Shit be ballin'

Your name is BRO STRIDER. You are obsessed with PUPPETS and your entire APARTMENT is filled with their sweet PLUSH RUMPS. You live with your younger brother/child/victim DAVE, who just doesn’t understand the SUBTLETIES and IRONY that drive your every action. He’ll learn soon enough, you hope. Those SWEET ANIME SHADES stay on your face at all times just as that RAD BASEBALL CAP never leaves your head. You wouldn’t be caught dead without them. Not that you’re going to die any time soon. COOL DUDES don’t die. You are sure you have plenty of years left to TORMENT your little bro, with or without the help of your best buddy LIL CAL. Sweet. Fuck, that was pretty dorky.

[vampirepotentate-deactivated201]

stop me plz

[vampirepotentate-deactivated201]

no…tes??

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

What the dick is the deal with that Egbert kid's mouth.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

[wrestling-people-for-peace]

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Watch the little man trip over a puppet.

Do nothing about it until the very last second. A-star parenting right there.  Kid's gotta learn. 

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

[ pops back to advertise a alpha!john blog ]

[ here ollies outie ] 

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Oh what the shit.

I forgot this blog was a thing.

[vampirepotentate-deactivated201]

dave strider doing things the gifset sTOP ME 

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Where the fuck is the soda.

[optimistictroll]

;33 < it’s no purroblem~

;33 < i don’t mind heading out.

;33 < besides, it’s purretty cool out.

> Mind you, you were used to living on your home planet where it was constantly hot and even then you still wore long sleeves. So really the Texas heat was nothing to you and you wouldn’t mind it one bit since you would be going out with a friend. It was then you realized he was one of your closer friends, even before you moved to earth. He was pretty considerate even if he tried to hide it behind that Strider irony. 

;33 < hmm?

;33 < well tea would be nice.

;33 < but whatefur mew have is fine.

> you watched him fiddle with his piercings for a moment before hopping up onto a clear counter to watch. Even though it was a little awkward, especially since the two of you weren’t strifing, it was a nice way to spend the day.

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Alright. Well, gimme a few minutes to wake the hell up. Then we can go. That sound okay to you, kitty? > Yeah, it was cool outside, but cool for Texas was still pretty damn hot. You never went outside unless you had to, and that was mostly at night. At least there was a bit of breeze around then. It wasn’t like making your way through a raging inferno. But, whatever. Maybe it would be nice to take a trip out with Nepeta. Strifing all the time would probably get pretty damn tedious. Dang. You drink that shit? Oh well, each to their own I guess. I ain’t too sure how to even make it good. > There has been a box of teabags on the counter for longer than you care to remember. It was a gift or some shit from a neighbor, something to do with your birthday. Like really, did you look like the kind of guy who sits at a table, sipping on that crap with your pinky out? Hell no.— However, you’ve got to give a lady what she wants. So with a slight sigh, you grab the kettle and start filling it up at the faucet. 

[optimistictroll]

;33 < that sounds just fine.

> You give a grin as he mentally laments the heat of his area of residence. Of course you’ve no idea what he’s thinking because you can’t read minds and his face is carefully blank again. You’re used to it though. You kicked your feet out somewhat restlessly as grabbed at the box of bags.

;33 < h33h33 well yes.

;33 < i’m mewsed to drinking it.

;33 < soda wasn’t easily accessed where i mewsed to live.

;33 < if mew’d like i can make it myself.

;33 < it’s purretty easy.

> You give a small chortle as he sighs, going to fill his kettle with water. It made you wonder why he had it in the first place if he didn’t drink tea. Maybe for instant stuff? That would make sense. You leaned over and watched him fiddle around, it was obvious he rarely, if ever, touched the stuff. That is if the layer of dust on the box was anything to go by.

