It's All A Fucking Joke

"Once you figure out what a joke everything is, being the Comedian's the only thing that makes sense." ((Independent Selective Mutuals Only Eddie Blake / The Comedian from Watchmen RP Account As Penned and Loved by J est June 2020))

[fxckingjoke]

//Hello and welcome to my blog. :) This pinned post is intended to help those who are just viewing my page as well as myself and all my current and future partners. This post will be updated to keep as current as possible. If you ever have any questions or comments, please feel free to message me at any time. I promise I don’t bite!

Important Links To Follow / Navigation

Rules - HERE

Promo - HERE

Threads - HERE

Memes - HERE

Drabbles - HERE (currently none)

Activity Level

As of 12/25/2021 -  Semi-Active and Selective  (*this date will reflect the last time I was on and checked my asks and replies owed etc.*)

Current Ask Box Count

0 asks

Current Drafts

2 drafts

Current Starters Owed

0 starters  *(Please message me if I owe you a starter as my health has my memory so scattered)

Where In The Fuck Is J?

When I am not here, I have several other blogs that I run and may be on at any given time as well as dealing with real life stuff.  You can find me/follow me at these other blogs below.

**Chris Redfield (Resident Evil Franchise) - noonegetsleftbehind

Leon S. Kennedy (Resident Evil WTRC) - rcpdrookie

Adrian Veidt / Ozymandias  (Watchmen) - imnotacomicbookvillain

Eddie Blake / The Comedian (Watchmen) - fxckingjoke

Harry Osborn (Raimiverse Spiderman) - oscorpson

Reaver (Fable II and III) - skilledreaver

Sparrow and Princess (Fable Multimuse) - fabledheroesofalbion

Future Trunks (DBZ and Super) - weapondoesntmakeaman

Gohan (DBZ and Super) - withoutviolence 

**- I keep logged in on this blog on my phone and I am most likely to be on here.  If you would like to chat or message me or get a hold of me, this will be the place to do so.

[fxckingjoke]

“Whatever happened to the American Dream?            It came true.                         You’re lookin’ at it!”

[Promo graphic by anacommissions]

[fxckingjoke]

//Man I have MISSED my Watchmen babies. Like a lot.

Feels fucking great to be off hiatus, but I apologize I will still be slow. I am still keep @noonegetsleftbehind as my main blog so he gets first dibs. I know my attention and concentration and energy are all just fucking shit right now still so. Bear with me. 

I have developed what I think is a pretty kick ass AU to tie Eddie and the rest of his universe into ResE so I am fucking pumped to write that verse up and get some shit going here with it. 

[fxckingjoke]

bastardsunlight​:

singularity

closed starter with @fxckingjoke

Smartest man on the cinder.

The words rattled around in Adrian Veidt’s mind as the rest of their not-so-merry band filtered out of the abruptly truncated meeting, the smell of the burning map and Comedian’s cigar still hanging in the air. Rorschach grumbled something in his rasping undertones to Niteowl, who responded in a consoling tone, a gentle touch upon the shorter man’s shoulder. Dr. Jonathan Osterman left not as he had come, not immediately at least, walking out with Miss Slater, a hand on her lower back. It won’t last, Veidt thought to himself, having observed a minute exchange of looks between the blue entity—he could hardly be called a human anymore; the first Superhero, in fact, would have been more appropriate or perhaps ubermensch, if one did not want to mince words—and the young Silk Spectre, Laurie Jupiter.

Ozymandias would not admit “defeat” per se, simply adjust, adopt a new strategy, if not a new philosophy entirely. Eddie Blake could be said to be many things, but a fool was not one of them, not if one was wise, not if one was observant. Veidt was, at the very least, the latter; the former came with acknowledgment of that which he had observed and thence, its practical application.

Very little escaped his notice, in fact, and he made his own exodus, he caught sight of Blake conversing with the young Laurie. Blue eyes narrowed as he focused a little more attention on them. The exchange between Sally Jupiter and Blake was… heated, to say the least, but only from her end. Yet more puzzle pieces fitted themselves together in Veidt’s mind and he nodded minutely. He spoke only when Laurie moved off.

“She has your mouth.” The comment was neither malicious nor complimentary; it, like everything else, was an observation—albeit a calculated one in this case, but just that. He knew Blake would take it in his own direction, as he did everything else—fool he was not, but impulsive, perhaps—and chided himself internally for this petty desire to “have the last word”, such that it was. I should thank him, he thought absently, for clearing my mind. Instead, I antagonize. 

But the Comedian wouldn’t have taken gratitude any way Ozymandias could have borne for long anyway. 

The meeting had went about how he’d expected it to. Absolutely worthless. What would the point have been other than for Veidt to pretend to be some kind of magical fairy that had it all figured out and could fix everything. The sheer thought of it had been fucking hilarious to him. None of them knew a goddamn thing about how the world worked anymore. 

The truth was, everything was beyond saving. Veidt was even more out of touch with humanity than Manhattan. Rorschach was a psycho and Dreiberg needed to let his goddamn balls drop already. To think that any of them could change things or even scratch the surface of making a difference was about the biggest joke on the face of this planet. 

