Abby

Twitter: @gaile317

[aries-in-wasteland]

12/11/2018

This might be the first personal entry I’ll have in a long time. I can’t remember when was the last time I let myself bleed through words.

Do you know what, these days I am at my most vulnerable side. I am so tired. I am so exhausted of everything, of living… of this life. I woke up wishing the day would happen differently, and I would sleep praying the next day would be better.

My mask is slowly wearing off, and it’s getting harder to maintain this facade with each passing day. I feel like drowning, and I get tired and tired each day – the kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix.

I’m so tired, if only you knew, so forgive me if i die.

[gaileabrea031794]

[gaileabrea031794]

Not everyone around you is your friend.

Haaay. What happened to them? Ang laki ng pinagbago nilang lahat. Grabe lang. Okay lang naman, okay lang talaga. Yung tinalikuran ka ng mga taong inaakala mong kaibigan mo sa panahon na down na down ka? :) OKAY LANG! Wag nalang din kayong lapit ng lapit sakin kapag kailangan nyo ng kaibigan o tulong. Okay lanv sana yung hindi nyo ko tulungan sa ganitong panahon e, pero sana naman kahit yung makita ko lang na concern kayo or nasa tabi ko kayo kahit na di nyo ko matulungan, masaya na ko don e. Pero wala e, ni paramdam wala. Hahaha! Pag may hihiramin ang bilis lumapit. :) Never ko nga naranasan yung kinakamusta niyo ko eh. -,- Kahit naospital ako nagkasakit ako, wala talaga. Di sa nanunumbat ako, pero alam ko kaai ang tunay na kaibigan nandyan para sa isa't isa. So that means hndi ko pala kayo TUNAY na kaibigan? Kaibigan nyo lang ako kapag may kilangan kayo? HAHAHHAHAHAHA! 15yrs ngayon napatunayan ko na naglolokohan lanv tayo dito. Sorry di nyo ko ininform e. Oo masama loob ko, masamang masama yung loob ko sa pagtalikod nyo saken sa panahong kailangan ko kayo. -.-

[loveee12]

Lalala <3

abiipot317 im so happy for you. :-*

[gaileabrea031794]

Thabk you! jajah12 :)

[imyouraugustus-deactivated20141]

[aries-in-wasteland]

Being In love; is the most wonderful and amazing thing that a person would feel.

Once you’re in love you do everything just for that one particular person your falling into. You do things for him/her. That makes him/her happy. Because seeing him/her sad. Breaks your heart. For you it’s your obligation to make him/her life wonderful. Just like a fairytale. 

Once you’re in love you make scenarios in your head. Which you and him/her is the only person that’s in there. You make day dreams in your head like you and him/her are holding hands, cuddling, kissing, eating together, walking together, laughing together, reading a book together, looking at the sun as i sets, having fun at the beach, having a family and taking good care of your child.

Once you’re in love you’re afraid. Afraid to loose the one you love. Afraid to loose the one who make your life enchanted. You get jealous and over-protected. Jealous because you’re afraid that someone might steal him/her from you. Over-protected because you’re afraid to loose him/her, like seriously loosing like forever. Forever that you’ll never see him/her.

Once you’re in love you got hurt. Because nothings perfect. You’ll feel pain like it’s tearing your heart into pieces. Both of you will argue and fight. But it’s natural when it comes to a relationship. The most important is you two will hold on, love each other, and be strong.

Once you’re in love you will never know the real you. Sometimes you do things that you never ever did before. Sometimes even you don’t want it to do you’ll do it just for the one you love. You do things that makes the one you love even if it’s not your happiness anymore. 

[girlbehindthisblog-deactivated2]

[aries-in-wasteland]

During the day, i act normal. I show them that I’m fine. I am acting that i am happy and nothing is bothering me. I’m laughing so hard just to stop the tears from falling. During the day, i am just a normal human being continue living her life just like the others. Everything’s fine with em. I am happy when i am with my family, friends, in front of everyone. I don’t want them to show how i truly feel, i don’t want them to see what’s inside me. I just go with the flow, i am faking my feelings. I keep myself busy just to stop my mind from having these thoughts inside my head. They think i am fine. They think i am really happy just like them. they don’t know that i feel so lonely that it hurts. I can feel that my heart is shrivel up in my chest. They don’t know that my insides were screaming for some help. They don’t know how much i wanted to tell them that i am dying with so much pain. but i chose not to tell them and pretend that i am fine. But at the end of the day, when i am alone inside my room, that is the time to let everything out. During the night it is my time to cry. To show my weakness. No one knows that at night i feel so sad and i know no one can help me. I am crying while they’re peacefully sleeping. Because this is the only time where i can be myself. Where i can show my real feelings without having to pretend that i am okay.

[girlbehindthisblog-deactivated2]

[aries-in-wasteland]

I fell in love with you. Not sure why or how.

