together, not even giving it a second thought. But here, that felt pointless.

It was obvious that whatever conversation they were having, there was some other meaning behind it that surprised Olivia that William was contributing to. Maybe what she might’ve been feeling wasn’t all that crazy to her. She met his gaze, her lips parting as she tried to sum up the correct response- if there was one. Olivia had her hands folded behind her back and away from him, not allowing there to be any room for anything accidental that could potentially ruin everything. “William, I...” she trailed off, wanting nothing more than to let whatever this is or isn’t to happen. “I think the question is, is if it’s a good idea.”  If they were under any other circumstances, who knows what the two of them would actually be to the other, if there was anything at all aside from this. But the same reasons that put them together had a good part in why it shouldn’t be. Olivia leaned on the door, her back flush against the surface as if it could take off all the weight of herself. She never looked away from him.

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William rolled his eyes at her teasing, but for the first time it wasn’t out of pure annoyance. Something had changed between them - or maybe it had been there for a while and he just ignored it, but it felt different now. “I don’t think I used the word need,” he countered, although she was right. She might have been teasing, but he felt like having her here helped him a lot more than either of them knew. As she turned back to look at him as they were leaving his office, he could only meet her gaze for a few moments before he had to look away. Certainly not because he wanted to, that was for sure. As he followed her out though, he snuck another glance at her and saw that she was blushing. He smirked silently to himself, falling into step beside her. “Something on your mind, Miss Pierce?”

Olivia looked up at him when he spoke up and quickly noticed the smirk on his face. “No,” she said almost too quickly before clearing her throat softly. Surely she didn’t say anything about what she was thinking, did she? She wasn’t that much of an open book, so she decided to play it cool. “No, just- you know. Tired,” she shrugged with her hands in the air. Very cool. “Should there be?” she countered, turning her head slightly to look at him just as the door to her room came to view when turning the corner. She stepped ahead of him, reaching her door and turning around to face him. Olivia didn’t necessarily want him to leave- being alone in this hospital was the bane of her existence, but mixing her exhaustion and the feelings she just had moments ago it wouldn’t be a good outcome. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William nodded in response to Olivia’s explanation, understanding exactly what she meant. This whole thing had gone on too long, take too many lives, destroyed too many families. It was time for it to end, if only he knew how to do it. “No need to thank me,” he replied quickly with a shake of his head. This was his job, one he didn’t feel he was doing well enough right now. But he would. He’d figure this out for her. “Just.. don’t let me, or this place break that fiery spirit of yours. As much of a pain in the ass it is, it’s the only thing keeping me from completely losing my mind in here.” He gave her a small smile, maybe the first one she’d ever seen, and touched the chair she was sitting on, close to her leg but still not touching her - as much as he found himself wanting to. And then, after only a moment, he stood up again. “Let me walk you back to your room.” 

Olivia was a little taken aback by his words. It seemed only he could compliment and insult her at the same time, which resulted in making her laugh. She saw him smile and she returned it, and just like that, for one moment everything seemed like it could be okay. As got up after him she said, “Are you saying that you need me, Doctor Addison?” She was teasing him lightly, even though it sounded half-hearted to her own ears. Olivia reached the door and looked over her shoulder at him, about to tell him that she didn’t need an escort back to her room and she could find her way, but something stopped her. She felt butterflies in her stomach when their gazes met, like a teenager with a high school crush. Something she hadn’t felt in a very long time now that she thought about it, and the mere thought even made her blush without her consent. Looking away from him, she wanted to scold herself, knowing that this was the last thing she should be thinking about, but this was something that she wasn’t going to deprive herself from, not when it was something that she felt was missing for a very long time.  

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

William was relieved at first when she said she would stay, but when he looked up at her again and saw the tears in her eyes, he immediately felt horrible. He was almost desensitized to all of this at this point - it didn’t even cross his mind at the time that it wasn’t normal to be able to read about people’s deaths without blinking an eye. He stood, walking over to the other side of the desk to crouch down in front of her. He was close to her, but made sure they weren’t touching, as much as he wanted to be able to reach out to comfort her in some way. “Don’t be sorry,” he told her, his voice quiet. “I..I shouldn’t have asked you to do that.” He hung his head, taking a breath. He felt responsible for her tears, and on top of feeling responsible for all of these deaths, the guilt was unbearable. Forcing himself to look up at her again, his expression suddenly hardened. “Listen, I’m going to end this. I promise you, this is going to be over soon. We’re going to get you home,” and he meant it. He said it with confidence, meaning every word, knowing that he would never, ever stop trying his very hardest to end all of this. And with her in the back of his mind, it was only more motivation.

She watched him as he moved around and crouched right in front of him, being close, but not enough to touch. Olivia never knew how hard staying away from someone could be so hard until now. “No-” she tried cutting him off, shaking her head. “I wanted to help, I still would like to help, it’s just... it was a lot. And I didn’t realize it, but I’m okay now.” As she spoke, her gaze fell to her lap. She didn’t want him to worry about her, not when he’s already got so much to worry about. When he spoke again, she lifted up her gaze and she felt overwhelmed by his words and her tears came back at the thought of going home, but she held them at bay while another feeling came to mind. “I believe you,” she told him. and she truly meant it and believed that it couldn’t be any one else that would fix this. “Thank you.” She didn’t say it, but he was the only hope that she had in this place. 

[frkolivia]

wtvrwilliam:

The silence that fell between them was a comfortable one, and William found that he was able to get more work done than he normally would have by himself. However, not without sneaking glances up at her every once in a while. When he heard Olivia speak he looked up at her, and frowned at her tone. What he had given her to read wasn’t something that was easily swallowed - he knew it must be difficult for her. It wasn’t easy for him, either. But hearing that tone made his stomach drop. He always considered her spirit to be unbreakable - even in a place like this, she was stubborn and unruly - and he didn’t want to be proven wrong. “Olivia, wait-” he stopped her, standing up as well. “Thank you. I really do appreciate your help,” his voice was genuine, meaning every word. None of this was easy, and he didn’t know what he could do to make it easier for her, or anyone. He opened his mouth to speak again, but then closed it, hesitating. Moving to sit back down, he cleared his throat quietly, trying to act nonchalant. “You don’t have to leave yet. You can stay, if you want to.” His words sounded more like he was asking her to rather than offering - his attempt at masking it any other way had very obviously failed. 

Just before she was turning around to head out, he spoke up and she stopped. Looking back at him, she smiled lightly at his appreciation. “Of course,” she told him while her gaze fell to the ground. When he sat down, she thought that was the end of their conversation, but hearing him clear his throat made her look back up at him. Olivia felt comforted by the words he said and maybe even a bit of relief with a small dose of shock that he said it. As much as she was tired, she didn’t know how well she would be able to sleep tonight-if at all. And it had nothing to do with how uncomfortable the hospital beds can get. “I’ll stay,” she answered. Sitting back down in the chair she was just sitting in, she sat on the edge of her seat, playing with her hands and looking at the ground. Olivia felt the tears coming before she was sat down, but even her will to keep them back wasn’t strong enough when she felt a few tears fall on her lap. Quickly wiping them away and laughing half-heartedly to do her best to cover it up she said, “Sorry-” she was about to come up with an excuse, but it was obvious it would be a lie, but after she was sure she wiped the tears away, she looked up at him.