Eddie had had way too much fun making example of the billionaire gay boy. In fact, he thrilled to get a reaction out of him. Despite there only being just a glare from the other man, he knew he’d struck a nerve as he burned the map. He knew he’d made his point. He had the last word, for now. 

He’d gone outside in hopes of at least talking to Laurie for even a split second. He’d had such precious little time around her and tonight was no different before Sally intervened. He’d thought he was alone as he watched the car that held his only child drive away and leave him behind. He stood in place, jaw clenched and let his mind wander. 

Suddenly, he heard Veidt’s voice. Before even turning around, Eddie Blake let out a deep rumble of a laugh. He shook his head, mumbling under his breath. “Christ... Couldn’t stand not having the last goddamn word, could you?”

Turning to face the other man, he let his signature grin mask the fact that he was more than pissed about Veidt’s little assumption. There was a part of him that wanted to go at his throat right here and now. He’d love to beat the shit out of him and watch as the ‘World’s Smartest Man’ crumbled at his feet. But not right now. However, he didn’t completely discount the possibility that it could still happen if Veidt pushed the right buttons.

“So, what? Did you have too much fun in there? You come out here to get humiliated some more?” His grin didn’t waver as he locked eyes with the other man.

[fxckingjoke]

@iaintgonnabeg​ attn Heisenberg

Fucking Romania. What a place to be called to take care of a job. Of course, he’d stopped questioning this shit a long time ago. When Eddie Blake got called in and told to do a job, he did it. What would fighting do? Saying no? Nothing. He’d wind up like all the people he’d offed anyways. 

He’d been told there would be a factory and here he was. Simply breaking down the doors, he let himself in, pausing only to light his cigar with his flamethrower. What he hadn’t expected, of course, was that the guy they’d sent him to bring back alive would be here waiting for him. 

Eddie arched a brow, a smirk pulling at his lips around the cigar as he blew the smoke out around him. He shifted the cigar enough to be able to speak around it, amused gaze fixed on the other man. “Heisenberg, right? Loving the uh... Factory hobo look you have going on.”

[writingxonthewall-archive]

//Another little update for everyone - I am awaiting surgery, currently. I go Wednesday for my consult with the surgeon and I will know then how long I have to wait for this hell to be over. Fingers crossed and good vibes it’s REALLY soon. Like this week or next preferably.

At any rate, my activity will continue to be spotty to almost non-existent as this continues. Currently, I am almost constantly in pain, but have had to return to work. When I am home I am resting. When I get surgery it may be a minute until I can sit at my laptop comfortable enough to write replies etc.

Any well wishes and patience are much appreciated. <3 Thank you all!

[fxckingjoke]

@jiirens​ gets a starter

Eddie takes the man, or whatever the hell he was, in. He shifts his cigar to let out a laugh. At this point, nothing really phased him anymore. Even this laughably buff alien looking piece of shit in some kind of spandex.

He plucks the cigar from his mouth, a grin on his face as he eyes the other being. “Christ. Veidt’s back on his shit again, huh? Alright, I’ll bite. What the fuck are you supposed to be?”

[fxckingjoke]

//Did some edits to my rules and fixed some tags. I also went through and deleted all my OOC posts. As of today (04/23/21), I am giving this blog a soft reboot by wiping all of my current threads to help spark more muse and desire to be here. If we had a thread or threads that you would like to continue the plot on somehow, please do not hesitate to message me!

THIS BLOG IS NOW ACTIVE AGAIN! :)

[fxckingjoke]

"Whatever happened to the American Dream?            It came true.                         You're lookin' at it!"

[Promo graphic by anacommissions]

[fxckingjoke]

@bizarromuses​ asked: “I think the cat just ate some tinsel off the tree.” (Quick. Get Bubs to a vet before Adrian has a Christmas breakdown.)

Christmas Starters - Still Accepting

Eddie takes another swig of his whiskey, allowing a deep laugh to escape his lips. “Damn if that ain’t fucking funny.” He nods to Dan, grinning. “Maybe she’ll puke on Veidt’s expensive ass sheets.”

[roleplaymemeworld]

CHRISTMAS STARTERS

“Where has all the eggnog gone?”

“Do you want to decorate a ginger bread house with me?”

“The older I get, the more I understand the Grinch.”

“I bought matching Christmas pajamas for us!”

“I have wrapped like 200 presents and I am still not done.”

“I think the cat just ate some tinsel off the tree.”

“This is our first Christmas together and I want it to be special.”

“We can add a special ornament to the collection each year. This year’s is for our future baby.”

“Can you help me put the star on top of the tree?”

“What do you want for Christmas?”

“Is this an ugly Christmas sweater kind of party, or do I have to wear pants?”

“Everyone is drunk on rum and unwrapping the wrong presents.”

“If I have to bake one more cookie, I am going to scream.”

“You have sprinkles in your hair.”

“Did you know that candy canes don’t actually taste as magical as they look?”

“Let’s go for a walk and look at Christmas lights!”