I just woke up one day with this strange feeling. My heart’s beating so fast. I am smiling like an idiot whenever you cross my mind. I can’t explain this feeling that i am feeling right now. When i am with you, i feel so happy and it’s like my heart wants to come out from my chest because of too much excitement whenever we are together. I can’t even hide my smile whenever you’re talking to me. And when you’re not around, i feel so sad. I feel so incomplete and it’s like something is missing on me. I don’t know why i am feeling this way. Am i in love or i am just so attach to you? Whatever it is, i feel so glad feeling this way towards you. There’s no one i can compare to you. I feel so happy for having you in my life. You make me so happy in so many ways. Maybe this is love, right? I fell in love with you because of a million things you never knew you were doing. You don’t know that you’re unconsciously making someone fall for you. You are such a great person and so easy to fall in love with. And falling in love with you is one of the best feeling i ever had. You are the only one who can make this heart beats so fast. This is what they call love, and i think i love you already.

[girlbehindthisblog-deactivated2]

[aries-in-wasteland]

I am jealous to the people who got to see you everyday. Those strangers who you make an eye to eye contact. Those people who you can talk to and so lucky to hear your voice. They are so lucky to have a chance to know you, to be with you for the whole day. They got the chance to see you in person and have the chance to hold your hand. I am jealous because i wish i was there. I wish i can be with you everyday. How i wish i got the chance to wake up every morning and be able to open my eyes and you are the first person that i can see. I hope i got the chance to hold your hand and never let you go. I wish i was there, be beside you and spend the rest of the day together. So that i could hug you anytime i want especially when you’re not feeling well. I want to be with you now and for the rest of your lives. But for now, let us just bear the distance between us. I get jealous to everybody who’s with you when I’m not with you.

[kimpoyfeliciano]

Words don’t have the power to hurt you, unless the person who said them means a lot to you.

(via kimpoyfeliciano)

[gaileabrea031794]

[gaileabrea031794]

”I demolished the bridge behind me so there's no other way but to move forward."

[gaileabrea031794]

It's been a year since me and my ex- boyfriend broke up. Magmula nung araw na naghiwalay kami, hindi ako pumayag magpaligaw. In short, sarado ang puso ko pagdating sa buhay pag-ibig. Una dahil masaya na ako sa kung anong meron ako, pangalawa is takot akong masaktan ulit. Dahil hindi lingid sa kaalaman ng iba na ako'y galing sa isang nanadurog pusong relasyon. :) Nagmahal, niloko, nasaktan, iniwan. Kaya ganun nalang siguro yung takot kong mahulog ulit. Bawat araw na lumilipas, nararamdaman kong malaya na ako, at sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam. Marami akong nakikilalang kaibigan, nagagawa ko yung gusto ko. Kasabay ng pagkakaroon ng bagong kaibigan ay ang pagkakaroon din ng mga manliligaw. Pero dahil sarado ang puso ko sa mga ganyang bagay, ang ginagawa ko kapag nakakaramdam akong parang may something yung guy sakin, iniiwasan ko kaagad 'to. Ilang lalake din ang iniwasan ko dahil takot akong mahulog, takot akong masaktan. Isang araw nagpunta kami ng Batangas. Naging masaya naman ako, nagouting kami. Tapos nakapnuod din ako ng liga doon, laro yun ng "DE CHAVEZ CLAN" na ang iba sa mga member nun ay pinsan ko. Ang kinagulat ko ay ang isang lalaking medyo bata sa na isa sa mga miyembro ng De Chavez Clan. He looks familiar, then tuwang tuwa ako habang naglalaro siya. Hindi ko akalain na siya ang pinakamagaling sa grupo nila samantalang siya ang pinakabata.  And I admire him for being a good player and a cute guy. Haha! Habang pauwi na kami, iniisip ko pa din kung bakit familiar yung face nung lalake(RENZ DE CHAVEZ). Then suddenly I realized siya pala yung escort ko sa entourage ng pinsan ng papa ko. Hahahaha! Dali dali kong hinanap ang picture namin at agad kong sinave sa aking cellphone, ginawa ko pang wallpaper. Hahahaha! Nung nagkaron ako ng time na maginternet agad ko hinanap yung facebook niya. But sad to say he has a girlfriend. </3 then after kong gawin yun, nung mga araw din na yun e pumunta ako sa kabilang court hinanap yung mga pinsan ko. Nanuod kming game, nagasaran, namburaot, nagkulitan. Nakikain ng dinner sa bahay ng tita namin. Pero sa mga panahong iyuun iniisip ko pa din si Renz.  Hayy grabe. Nagtanong p ko sa kaibigan ko kung totoo ba tong pagkakacrush ko kay Renz, alam niyoang sinabi niya? Sabi niya " Teh! Ano ba yan? First timer lang magkacrush? NagkaBF na di p alam kng pano magkacrush?!" And I was like " Ugh. Bat nga kaya hindi ko alam un? Nagkabf na ko nakalimutan ko n ung pano magkacrush. HAHAHA! Pero sa maniwala ka't sa hindi, nalungkot ako sa pagkakaalam na may girlfriend yung crsuh ko. -,-

[gaileabrea031794]

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Sweet messages from special someone. <3