No one talks about it but if you have a really big cock there are a whole host of unique problems you face. Apparently, the avg USA penis is 5.1 inches. Are babies included in the sample? Because that could be fucking up the result. But if I just accept this, without bieng too graphic, as my reproductive apparatus is more than double the avergage, it seems I am a guy with a big dick. Here are some unique problems I have:
- its hard to wear cool shorts or tight jeans. In the shorts, my dick (unaroused) might just pop right out and get me on a sex predator list, and in tight jeans my dick looks like one of those cartoon cocks juvenile delinquents draw on everything. I had this great pair of cords once, that fit awesome, except my dick was glaringly obvious in it and my wife felt uncomfortable with me leaving the house in em. So it’s long ass shorts and pants with a bit of room for life!
- I can’t wear boxers. My dick swings like a metronome. If I run in boxers, it’s like a flesh tsunami in my pants. It’s literally a force of nature. It’s like how a chick with big tits needs an orthopedic bra. I wear American apparel briefs like a twink at a sleep over.
- even magnum condoms are a bit too tight. Some shitty brands, looking at you lifestyles, left bruises around my dick and it only made it like a 1/3 way down. Some partners are a lil apprehensive of you going in with the majority of your shit raw, using the condom like an air bag or repurposed catcher’s mit. I’m married now so this is moot. But condoms are for guys with crumby dicks. You can be risk adverse and have a big cock, not all of us live in jungles!
- that romantic idea where you get to fuck a lady like a million times a night ain’t happening when you have a big ol dick. They are all too sore for that shit. First time with me, you bleed, and even the hundredth time you are gonna be i think ill call out of work sore.
- no one wants something this big up their ass. And unless she works for the circus, deep throating is out of the question.
- all those jokes about white guys with small dicks feel exclusionary. I just can’t relate to that shit.
I can think of more. I used to get a lot of wierd old dudes sneaking peeks in the locker room, my dick has slipped into way too many public toilet’s water, etc. but I just wanted to get this out there. No one rallies for dudes with classic john holmes style tall dick and I feel compelled to take a stand. Guys with big dicks have problems too, they just don’t seem as lame and pathetic as small cock problems.