“What did you get [ insert name ] for Christmas? I have no idea!”

“Is your family coming over for Christmas?”

“Can you help me set the table? The guests will be here soon.”

“It’s snowing on Christmas!”

“Can we make hot cocoa and watch a Christmas movie together?”

“Please hang up the stockings for the kids, so I can fill them.”

“Go ask mommy/daddy for a glass of milk for Santa.”

“You’re my best Christmas present this year.”

“I think the roast is burning in the oven and grandma is already drunk.”

“How about Christmas in a cabin in the mountains this year?”

“We should do a Secret Santa with the others!”

“TURN OFF THE RADIO, LAST CHRISTMAS IS PLAYING!”

“I’m Scrooge and I expect to be visited by a couple of ghosts tonight.”

“I’m glad we get to spend Christmas together this year.”

“No one should be alone on Christmas!”

[blackcatrph]

☞☞ quotes i found on pinterest sentence starters pt. one ☜☜

“  i’ve polished this anger and now it’s a knife.  ” 

“  i’m fine, i’ve had worse.  ”

“  death too must be earned.  ”

“  how do you destroy a monster without becoming one ?  ”

“  am i a bad person ?  ”

“  family isn’t who you’re born with, it’s who you’d die for.  ” 

“  are you flirting or starting a fight ?  ”

“  i’ll survive, somehow i always do.  ”

“  um.. that’s my emotional support knife collection.  ”

“  tell me; would you kill to save a life ?  ”

“  i am someone who did not die when they should of.  ”

“  i’ve never been good at emotional stuff. except anger. i’m good at anger.  ”

“  you can’t protect everyone !  ”

“  i have to try.  ”

“  turn the pain into power.  ” 

“  what doesn’t kill me better run.  ”

“  are monster born or created ?  ”

“  chin up kid, they’d kill to see you fall.  ”

“  if he puts his hands on you, cut them off.  ”

“  i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me.  ”

“  don’t play games with me. don’t ever think you’re capable of that.  ”

“  the question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.  ”

“  something had made your eyes go cold.  ”

“  you haven’t even seen my bad side yet.  ”

“  everybody knows that i’m a mess.  ”

“  i’m sorry i let you down.  ”

“  well, if it isn’t the feeling i was trying to avoid.  ”

“  you are not your father.  ”

“  even on your bad days, be kind.  ”

“  you don’t want me and i need to accept that.  ”

“  stay gentle. everyone is at war.  ”

“  the risk i took was calculated. but clearly i am bad at maths.  ”

“  i wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness ?  ”

“  always be a little kinder than necessary.  ”

“  kind words cost nothing.  ”

“  i am being perfectly fucking civil.  ”

“  we’ll never be those kids again.  ”

“  i’m the original family disappointment.  ”

“  if karma doesn’t hit you, i fucking will.  ”

“  if you can’t be happy, at least you can be drunk.  ”

“  you can talk to me, or not talk to me, but i’m here.  ”

“  guess you’ll just have to fight me.  ”

“  i never asked to be like this.  ”

“  wow.  you’re a dick.  ”

[fxckingjoke]

timoremdei​:

He opened his mouth, then closed it again.  The…  Spooky Scary Skeleton Man?  A Butterfinger?!

How dare he!  Did he not know he stood before the Master of Fear himself?  The God of Terror?  The Pharaoh of Fright?

“I…..”  What was even wrong with this man?  Was he stupid?  Why wasn’t he scared?!

“Fuck you,” he managed finally, defeated and thoroughly confused, and slunk back into the shadows from whence he had come.

Aww he struck a nerve. Eddie found himself chuckling and grinning through the cigar in his mouth, As the Spooky Scary Skeleton Man ran off, he grabbed a Butterfinger from the candy dish he was handing out that Halloween and chucked it right at the guy. 

“Hey!” He called, still grinning. “Don’t forget your Butterfinger, Spooky! Oh, and... Happy fucking Halloween!”

[hairstylesbeauty]

[biscuitsandhorrorslash]

“Justice is comin’ for all of us.”

A whole bunch of extra Watchmen gifs part 1

[selinakylebat]

The Comedian + Smoking. 

[fxckingjoke]

quiscustodietipsos​:

“Know enough to recognize anger.  Understand it.  Feel the same thing every day….  ENK.”

The sound was loud, almost violent when it left his throat, and accompanied by a flinch so violent it bordered on convulsion.  He hadn’t meant to say that.  He hadn’t meant to tell him that…  Hadn’t meant to tell him anything about himself.  Stupid, stupid, stupid….

Gun still lowered, Eddie closed the distance between them after he heard those words and that awful noise. He leaned down and in, dark eyes hoping to meet the other’s behind that goddamn mask. He was furious, but a bitter, angry laugh escaped his lips.

“Don’t even try to fucking pretend you know one goddamn thing about the shit that I feel or experience every day.” He leans in even closer, a mere breath away from the other man’s masked face. He could smell him and he wasn’t keen to stay this close. “You and I? We ain’t alike. Not one fucking bit and if you think we’ve got something in common because of all this Watchmen shit? You’re wrong.”