Aloha, cowboy. @fuckoff-assbutt - Tumblr Blog

Last week I joked that my very cerebral, retired-police-chief-grandpa is basically Holt from Brooklyn 99 and then today someone said, “damn, we’re out of decaf” and he just deadpans “well there’s no need to get hysterical.”

halles-comet

Yesterday he said “if you need to insult the same person twice you’ve already failed in your goal to devastate them”

halles-comet

My Yaya was trying to remember the name of a guy who stole money from her in high school today and my grandpa instantly pipes up “his name was Bernie Ryan and he was a scoundrel”

ever-the-sun-rises-deactivated2

Hi,

Your grandpa is my absolute HERO

lethalnihilism

oh my god lmfao

edit: it got funnier actually

i’m laughing @ all of this

valtsv

fanfic titles be like “we have not touched the stars (nor are we forgiven)” and then you look at the tags & the first one is “anal fisting”

artist btw

I thought this was a corset at first i was like ooh sick’ning

cowabungah

What’s in his ass

judyfartland

i believe that’s Buzz Lightyear

surprisebitch

he’s got a friend in him

amystiago

out of context charles boyle

salroka

some dudebro: women are too emotional to be jedi

me:

lvchd-deactivated20170404

trufflebootybuttercream-deactiv

I’m fucking screaming

teaboot

2019 is going to be a great year because we’re going to make it that way, no more of this “I hope good things come to me” shit, I’m gonna go out and drag good things to me by the fucking hair

dare-i-say-asexual

i remember when i thought i was straight and this guy i was dating was trying to pressure me into sex while i had cramps by saying “orgasms relieve cramps babe” and without thinking i replied “but you don’t make me cum” and i have never seen anyone go through the seven stages of grief so quickly

colorofinsanity

d e s t r o y e d

queenstylinsxn

Reblog if you’re bisexual, support bisexual people or are actually a bunch of tiny velociraptors in a human suit

copperbadge

I do support bisexual people but the main reason I’m reblogging this is that I thought it read “Relax if you’re bisexual” and I was like yes. Bisexuals. Get yourself a nice hot drink, put your feet up. Have a good day.

dollievyxen

theblibbles-deactivated20190101

He discovered true power in wearing a wig.

tfortrill

bxtchrelax

I FELT that “biitch”😂

macperalta

and in a even weirder way, i want you guys to be my dads.

↳ requested by anonymous

fanfictionwriter101

I’d like everyone to see this

{Credit to amalasrosa on Twitter}

virtualsilver

#real #not to be salty but this is what ive been saying#like everyone out here really still acting like fanfic isnt really writing#like its subpar and like it cant be good and have amazing lines#even fanfic writers treat it like its LESS and like theyre PLAY writing and not actually writing#like friend buddy ican ASSURE YOU that fanfic is every bit as real and good as writing from books#the only difference between fic and actual books is that books go through several stages of processing and editing and filtering#and are worked on by professionals who studied the craft of editing#while fanfiction cuts that filtering and everyone gets a chance to be heard and to be read#and instead of editors we have peer editing and reviewing#dont be fucking tricked by the mass notion that anything that young girls and queer people are interested in is immediately bad and subpar#bc it is fucking not #i will FIGHT for it #fanfiction (tags by @crossroadswrite bacause they add so much to this post)

nandalorian

The real irony is there is plenty of fanfiction that goes through more rigorous editing than some published fiction. So the difference in quality between fanfiction and “professional writing” is totally arbitrary and made up. Except that some things that are more expensive are worse.