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I HATE THIS I HATE RHIS
I’m gonna kill my self
Why won’t they tell me
Why haven’t they told me “I love you too” yet
I think I hate that the have the art account and that’s really bad and toxic of me I know but
I have this weird jealous feeling at the fact that they didn’t show me their art first before they posted it like they usually would. It makes me want to scream it makes me want to cry and maybe I’m selfish and bad but I feel like I’m starting to become useless to them
When I see their art blog I get nervous
I’m starting to get anxiety just by thinking of them why is this
How could I ever be mad at them
They’re my baby and I love them so much they’re my lover
I hate how mean I am
I can’t stop crying I love them so much
Sometimes I’ll see old art they showed me last year on their new art account, and I just get filled with sadness. I should’ve valued all I had before The Incident a lot more than I did really. I should value them more. It’s weird because I value them a lot already but I think it’s not healthy the way I am with them. I love them so much but they make me so nervous and sad. I can’t stop thinking of new years. I can’t stop thinking of New Year’s Eve when they told me Happy new years. I don’t know why. I can’t stop thinking of last year. And I don’t know if I just think last year was better because I blocked out the days I was so depressed. There’s something about them. After my episode is done and over with I all of a sudden find them so calming to me.
lets see