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Life without soda? Shit. There ain't no way I could have survived.  > After filling the kettle with water from the spluttering faucet, you wander back across the kitchen floor. You barely ever use this piece of junk apart from for instant noodles or the occasional hot chocolate. After all, the Striders are takeout guys. There isn't really much use for the kitchen at all. Well, apart from it being a storage place for snacks and sweet, sweet soda. But heck, I ain't gonna make you do this. You're the guest. Don't worry your pretty little head about it.  > Once the kettle has been placed back down so it can heat up, you turn back to face Nepeta. It was pretty rude to talk to her without meeting her gaze, wasn't it? Not that she would be able to tell where you were looking anyway. But whatever...-- You lean back against the counter, waiting to see what she has to say next. It is nice to talk to an 'adult' for once.

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

What the fuck is a quadrant.

[optimistictroll]

;33 < i could expurrlain it to mew if mew’d like.

;33 < it’s supurr easy.

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Sure. Shoot. It sounds pretty interesting, I guess. 

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

What the fuck is a quadrant.

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Fuck cereal.

Bacon is where it’s at.

[wastinggoodurlsonpersonalblogs-]

you’re making me hungry, and i don’t even have the capacity to eat.

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Dang, kiddo. That's pretty rough. I would have offered you some and all. 

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Fuck cereal.

Bacon is where it's at.

[vvhatserface]

[novipop]

thepiplup.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 26-35 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

‘cept I’m a guy and 19. But yea. n __n

[kingdededesairship]

theairshipofmindcannon.tumblr.com is probably written by a male somewhere between 26-35 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

Im 15 but okay

[s1kko]

sophialaughingalonewithhats.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 18-25 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

[pygidia]

mrsnecessary.tumblr.com is probably written by a male somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

I’m 18 and female rofl

[queenbradbury]

pockytardis.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 18-25 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

IT’S ALL TRUE

[pandabuddha-deactivated20221031]

pandabuddha.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

HOW DID IT KNOW?

[fishpun]

lol

[timidcartoonist-deactivated2012]

timidcartoonist.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 18-25 years old. The writing style is academic and happy most of the time.

this scares me because it’s true

[bakuraryxu]

tavrosnitramsmassivebonebulge.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and upset most of the time.

[theturntechgodhead-blog]

theturntechgodhead.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time. … fuck you too 

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

fuckdeepinsmuppetass.tumblr.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and upset most of the time. Oh shit. The secret's out. 

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

"Well i ain't gonna go on the defensive." Hell no you were not going... Oh wait shit you were planing on that weren't you. Well fuck that plan. You move forward and swing up to meet his blade. God you love that sound when two swords clash together.

> There we go. That clashing sound means that the party has really started. Pulling back to gather yourself for a moment, you soon dart forward once more, altering your angle of attack. This seems like it is going to be pretty damn easy.<

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

Alright you're ready for this. You pull out your sword and flick the end of your tail a little watching him, ready to move once he does. No way in hell you're making the first move to just get knocked down you'll counter attack him.

Just lettin' you know, kiddo..--I ain't going to be happy if you go on the defensive. Understand?> There's nothing you hate more than people standing, or floating there, and just blocking your attacks. That isn't the sign of a good fighter. No siree.In seconds, your sword is in your hand and you're off. Going for a swift slicing motion, you step forward, waiting for the familiar sound of metal on metal.<

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

"Yeah the other guy." You stretch your wings out and get back up."Alright. I wouldn't expect ya to any ways. I'd be a little disappointed if ya did."

> He doesn't believe you, but whatever. There is no need to focus on that. Following his lead, you get up too, adjusting your shades as you do so. Alright. You're ready to rumble.<Sweet.

[fuckdeepinsmuppetass-blog]

"You totaled your car?" You snort in amusement because you highly doubted it was the other guys fault and shrug, Oh God you haven't strifed in awhile but it was something to do. Yeah you'd probably get your ass kicked if you agree to this. "I don't mind what we do. Kinda bored so anything sounds good right now."

Ain't my fault the other guy was driving like a maniac.Hell.> Well, strifing is better than nothing, right? It would probably do you some good to work off some of this pent up energy too. Sitting around on your ass is no way to spend the day. You know, unless you're really fucking lazy.<Alright, kiddo.Lets give it a go.I ain't goin' to go easy on you.