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DEAR READER
Sade Olutola
PR's Tumblrdome
Keni
Three Goblin Art
hello vonnie
Stranger Things
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
occasionally subtle
Misplaced Lens Cap
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
almost home
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n
#extradirty
we're not kids anymore.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
dirt enthusiast
Love Begins
seen from Australia
seen from Japan
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seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
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seen from Germany
seen from Italy
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@froggyfeetsies
Posts tagged with #my art
this was meant to be an art blog, but then i got distracted by all the cool stuff going on. So here is a pinned art tag link just in case anyone forgot this was meant to be an art blog in between the 500 posts about food and shitposts
also, my obsession blog for all of the things 💛
General Kozmotis Pitchiner
Absolutely despicable kaomoji thanks for that deonis 👍
( ˃ᯅ˂) ( ꪊꪻ⊂)
↑ here he is
censorship
I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU
OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT
I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭
In case someone doesn’t have the timestamp on
my biology professor has such a chaotic energy about him, last week i went to his office hours and somehow we ended up on the topic of gay marriage:
he said that when he lived in texas they changed the law to define marriage as “between a man and a woman in a house of religious worship with the intention to have children” so he filed his taxes as single and when they called him up like “you filed married last year” he was like “you changed the law, i was married by a judge in a courthouse and i have no intention of having kids” and they told him “you know who that law was for” and i guess he hung up on them and did not, in fact, pay taxes as a married man that year
Chaotic good
NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn't just mean cheeky!
this is like how Sweden stopped classifying homosexuality as an illness because people started a campaign of calling in gay to work
malicious compliance is one of the best tools in the arsenal of civil rights activism
Always reblog for malicious compliance
sometimes following the letter of the law works even better than ignoring it.
I was innocently buying a soda and a Kit Kat bar from a snack shop recently when the cashier said, "Oh, a Kit Kat! That's what I named my cat!" and then launched into An Monologue.
Nobody was behind me in line, which seemed to be a good reason for her to treat me to a five minute retelling of the identification, rescue, and argument over initial custody of Kit Kat, who was so small they thought when they first heard him crying for help that he was a bird and not a kitten in a tree, and is now fifteen pounds of "pure, sculpted lardass".
And I didn't mind, precisely, I wasn't bored or anything, but around the time she was bringing me up to speed on Kit Kat's current status it occurred to me that this woman is a cashier in a store that primarily sells candy bars and beverages. People must buy Kit Kat bars from her multiple times a day. Does she do this every time there's nobody in line behind the purchaser? Did I just have that I Own Several Cats And Will Enjoy Your Cat Stories look about me? Was it the first time it occurred to her that she sold the brand of candy bar she named her cat after? Was she new to the job of selling Kit Kat bars?
The idea that every time she sees a Kit Kat bar she is gripped by the urge, Manchurian Candidate style, to retell the story of Kit Kat the Cat, elevates her from a friendly cashier to a deep enigma. Truly there is no knowing the mind of another.
IT GETS FUNNIER
I was in the same snack shop, which I'm in, like, once a month, recently. I only recognized her because I spent five minutes listening to this monologue in sincere wonder. But I did recognize her, so as I was buying a soda and a Milky Way bar (this time) I said, without thinking about how this would come across, "Hey, how's Kit Kat?"
She looked genuinely horrified and said, "What...how?"
"Oh fuck!" I blurted. "Sorry! You told me about him last time!"
This is still quite cryptic as responses go but she gave me a frankly frantic look of sudden recognition and said, "He's fine! You bought a Kit Kat! I was unmedicated!"
I did not inform her she is small town famous on Tumblr and instead just said, "Glad you're both doing well!" and we parted as confused and mortified friends.
Gosh she's fun. I hope she's there next time. I want to reenact the Spiderman Pointing meme with her.
No one knows if finishing a drawing is possible
”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????
For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."
Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.
Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.
Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.
The best part is the local city council's reaction.
And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.
Me: Fuck, the paper towels I want are on the top shelf.
The Sir David Attenborough That Lives In My Brain: Being smaller-than-average presents an added challenge to foraging ... but necessity is the mother of invention. A little creativity turns a baguette into a tool, and voilà--
(paper towel roll falls on my face)
Sir David Attenborough, pleasantly: Success.
happy century, David Attenborough
thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters
and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind
and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS
turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's
I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life
the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head
I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"
at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing
so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence
anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels
so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”
and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”
and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’
and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes
“i love bible”
It’s almost like taking an invested interest in what your children enjoy will help you understand them.
that addition might be the most savage call out i’ve ever seen
i didn’t know i needed an isekai where an awkward nerdy middle-aged dad who’s not a weirdo or a creep and died saving a child is reincarnated as an otome villainess except he’s too nice to be mean to anyone and just happy to have good eyesight now but i’m so glad it exists
