rory town

she/they, 21 thank you twilight sparkle for everything you’ve done for america

[frumblebee]

jayfeather is basically house md

[undying-princess]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[frumblebee]

I've never had a strong sense of identity.

I was something small and fragile

caught in violent tempest,

eroded by the relentless sea,

warped and changed into something

I don't quite recognize, with

the glittering fragments of my

personhood

cast amongst the sand

where the unassuming step and bleed,

and like shards of ruby, I am broken and crimson,

and I don't know if it makes me bad.

But, even if I am bad,

At least I am the kind of person

who will hold you as you cry,

and who will return earthworms to the soil

after it has rained.

[redstonedust]

normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3

[frumblebee]

driving through downtown,

late nights to take the edge off,

psyche and rebound,

what bleeds us, who's beneath us,

wring our hearts out

ruminating abuses,

mourning our childhood,

adolescent confusion,

definition of "good"

lights of the casino,

eyes i can see through,

interlaced fingers--

gazes that linger

all that i want is

your warmth under my skin,

to leave behind the past

making room for this moment

to last

twilight kisses the horizon,

the sun bathes you in golden wonder,

in the driver's seat you catch me staring,

if this is falling, i'm surely going under

romanticizing our future

to distract from the pain,

our little life, safe and simple,

how it falls into frame

walks down an old trail,

an ass-kissing email,

leaving notes on your door,

yearning for more

imagine years down the line,

i'm still yours and you're mine,

on our past we'll sit and reminisce,

as we grow old together in domestic bliss

limbs intertwined in your twin bed,

gentle breaths escape your parted lips,

safe and sound in your solaced silence,

if home is where the heart is,

then mine is with my sweet finn

[frumblebee]

im going to rip off my skin, tan it, fashion it into a coat, wear it, and rip it off again.

[frumblebee]

wake up babe its time for unparalleled levels of stress to settle back in

[frumblebee]

midwestern winter blues

there's nothing more painful that makes me remember,

than a visit to my parent's home, many years later, in late december,

the tension was thick 'round the dinner table,

and i was praying to a god for something stable,

and when i look in the mirror, all i see

is that hurting child staring back at me

sick, smothered, when the end seemed to have caught her,

but today she's still your dear sweet gay & fucked up daughter,

tethered to a place too quiet and lonely

at the same time, both loud and suffocating

my own shadow is the sharpest blade i've ever known,

and she still cruelly bleeds me out upon the fallen snow,

there's no point in struggle if it's impossible to win,

and yet i sweat and shake, yearning to free myself from this skin,

i don't know why i feel this way. maybe it's me, maybe its you,

or maybe it's just a case of midwestern winter blues

[frumblebee]

one seltzer and im having profound revelations. two seltzers and im begging my partner whos watching our cat to make sure they tuck him in and read him a bedtime story and give him kisses from me

[frumblebee]

me when the kind of depression where your bones are so heavy with it and you fill every waking moment with tasks so that distraction will dull the incessant ache of existing that onsets the moment you feel silence

[frumblebee]

and i call this one: drinking by myself and stalking my old hometown friends' instagrams and mourning . not that it matters because i try to stay as far away from here as humanly fucking possible but it does kinda suck to always have to walk into the sad trauma emotional regression bubble of this miserable midwestern town and also have no friends

i guess in hindsight it makes me grateful for the home i have made and the family i have found in my slightly less miserable midwestern college town. im just trying to remember that there's no world where i can fully be myself while being suffocated in the place that reminds me of everything that hurt me and broke me down and stripped me of every fiber in that which makes me a human being, and no matter what, i have a home where i am fully embraced for the person i am.

i have grown; i can learn to let go, i forgive, and i understand.

i have a coffee date planned for tomorrow morning with my sister who hasnt spoken to me in two years. how i was able to arrange that despite feeling like her leaving ended my whole fucking world is beyond me. im forgiving to a fault. idk!

[frumblebee]

and also like? i dont think im going to take it personally anymore. people are on their own journeys. im on mine. it doesnt matter. the people who will stay will stay, and if not, thats okay too and i wish them the best <3

[frumblebee]

and i call this one: drinking by myself and stalking my old hometown friends' instagrams and mourning . not that it matters because i try to stay as far away from here as humanly fucking possible but it does kinda suck to always have to walk into the sad trauma emotional regression bubble of this miserable midwestern town and also have no friends

i guess in hindsight it makes me grateful for the home i have made and the family i have found in my slightly less miserable midwestern college town. im just trying to remember that there's no world where i can fully be myself while being suffocated in the place that reminds me of everything that hurt me and broke me down and stripped me of every fiber in that which makes me a human being, and no matter what, i have a home where i am fully embraced for the person i am.

i have grown; i can learn to let go, i forgive, and i understand.

i have a coffee date planned for tomorrow morning with my sister who hasnt spoken to me in two years. how i was able to arrange that despite feeling like her leaving ended my whole fucking world is beyond me. im forgiving to a fault. idk!

[frumblebee]

scariest halloween yet: having to find coverage for three evening shifts during halloweekend

[frumblebee]

ok google how to undo two decades of generational bad brain go

[frumblebee]

i love not getting cast in the opera and not being selected to move onto the next round of the concerto competition and getting not the reaction i wanted for an original song all in one day. yeah awesome i feel so talented and good at what i do.

[frumblebee]

remember when we used to play?

[frumblebee]

BARELY holding it together at work pray for me