[funnytwittertweets]

[swagforbirds]

my assistant: Oh, boss, i have to report that your last 7 posts were... flops. im sorry.

me, lips quivering, eyes wet, at my office table: i... hrrrngh... *starts hitting my own head* stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

[thatsoup]

You're being too hard on yourself. Posts are like flowers, not products. Don't let the expectations of capitalism ruin your posting experience.

[swagforbirds]

can i hold your hand

[thatsoup]

Of course

[roseybits]

[thickness-protection-program]

Me n the girlies when the Ibuprofen hits

[c3po]

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

[effemimaniac]

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

[brunz]

carly rae jepsen is throwing bricks at my house but what am i gonna do, stop her?

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

Shes just making it stronger by increasing the total amount of bricks. Shes saving your life

[brunz]

Queen of throwing bricks and saving my life

[girlballs-archive]

putting the word "twink" up on the shelf

[midibuttons-deactivated20230327]

[skyinide]

[afronerdism]

This might be the funniest reply I’ve ever seen in my life

[thepioden]

[fozmeadows]

I AM WHEEZING

[vigilantsycamore]

In theory I understand that likes are a way to bookmark posts. In practice, for me likes are akin to giving someone a thumbs up from across a crowded room, and if I want to bookmark something I just save it to my drafts

And sometimes I give someone 241 consecutive thumbs-upses in the space of 5 minutes, each for a different reason, and for that I am sorry

[naismeadow]

☁️☃️…brr

[pyrobchilling]

Oh shit I just realized I can post the "Gaussian Blur Wizard That Gaussian Blurs You" here

[flyinghellfish]

[mlarayoukai-archive]

Hell yeah brother

[lux-astralis]

one phase of tumblr that i miss is that time when people used to put lucky luciano in every single picture

[yippie-kai-gay]

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

[lu-sn]

and the thrilling sequel: i consumed a media months ago and you are still hearing about it

[freenarnian]

and the cautionary conclusion: the media has consumed me

[mylittleredgirl]

tumblr on goncharov (1973): i have not consumed a media and you are still going to hear about it

[dune-sietchposting]

[animentality]

Goncharov broke containment.

[kaijuno]

Kitty pick-up test with the local kitties