Her fingers continue parsing through his hair, just grazing along his scalp. The smile he tips her way isn’t the one she so loves to find on his face. No, it’s thinner and less pure. But it is still him, and it is still a smile and she returns it, though just as wan. “Yes, it does,” she comments softly. It’s a truth she’s known for a long while, sacrifice for the Court. It just isn’t necessarily something she wants for him. But – he is with her and she is the Court. She only wishes it wasn’t the cause of his pain.
She frowns softly, shaking her head. “You didn’t ruin the evening.” It was messy, yes, and not exactly what she had planned, but clearly the conversation was something necessary. Something they both needed to discuss and clear the air on. True, they hadn’t come to any real solution, but Lacha is in favor of always saying what needs to be said – a pinnacle Unseelie, it seems. “My plan was merely this, mostly.” Again, she presses a quiet kiss to his lips.Â
“If you’d like to go dancing, we still can.” It might be nice. To find a club or lounge, out of the way, loose themselves together in the dark and the music. Press close and press away all memories of the fight and soaking red wine. “Or, I’m perfectly happy to just stay here, with you.” With his head in her lap and her hand in his hair. Her plan, after all, was just an evening with him, time spent with him. Not pretending one way or the other, allowing herself to reach out and touch when she wanted, kiss when she wanted.Â
Drawing her thumb along his cheekbone, the one unmarked, Lacha presses out a sigh. “I love you.” It’s a bit absent, the statement, but looking at him – still here, still with her, still trusting – she could hardly think of anything else.
Despite her soft words and reassure he is well aware that the fragility of their relationship and liaisons have been exposed with this fight. She has been honest, perhaps brutally so, and he has allowed it to continue this way for so long that he can’t be shocked by her response. The evidence of it all continues to pool around the base of her wall, stained red and ruined.Â
What little relief he feels from speaking his mind is ruined with the knowledge that he will continue to bow his head and carry the weight of her wishes along with the pain of his own desires. Camellia will grow up without him present in the way he wishes to be most. She is merciful enough to allow him time with her at all yet he has always been greedy enough to crave more than what has been fed to him.Â
Her agreement to do something that is rare for them, something so minuscule that it hardly seems worth celebrating, is more of a settling for the situation at hand than he thinks she realizes. It is an olive branch offered that he isn’t sure is too deserved in this situation but he’ll take it. “I love you as well,” he whispers, turning to kiss her thumb. They are both echoing empty words that truly have meaning but have been corroded by what they squabble uselessly over. Their love is all they have in a society where they are not allowed to. Or rather one that would accept it but she will not allow it to be. But such thoughts are only going to rile him up again so instead he eases up off the couch and takes her hand, helping her up as well. “Come on, let’s go dancing. I know a hole in the wall place few fey wander know of...it’s mostly mortals only.”Â